What Cynthia Nixon is Teaching Us About Sexuality

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Joe Kort, Ph.D

When actress Cynthia Nixon declared that for her, being gay is a choice, she received much negative backlash from the gay and lesbian community.

I don't see her revelation as negative as much as I appreciate her giving us an opportunity to discuss a very complex concept of sexuality.

Most people -- gay and straight alike -- prefer to believe that you are either gay or straight. Bisexuals are seen as "bi now, gay later."

And those who are "heteroflexible" -- heterosexual but enjoying gay sex everyone once in a while -- are almost always seen as latent homosexuals, especially if they are males.

The truth is that it is not this simple at all.

To best understand how complicated this is, we need to be able to differentiate four terms that are often confused: sexual orientation, sexual preference, sexual fantasies, and sexual behavior. Contrary to common usage, they aren't always in alignment.

Sexual orientation encompasses one's sexual and romantic identity, in which thoughts, fantasies, and behaviors work together in concert.

It's the alignment of affectional, romantic, psychological, spiritual, and sexual feelings and desires for those of the same or opposite sex.

Sexual orientation doesn't change over time; it is fixed (although some women experience fluidity in sexual orientation; more on that below).

One's sexual behaviors and preferences might change, but like one's temperament, one's orientation remains mostly stable.

The term also refers to how someone self-identifies, not how others may categorize him or her. Some people self-identify as straight, while others self-identify as gay or lesbian, bisexual, or questioning.

It's important to ask how they self-identify, regardless of whom they have sex with.

Sexual preferences refer to sexual acts, positions, and erotic scenarios that someone prefers and finds erotic to have while engaging in sexual activity.

The term takes into account what individuals like to do and get into sexually, not necessarily with whom they like to do it.

Preferences and erotic interests can change over time, as one becomes more open or closed to certain thoughts and behaviors.

Sexual fantasies are any thoughts that one finds arousing. They can encompass anything -- sexual positions, romantic encounters, body parts, clothing and shoe fetishes, even rape fantasies.

Sexual fantasies aren't necessarily acted out. In fact, in many cases, they aren't. Straight men and women sometimes fantasize about having sex with members of the same sex and even watch porn and find it sexually arousing.

This is similar to lesbians who enjoy watching gay male porn. Lesbians who enjoy gay male porn movies report that it is not about the men in the porn but about the mutual and externalized sexual desire and power balance that exists between them, which is not usually seen in heterosexual erotica.

Sexual behaviors are any behaviors intended to pleasure oneself and/or one's sexual partner. It doesn't necessarily reflect one's orientation.

For example, gay men have sex with women all the time, and it doesn't reflect heterosexuality or bisexuality.

Men who are imprisoned engage in sexual behaviors with other men, but they do so out of sexual necessity, not because of erotic interest in other men.

They desire the sexual release it achieves, and the sex of the partner is secondary.

Men and women are different when it comes to reasons for having sex with the same sex. For straight men having sex with men, same-sex encounters aren't about romance or sexual attraction and desire but about sexual and physiological arousal -- "getting off" with another who's male and accessible.

They don't sexually desire or get aroused by looking at other men, only by the sexual act.

Women in heterosexual porn are not engaging in sex for their own pleasure only; they often are doing it for the pleasure of the straight men watching them, and because they are being paid.

Straight men in gay porn are the second highest-paid actors next to women, giving them a reason to engage in gay sexual behaviors.

But if they don't actively desire other men, how do they get to the point of having sex with them? These men typically want to bond with and get affection from other men.

Their behavior may reflect a desire to experiment, to engage in something that's taboo, or to express inner psychological conflicts involving their sexual feelings and desires that have nothing to do with having a gay or bisexual identity.

Young adults are showing us that they can be sexual with the same sex and the opposite sex while not labeling themselves or each other as the older generations do.


Read the rest

Is It a Choice to Be Gay? It Depends on the Meaning of 'It'

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Nathaniel Frank

When Cynthia Nixon, who became famous for her role on Sex and the City, recently told The New York Times that being a lesbian was, for her, "a choice," her words lit up the LGBT listservs, angering many who believe that Nixon is giving comfort to the enemy.

