The BEST of Lifelube - "Are we Bi or is it a Lie?" From Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Are we Bi or is it a Lie?

by Barbieboy07

Barbie's bio

visit Barbie's World

I'm the third letter DAMN IT,

and I want to start

being treated like it!

Why are bisexuals looked down upon in the LGBT community? Some people say that bisexual people are just confused, greedy and selfish, but it isn't like that at all. Of course there are somepeople who claim to be bisexual that aren't really bi, they could be having same sex romps for attention or to seem adventurous. Bisexuals want to love and possibly start a family just like anyone else does, and we are not all promiscuous (though some of us are), and it isn't fair to lump all of us together in that category.

The bi-phobia going on within our own community baffles me. Some gays wouldn't even consider dating a bisexual, just because they are bi. I can't understand how gays and lesbians can be so prejudiced against bisexuals. Gay people are unfortunately the product of a heterosexual and orthodox-thinking society, where anything we don't understand is categorized as weird, strange, or queer. Some hold the same mentality that their straight counterparts do about individuality.

...how DARE someone make a decision about me

based solely on my sexual orientation...

I've had gay men tell me to my face that I'm not bisexual, and that there is no such thing as being bisexual and that I'm just a greedy fag who wants the best of both worlds, gay sex and straight marriage. I was so angry I started crying, how DARE someone make a decision about me based solely on my sexual orientation, and the nerve of a gay guy (someone who should know how that feels) telling me what I am and that my sexual preference is a phase? I believe he felt that I was copping out, by not “admitting” to being gay but still acknowledging my feelings for men, he probably saw me as a liar or someone who is afraid to be himself. But I am proud of who I am, I never lie and say I'm straight or I'm gay in different circles, I may refer to myself as a fag but thats because I'm more effeminate than straight boys.

Bisexual men and women out there have been getting a bad rap for ages, and I'm sure I speak for most of us when I say I am tired of being treated like I don't belong in LGBT. I'm the third letter DAMN IT, and I want to start being treated like it! Being “Bi”sexual means we aren't biased in our sexual orientation, we are open to both men and woman, and can love bot h sexes in our relationships. It does not mean that we like sleeping with everything that moves, or that we can't make up our minds on which sex we like more. Being bi isn't a choice, it's the same as being gay or straight, we are who we are.

There are some people who are not being true to who they are. I have always believed that “real” bisexual people are people who's love transcends gender. ”Fake” bisexual people don't love equally and give the rest of us a bad name. So far I've only seen women pretending to be bi, they'll make out with another girl just to get the attention of guys. I've had friends who called themselves bisexual but only hooked up with girls when they were drunk or when they were trying to impress some guy. “I kissed a girl and I liked it”, these words have been blaring at every club in the city for the past month, but have we really listened to the words? Katy Perry's song “I kissed a girl” is a straight girl's anthem, it isn't declaring that she is “bi” just that she kissed a girl and it was fun. But being bi is more than fun, it's a lifestyle, well at least for me it is.

One question I always get asked when I let someone know I'm bisexual is “What sex are you more attracted to?” or “Who d o you see yourself marrying a man or a woman?”. I have to laugh when someone asks me this, then I reply that I like both men and women equally and I have no idea who I will marry, I can't make a decision like that on someone's sex alone. One thing I am sure of is this, I want to start a family one day, if that means marrying a woman and popping out babies so be it. I've told this to some of my gay friends and they looked at me with cynicism, calling me straight or a breeder. I can never be straight, nor do I want to be, I just want to be happy like everyone else does.

You already know how I feel about bisexuality, but how do you personally feel about it? Would you ever date a bisexual or have you before? Do you think it's just a transitional phase or a definite state?

As a society we really need to get over this bi-phobia and try to understand that 3rd letter of queer love a little bit more.

Homeless LGBT Youth: The Next Battle for Equality

via HuffPost Gay Voices via AP, by Verena Dobnik

 NEW YORK — Iro Uikka clutches his throat as he describes the violent clash that led to spending his nights sleeping in New York City subway cars.

"When I told my mother I was gay, she grabbed me by the neck and threw me out," he says. "Then she threw my coat on top of me and shut the door."

That was five years ago when he was 18, still living at home in Florida.

Uikka is among tens of thousands of homeless youths across America who are LGBT – lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

Most are on the streets because they have nowhere else to go – outcasts who leave home after being rejected by family members or flee shelters because residents bully or beat them.

LGBT young people represent a dramatically high proportion of an estimated 600,000 or more homeless youths across the country – between 20 percent and 40 percent, according to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Policy Institute.

But only about 5 percent of youths identify themselves as lesbian, gay or bisexual, according to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

"We've won battles for gay marriage and gays in the military," says Carl Siciliano, founder and executive director of the New York-based Ali Forney Center, the nation's largest organization for LGBT youth. "This is the next frontier, the next battle: helping these youths."