Those who believe sexual orientation is a choice are far more likely to oppose our equality, while folks who think we are "born that way" are more likely to support us.

If we can't help it, goes the thinking, we shouldn't be punished for it; and the corollary to that: if you can't choose to be gay, there's no need to stigmatize it as a way to discourage people from making the wrong choice.

Those angered with Nixon's comments felt they were both unhelpful and incorrect. They say that research, along with so many of our own experiences, make clear that being gay or lesbian is not a choice.

And what Nixon was really describing, although she refused to apply the term, was the fact of being bisexual, since she had previously been partnered with a man (Nixon later said, "I don't pull out the 'bisexual' word because nobody likes the bisexuals").

But many have also defended her words, particularly lesbian and bisexual women. They say she was only speaking of her own experiences and that if she feels it was a choice for her, it's not for anyone else to say otherwise.

The problem is that this is not just about what Cynthia Nixon "feels." It requires more rigorous thinking about what identity and choice really entail.

Nixon's comments further muddy a matter that sometimes seems to stem from a vast but rather simple confusion in American thinking.

To paraphrase President Clinton, the question depends on what the meaning of "it" is. When I hear "it's a choice" (or "it's not a choice"), I can only make sense of the statement if I know if we're discussing same-sex attraction or same-sex action.

I can't say it better than the blogger John Aravosis: "It's only a choice among flavors I already like." That is, I don't choose to like chocolate ice cream, but I choose whether, when, and how much to eat it.

The idea that one can choose to be attracted to one type of person over another is nonsensical, just as no one is accused of choosing to prefer chocolate over strawberry.

The question is what someone will choose to do with those feelings (eat chocolate or strawberry, partner with this person or that), and whether any particular choice is morally good, bad, or neutral.

Many in the LGBT community, as with progressives more broadly, would rather not contemplate the moral consequences of personal choice, lest we commit the same acts of judgment that have hurt so many of us in the past. Instead, they "bracket" questions of morality and opt for privacy, saying what we do in the bedroom is no one else's business.

If we choose to engage in same-sex sexual behavior, no one but us is equipped to judge our choice. If Nixon feels this was her choice, so be it.

But at a minimum, it is imperative to clear up the confusion between sexual attraction and sexual action -- not because a same-sex sexual attraction has anything wrong with it (indeed, the problem with bracketing the moral question of choice is that it wastes an opportunity to argue that, in the words of the late Frank Kameny, "gay is good"), but because the suggestion that we chose our sexual attractions does not make sense (it's not just wrong; it's literally meaningless).

Then we can move onto questions of choice about our actions.


Read the rest

Op-ed: What Makes Him Gay?

via Advocate, by Michael Lucas, op-ed contributor

Society’s double standard says that a straight woman who kisses another woman is part of the continuum of her sexuality; but if a straight guy messes around with a man, it’s cause for hasty label-making.
Isn’t it time we stopped defining male straightness so narrowly? Gay liberation should liberate straight guys as well as gay ones, but our ideas about it are just catching up.

We all know the old double standard: Sexual fluidity is celebrated in women but treated with skepticism or worse in men.

If a straight woman kisses another woman, or goes to bed with her, it’s understood to be part of the continuum of her sexuality; but if a straight guy messes around with another man, it’s cause for judgment, suspicion and hasty label-making.

Given the social taboos against gay male sex, the argument goes, no man would experiment with another guy unless he really, really needed to.

Ergo, any guy who has ever fooled around with another guy must be gay — or at least decidedly bisexual. It’s an outdated, fundamentally homophobic view: the sexual-orientation equivalent of the old racial-purity laws whereby a single drop of so-called “black blood” defined you as black.

It would be one thing if this antiquated attitude were limited to homophobic straight men (to whom any hint of homosex makes alarms go off), or even of worried straight women (who don’t want to be stages in the coming-out journeys of gay men).

But many gay people — eager to “claim” celebrities or acquaintances for the gay team — often share this approach, gleefully gossiping about same-sex encounters by people who say they are straight.

The implication is not just that straight-identified men who have dabbled in gay sex have skeletons in their closets, but that they have the closet in their bones: that they are “actually” gay and only pretending to be straight, whether because they’re in denial to themselves or just lying to the rest of the world to protect their careers or reputations.

In reality, male sexuality is a whole lot of more complicated — especially in a culture that is increasingly tolerant of homosexuality.

When I was in college, the sexual revolution was just beginning to sweep through Russian culture. Although I knew by then that I was gay, I didn’t have many ways to meet guys, and I became sexually involved with a girl from my school.

Did that make me straight? Happily, it did not.

Meanwhile, I was infatuated with a male friend of mine. One day he stayed late at my place to study for exams, and ended up sleeping over; we shared a bed, and one thing led to another.

We fooled around several more times. Did that make him gay? Sadly for me, it did not: He fell in love with a girl, and that was that. I was devastated, but despite our little affair, he was straight and both of us knew it.

This kind of thing happens with women in college all the time. There are even cute acronyms to describe this phenomenon: LUGs (for Lesbians Until Graduation) and BUGs (Bisexuals Until Graduation). Shouldn’t guys have a similar freedom to be Homos Until Graduation? Why not embrace the HUGs?

Straight actor Thomas Jane, the handsome star of the HBO series Hung, helped push the dialogue forward last month in an interview  with the Los Angeles Times, when he broke a taboo by talking openly about gay sex he had when he first arrived in L.A.

He was careful, at first, to frame it in terms of economic necessity: “I didn't have any money and I was living in my car,” he said. “I was 18. I wasn't averse to going down to Santa Monica Boulevard and letting a guy buy me a sandwich. Know what I mean?"

But Jane didn’t stop there. “It’s not a choice until you're open enough to experience both male and female sexuality,” he continued. “Until you've tasted the food, you don't know whether you'll like it or not, as my mom always said.”


Read the rest

Does Gay Sex make one Homosexual?

via blackgaymensblog, by Storm

The previous blog post about black gay and bisexual men seducing straight men prompted a lot discussion on Facebook and on Skype.

I decided to start a separate dialog, because there was a lot of focus on whether or not a man could be considered straight if he has had gay sex.

For me, the previous blog post had more to do with wanting someone, who was unattainable and lusting after straight men, who are often perceived as sexually superior, than whether or not straight men who might engage in gay sex are still heterosexual.

The minute straight men are mentioned on Black Gay Men’s Blog, some of us immediately lose sight of the totality of the article and focus on whether or not straight men, who engage in gay sex can still be straight.  So, I thought we could explore that here.

Personally, I do not believe that engaging in gay sex once makes a man(or woman) gay. I don’t believe sexuality is that clear cut – it all depends on the circumstances surrounding the sexual encounter.

I am not suggesting homosexuality is a choice, but I think engaging in homosexual acts can be. Let me make one thing clear, I am not talking about repetitive, on-going sexual encounters or referring to those men, who might be in denial. 

I think that any man who has gay sex for a prolonged period of time, or has numerous male sexual partners is at the very least bisexual.

Especially, if he does so when he has free access to women and the life of a loved one is not threatened.  This is just my opinion and not the opinion of other contributors on Black Gay Men’s Blog. 

I have never claimed to be politically correct 100% of the time. Quite frankly, I prefer being thought-provoking and getting us to have some sort of dialog, than being politically-correct.

I think some gay men are too quick to want to label anyone who has had homosexual sex as gay or no longer straight. Sexuality is simply not that black and white – not all sexual encounters define one’s sexuality.

The label “gay” is a western concept and there are societies, in which that label doesn’t exist and others where the gender of one’s sexual partners is not as big a deal as it might be here in the USA. 

In those societies, “gay” is not a political statement  and Black Gay Men’s Blog does have readers from all corners of the globe, so I try to look at things more broadly.

We don’t have to agree, but we can respect and maybe learn from one another.


Read the rest

At the Crossroads of being Gay and Muslim

via Advocate, by Amanda D. Quiraishi

During the past decade North America has seen an emergence of politically motivated Chicken Littles running around frantically warning of an imminent takeover by Muslims and their Sharia law.

Insurgent Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain, for example, famously said he wouldn’t allow any Muslim to serve in his Cabinet for fear of the foreign-sounding code of laws.

Religious and political scholars as well as the Muslim mainstream have effectively repudiated such nonsense.

The real story, however, lies with progressive Muslims who are using the protection of secular Western laws to actively reform centuries-old interpretations of their faith.

In May 2009 in Toronto, El-Farouk Khaki, his partner, Troy Jackson, and their mutual friend Laury Silvers founded el-Tawhid Juma Circle, the first mosque created for all gender identities and sexual orientations. And this year two sister circles formed — in Atlanta and Washington, D.C.

Khaki is a longtime activist in the Muslim world, but he knew a place for LGBT people was needed after September 11, 2001.

Khaki found himself called to defend Muslims living in the West against discrimination and prejudice because of terrorism done in the name of Islam.

Yet, despite his dedication in representing Muslims, he soon ran into opposition.

“I found that there isn’t a lot of understanding for someone who is both openly Muslim and openly gay,” Khaki says.

“Many queer or socially progressive Muslims give up their religion because they feel there is no space for them, and often they lose their spirituality in the process. I got tired of people saying ‘we need more inclusive spaces’; ‘we need more female imams.’ Who is stopping you from having these things? If there is no space for you, make the space!”


Read the rest

Bisexuality Exists!

via backdropbook, by Gayle Pitman

Psychology is like the classic George Orwell novel 1984. Yesterday two plus two equaled four, but today two plus two equals five – and once five is declared the correct answer, any historical record of two plus two equaling four is wiped out.

 The psychological analogue to 2+2=4 is the idea that “you’re either gay, straight, or lying” – the idea that bisexuality, at least in males, doesn’t really exist.

 This belief has very effectively invalidated bisexuality, cheapening the experience of bisexual people and rendering their sexual identities invisible. And, up until very recently, the existing biological evidence supported the doubters.

 A highly-publicized 2005 study indicated that, among the male particpants who identified themselves as bisexual, arousal patterns in response to watching videos of same-sex activity were directed exclusively towards one sex or the other, usually towards men – but not towards both.

While female bisexuality has been documented more extensively, this study appeared to be the nail in the coffin for bisexual males, cementing the idea that men who identify as bisexual must be lying, in transition, or just plain confused.

I think it’s important to be clear that the assumptions that we hold about people – particularly about members of historically oppressed groups – aren’t just benign thoughts held by individuals. Our assumptions contribute to a belief system.

They provide a filter through which we view the world. And they leak out into our cultural consciousness – the media being one example of a convoy of cultural beliefs. 

The idea that bisexuals are liars, or that they’re concealing their true homosexuality, shows up over and over and over. Sharon Stone’s character in the 1992 film Basic Instinct embodies the stereotype of the murderous psychopathic bisexual. Fast-forward to 2011, and we have Kalinda in the popular show The Good Wife.

Kalinda is a private investigator for a law firm, and her personal and work-related ethics are more than a little bit sketchy. She has sex with married men – and with married women. She manipulates people to get the information she wants.

She’s a moving target – you never really know whether or not you can trust her. (Add to the mix the fact that Kalinda is also a woman of color, and this media portrayal becomes all the more negative.) Of course, both of these examples involve women, and the idea of female bisexuality has been a little easier to digest.

We don’t really see media portrayals of bisexual men – because, don’t you know, there’s really no such thing as a male bisexual.

Read the rest

I Need a Bi Guy

via Bisexual-Talk, by msarko

Over at Net Insanity, another blog in the Klat network, I run a recurring feature called The Craigslist Files. In that column, I compile and comment on the strangest, most ridiculous posts I can find on the world's craigslist sites. Recently, I came across the following post and felt like I had to comment on it, but Net Insanity wasn't really the place for this particular piece.

 Looking for a bi guy who's dating a woman - m4mw - 31

You know what they say: it's not gay if your balls don't touch. j/k. 

I'm looking for a bi guy who is in a relationship with a woman to hang out with and possibly fool around with.

 A bi guy. Actually. Really. Bi. A bi guy, as in a guy who who actually has has sex with men and women. And you're dating or married to a woman. And she knows that you're bi. 

Looking to hang out, get to know each other, and possibly fool around with if there's a click. 

About me: I'm 31, a professional, work downtown, put in too much at my corporate job, work out when I can, try to get in a happy hour once in a while during the week and live for my weekends.

Oh, and I'm gay. Way gay. Very much in to men. Even when they're into women. And men. 

Why am I looking for a bi guy? I want more guy friends. Not girl-guy friends.

Oh, want to understand other men better, and their relationships with women. Ok, and maybe I'm a little bi myself. I'm not sure. But I'm still in to guys. 

This is more than a little silly and it's indicative of a problem in our society that never really gets addressed when discussing discrimination based on sexual orientation. The man who posted this ad is very clearly bi-curious, except he comes from a rarer angle of bi-curiosity.

He's a gay-identified man who, despite fervent insistence that he only likes other men, is very particular about wanting to engage in sexual acts involving a woman.

 It's only at the end of the ad that he admits he may be "a little bi", only to once again reinforce his homosexual identity to anyone who may be reading.

Now, I can't say whether or not this man is actually bisexual. What he's asking for (a sexual relationship with a man who is physically involved with a woman) is the tiniest of baby steps toward exploring something that scares him.



Read the rest

Gay Latinos Fighting BS: Bias and Stereotypes

via Californiahealthline, by David Gorn

Carolina Ramos has seen the struggle over and over again. She is the Latino/a services coordinator for the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) Community Center in San Diego, where she sees families torn and battered, as they try to come to grips with a child who has a different sexual orientation.

"A lot of people think LGBT issues are one thing, and Latino issues are another," Ramos said. "But for many people, you cannot separate them."

Ramos traveled to Sacramento recently to testify at an Assembly hearing on the subject. In general, she said, health risk factors increase in severity with societal pressures -- and Latinos in the LGBT community have multiple stressors, Ramos said.

For instance, lower-income people have difficulty accessing health care. Language can be a barrier. Distance from health care facilities is a barrier. Gay patients have an additionally difficult time communicating with providers. Immigrants face discrimination. Gay Latinos face discrimination from family, from friends, from church. There is the social pressure of machismo. All of those pressures add up, Ramos said.

"Everything from low income to race are stressors," she said. "You know, I've had parents say, 'Hey, they're your responsibility now, your responsibility if they die,' and that [kind of situation] was very painful."

That's the kind of situation often faced by gay Latinos and one reason for convening the recent hearing, according to Assembly member Ricardo Lara (D-South Gate), who also is chair of LGBT issues for the California Latino Legislative Caucus.

"We have individual and unique circumstances that LGBT Latinos face," Lara said, "not only in mainstream society but in the Latino community, as well."

That culture clash within the Latino community is the biggest barrier to cross for many people, according to Lara -- himself included.

"At the end of the day, you can't take away my rice and beans," he said with a laugh. "But how I feel is, you shouldn't have to choose between your culture and your sexual orientation."

Read the rest

Bill Introduced to Amend Fair Housing Law to Include Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity

Rep. Jerry Nadler of New York introduced a bill yesterday that would ban housing discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity, marital status or source of income. The bill would amend the Fair Housing Act to include these categories and would impact the sale and rental of housing, home financing and brokerage services.

"Transgender people urgently need protection from discrimination in housing. It is unconscionable that people are being forced out of their home and onto the streets because of prejudice," noted NCTE's Executive Director Mara Keisling.

A survey of transgender and gender non-conforming people conducted by NCTE and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force last year found that 19% of the 6,450 respondents reported having been homeless at some point in their lives because of their gender identity. People of color reported even higher rates, with an alarming 41% of African Americans and 29% of Latina/os in the study having been homeless because of bias.

Read the rest at NCTE.

Giving up choice in the name of marriage

by Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano
Read more LifeLube musings from Lorenzo here

Now underway - a 2 – 3 week hearing on the constitutionality of Prop 8.

I am hopeful that this step will take us closer to a Supreme Court hearing that might lead to a sweeping demise of marriage inequality in the country. However, we might be paying a high price for such a victory.

In reading what the judge has asked both sides to speak to, I saw the opening for the exploration as to whether gayness is a choice.

I haven’t a clue what scientific, psychological or sociological arguments will be presented. Although, in 2010 I imagine the argument as to whether sexual orientation is a matter of choice or biology will be answered rather easily. With a number of respected and well-regarded associations, institutions, organizations and experts agreeing that sexual orientation is not a disease or a result of a series of unfortunate circumstances, the question might be answered with some ease.

My concerns do not stem from the argument of biology versus lack-of-a-father-figure. I am concerned, however, with basing an argument about sexual orientation on biological predetermination and removing any semblance of choice, preference (god forbid) or desire (yikes!).

I understand the strategic argument for god (the Christian god, of course) and/or biology making us this way. After all, if I were born this way it would be unconscionable to deny me the basic rights that others (born the other way) have. While I get this, I don’t get how being a "biological error" (to quote Dr. Laura) or "blessing" (to quote queer revolutionaries) should be the primary reason(s) why I must be afforded the right to marry, to access health care or to stay alive.

I am not naïve; I know what country I live in, what decade I am in and what generation I was born into. Still, I can’t help but mourn the fact that I deserve these fundamental rights, not because I was born a certain way, but because I was born, period. I would much prefer to witness the realization of rights based on my humanity and not on the possibility that some divine being or mix matching of chromosomes or elongated index fingers “made me this way.”

I’m a little old school when it comes to sex and gender. I am an adamant believer in the fundamental right and necessity for choice. When I hold my partner in my arms, I am reminded not of how my mother’s womb made me gay, but how from the deep, sacred and evolving parts of my humanity I have come to desire, adore and build a life with another brown man. In the end, choice might be the one thing that keeps me queer.

I bow my hat to those working tirelessly to make marriage equality a reality. I only hope that our trade-off does not send us so far back that we cease to be queer and become normal.

Why Are People So Afraid of Bisexuals?

via AlterNet, by Adele M. Stan

Excerpt:

I remember being very little, maybe four, watching the Ed Sullivan Show, mesmerized by the siren on the screen, Miss Peggy Lee. In my memory, she is wearing a satin evening gown and a feather boa. I’m laying on my belly, looking up at the television. I can still feel the scratchy texture of the fake-braided rug on my elbows as I propped up my head with my arms. I didn’t know whether I wanted to be Peggy Lee, or just wanted to touch her.

But I was equally magnetized by Frank Sinatra -- the brash insouciance, the jacket slung over the shoulder, the cock of the fedora. I didn’t know whether I wanted to touch Frank Sinatra, or be Frank Sinatra.

Read the whole thing.

And join us in Chicago next Friday, August 14, for the Bisexual Health Summit (which kicks off the 2009 National LGBTI Health Summit.) Learn more about the BHS here.

US endorses UN gay rights text

By MATTHEW LEE – via AP

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Obama administration on Wednesday formally endorsed a U.N. declaration calling for the worldwide decriminalization of homosexuality, a measure that former President George W. Bush had refused to sign.

The move was the administration's latest in reversing Bush-era decisions that have been heavily criticized by human rights and other groups. The United States was the only western nation not to sign onto the declaration when it came up at the U.N. General Assembly in December.

"The United States supports the U.N.'s statement on human rights, sexual orientation and gender identity and is pleased to join the other 66 U.N. member states who have declared their support of the statement," said State Department spokesman Robert Wood.

"The United States is an outspoken defender of human rights and critic of human rights abuses around the world," Wood told reporters. "As such, we join with other supporters of this statement, and we will continue to remind countries of the importance of respecting the human rights of all people in all appropriate international fora."

The Associated Press reported on Tuesday that the administration would endorse the declaration.

Gay rights and other groups had criticized the Bush administration when it refused to sign the declaration when it was presented at the United Nations on Dec. 19. U.S. officials said then that the U.S. opposed discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation but that parts of the declaration raised legal questions that needed further review.

According to negotiators, the Bush team had concerns that those sections could commit the federal government on matters that fall under state jurisdiction. In some states, landlords and private employers are allowed to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation; on the federal level, gays are not allowed to serve openly in the military.

But Wood said a "careful interagency review" by the Obama administration had concluded that "supporting this statement commits us to no legal obligations."

When it was voted on in December, 66 of the U.N.'s 192 member countries signed the nonbinding declaration, which backers called an historic step to push the General Assembly to deal more forthrightly with anti-gay discrimination. It was endorsed by all 27 European Union members as well as Japan, Australia and Mexico.

But 70 U.N. members outlaw homosexuality — and in several, homosexual acts can be punished by execution. More than 50 nations, including members of the Organization of the Islamic Conference, opposed the declaration.

Some Islamic countries said at the time that protecting sexual orientation could lead to "the social normalization and possibly the legalization of deplorable acts" such as pedophilia and incest. The declaration was also opposed by the Vatican.

Copyright © 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

STRONG

My name is Keith and I’m a strong black man. For the past 37 years I have called the Westside my home. I love the Westside but I remember the only way I could survive on the Westside was being on the Down Low (DL). Many of you might be asking, “What in the hell is DL?” It’s hard to describe, but those of you who know about DL know what I’m talking about. I had to live in secret about my sexuality.

Living on the Westside, it was difficult to get information from outside of the neighborhood and at least for me I didn’t hear nothing about HIV/AIDS. I did hear about condoms, but that was just to keep women from getting pregnant. So what I did was just use condoms with women and not with my boys.

Now I got more information and proud to say that I am using condoms every time I have sex. For some 15 years now, I have decided to only be with my boys. Now that I know about HIV/AIDS, I know that condoms are more important than ever. I know now, that knowledge makes me strong!

I know that many of us from the hood can’t do this, and I don’t know how long this will last for me, but it’s a step that I believe is right for me.

May 21 - Second Annual Alternative Sexuality Conference - Call for Proposals

Call for Proposals: SOGI and CARAS Second Annual Sexuality Conference

The Center on Halsted, Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Institute (SOGI) and the Community Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities are pleased to announce the Second Annual Alternative Sexuality Conference, to be held in Chicago on Thursday, May 21, 2009.

Proposals for scholarly presentations are invited--submissions are due by February 1, 2009.

Overview

Leather, kink, B&D, S&M, polyamory… Non-traditional sexual practices, lifestyles and identities have become increasingly visible in recent years. With more portrayals on television and in movies, as well as in literature and music, clients are feeling increasingly comfortable about bringing “forbidden” sexual issues to psychotherapy.

This conference is designed to provide theoretical perspectives, clinical practice recommendations, and opportunities to discuss the challenges encountered in psychotherapy with individuals and couples in the alternative sexuality communities. The conference will also provide a venue for researchers and graduate students to present their investigations on these communities, identities and sexual practices.

The conference is the result of a partnership between the Community-Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualities (CARAS) based in San Francisco/Washington DC, and the Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Institute (SOGI) at the Center on Halsted located in Chicago. Proposals are now being accepted for the second annual conference, which will be held at the Center on Halsted on the Thursday, May 21, 2009.

Submissions must be received by February 1, 2009.

The day-long conference will include lectures, panel presentations, roundtable discussions and poster presentations. 60 minute and 120 minute sessions formats are under consideration. Suggested topics include: history and philosophy of BDSM culture, separating BDSM practice from abuse, separating practice from pathology, co-morbidity factors, issues of transference/counter-transference, impact of BDSM practices on clients with trauma history, edge play dynamics, concepts of consent, theoretical constructs, literature reviews, early research findings, therapy with polyamorous relationships.

Presenters will be offered discounted registration fees, but they will not be otherwise compensated. Applicants will be notified regarding the status of their proposals by March 15, 2009.

Please write SOGI@CenteronHalsted.org or call 773-661-0739 for additional information. The application form can be downloaded here.

Congressional LGBT Equality Caucus Formed

[thanks to AIDS Action for this info!]

On June 4th, Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin (D-WI) and Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA), officially formed the House of Representatives LGBT Equality Caucus. The mission of the Caucus is to achieve the extension of equal rights, a repeal of discriminatory laws, the elimination of hate-motivated violence, and improved health and well being for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity or expression. The Caucus will serve as a resource for Members of Congress, their staffs, and the public on LGBT issues.

At the press conference to introduce the caucus and its founding members, Representative Baldwin said, “We represent different races, different genders, different sexual orientations, different geographic regions, different generations, and different parties, but we share a common mission: to promote lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) equality.” Congressman Barney Frank said, “With a Democratic majority in the House, we now have both the opportunity and the responsibility to move towards legal equality for people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. This caucus will play an important role in helping shape the strategy by which we do this.”

The LGBT Equality Caucus is currently comprised of the following Members: Co-Chairs: Reps. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), Barney Frank (D-MA) Vice Chairs: Reps. Rob Andrews (D-NJ), Xavier Becerra (D-CA) Lois Capps (D-CA), Yvette Clarke (D-NY), Joseph Crowley (D-NY), Diana DeGette (D-CO), Keith Ellison (D-MN), Raúl Grijalva (D-AZ), Mike Honda (D-CA), Barbara Lee (D-CA), James McGovern (D-MA), Jerry Nadler (D-NY), Linda Sánchez (D-CA), Jan Schakowsky (D-IL), Hilda Solis (D-CA), Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL), Henry Waxman (D-CA), Anthony Weiner (D-NY), Peter Welch (D-VT)

Members: Reps. Howard Berman (D-CA), Earl Blumenauer (D-OR), Robert Brady (D-PA), Michael Capuano (D-MA), Susan Davis (D-CA), Rosa DeLauro (D-CT), Eliot Engel (D-NY), Anna Eshoo (D-CA), Luis Gutierrez (D-IL), Phil Hare (D-IL), Rush Holt (D-NJ), Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX), Eddie Bernice Johnson (D-TX), Patrick Kennedy (D-RI), Dennis Kucinich (D-OH), Zoe Lofgren (D-CA), Carolyn Maloney (D-NY), Doris Matsui (D-CA), James Moran (D-VA), Eleanor Holmes Norton (D-DC), Frank Pallone (D-NJ), Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL), Steven Rothman (D-NJ), José Serrano (D-NY), Chris Shays (R-CT), Pete Stark (D-CA), Betty Sutton (D-OH), Ellen Tauscher (D-CA), Niki Tsongas (D-MA), Robert Wexler (D-FL), Lynn Woolsey (D-CA)

The Science of Gaydar

If sexual orientation is biological, are the traits that make people seem gay innate, too? The new research on everything from voice pitch to hair whorl.

By David France, in New York Magazine

As a presence in the world—a body hanging from a subway strap or pressed into an elevator, a figure crossing the street—I am neither markedly masculine nor notably effeminate. Nor am I typically perceived as androgynous, not in my uniform of Diesels and boots, not even when I was younger and favored dangling earrings and bright Jack Purcells. But most people immediately read me (correctly) as gay. It takes only a glance to make my truth obvious. I know this from strangers who find gay people offensive enough to elicit a remark—catcalls from cab windows, to use a recent example—as well as from countless casual social engagements in which people easily assume my orientation, no sensitive gaydar necessary. I’m not so much out-of-the-closet as “self-evident,” to use Quentin Crisp’s phrase, although being of a younger generation, I can’t subscribe to his belief that it is a kind of disfigurement requiring lavender hair rinse.

I once placed a personal ad in which I described myself as “gay-acting/gay-appearing,” partly as a jab at my peers who prefer to be thought of as “str8” but mostly because it’s just who I am. Maybe a better way to phrase it would have been “third-sexer,” the category advanced by the gay German sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld 100 years ago. The label fell into disrepute, but lately a number of well-known researchers in the field of sexual orientation have been reviving it based on an extensive new body of research showing that most of us, whether top or bottom, butch or femme, or somewhere in between, share a kind of physical otherness that locates us in our own quadrant of the gender matrix, more like one another than not. Whatever that otherness is seems to come from somewhere deep within us. It mostly defies our efforts to disguise it. That’s what we mean by gaydar—not the skill of the viewer so much as the telltale signs most gay people project, the set of traits that make us unmistakably one.

Read the rest.