The White House has taken notice. Members of the Obama Administration are hosting a national conference on housing and homelessness in America's LGBT communities on Friday in Detroit. They'll discuss these issues with advocates, community leaders and the public.

Detroit City Council President Charles Pugh, who is openly gay, is one of the participants.

"I take this discussion personally because I know too many people who have been kicked out of their homes because of their orientation," he told The Associated Press.

"To get this kind of attention from the White House is exactly what we need to raise conscientiousness and to help parents find a way to deal with their kids' orientation."

Detroit has the only nonprofit agency in the Midwest that focuses on LGBT youth – the Ruth Ellis Center, co-host of the Friday conference. But the largely voiceless, powerless youth are fighting to survive from coast to coast.

They live on streets, in subways and train stations, on river piers, in parks and abandoned houses. They're robbed, raped and assaulted. Some are murdered.

And they're invisible to most Americans.

Lesbian, gay and bisexual youth are about four times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers, according to the CDC.

And one in three is thrown out by their parents, according to data collected from youth across the country by the Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State University.

Some youth use "survival sex" to land in a warm bed, or they move from home to home of friends and acquaintances.

In the past, Ryan Kennedy resorted to survival sex. He lists his education on Facebook as "Urban Survivalism at University of NYC Streets." He adopted a rebellious middle name for his page, calling himself "Ryan TransEquality Kennedy."

"I wouldn't be alive today if I didn't get some help," says Kennedy, a transgender youth whose Connecticut family threw him out at 15. He says he was a girl who felt like a boy. He's now transitioning to male.

After years living on the streets, Kennedy, now 22, has a bed thanks to The Door, a New York nonprofit that offers shelter, food, counseling and job training programs.

On any given day, there are almost 4,000 homeless youths in New York City, and at least 1,000 are LGBT, according to a 2008 census released by the City Council.

Meager government funds and private donations cover about 350 New York beds for homeless youth. Hundreds more are on waiting lists, providers say.

In recent years, the New York state Legislature has cut funding to support homeless youth programs in general by about 70 percent.

Somehow, these vulnerable Americans survive, without beds.


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Study: Family Support Helps Prevent Suicide Among LGBT Youth

via HuffPost Gay Voices

A good support system might be the key to helping deter suicide among gay youth, a new study suggests.

The study, published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, evaluated risk factors associated with self harm and suicide among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender adolescents between ages 16 and 20.

Support from family and friends often acted as an effective preventive factor against inflicting self-harm and suicide among the population.

Adolescents who felt victimized and didn't have a trusted support network were more likely to have suicidal thoughts and inflict harm, the research suggests.

About 94 percent of LGBT youth have experienced some form of victimization, whether it be name-calling or threats, according to a Northwestern University press release.

The study emphasizes the importance of enhancing the availability of support groups for LGBT youth. In addition, it highlights society's responsibility to increase acceptance and reduce the negative stigma sometimes associated with being gay, bisexual or transgender.

Chicago Tribune columnist Dawn Turner Trice observes that parents of LGBT youth may often not know how to deal with issues and societal pressures their children might face.

But researcher and clinical psychologist Brian Mustanski suggests parents should express support instead of judgment to news of their child's sexuality, according to the Northwestern University media release. The conversation may set the tone for an open, trusting relationship.

Mustanski suggests a response like: “You are still the same child as you were before you told me, and I love you just the same.”

But an effective support system is a two-way relationship.

"...What LGBT youth share helps parents act as a resource for their kids,"

Mustanski told the Chicago Tribune.

The study followed 246 Chicago-area LGBT youth from 2007 through 2011. The findings were published on Feb. 14 in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine.


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Dear America: You Have a Gay Problem

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Josh D. Scheinert

Dear America,

It must be hard being you these days. You have so many big issues -- from the economy to national security and the looming election, just to name a few. If I may though, I'd like to focus on another one.

This is Canada, your northern neighbour (I spell it with a "u"). Blessed with a bird's eye view, I've watched troubling developments unfold below. Before more damage is done, I thought it best to offer some Canadian insight in the hopes that it may assist you as you move forward in your struggle.

I've wanted to write this for a while. During the lead up to Proposition 8 and the continued legal battle that has ensued, as debates over gay marriage spread to other states, you questioned if allowing soldiers to fight and die openly would ruin your military just as teenagers across your country tragically took their own lives after being bullied for who they were.

What finally forced my hand was a heartbreaking and infuriating article in Rolling Stone chronicling how one school district in Minnesota not only condoned but actively promoted the bullying of its LGBT students.

The result of the Anoka-Hennepin school district's policy has been devastating. One can only pray (isn't that what they'd want us to do?) that the souls of those who took their own lives are now at peace.

You Americans don't pay all that much attention to Canada. We know, and are mostly okay with it. But as you strive to build your land of the free, it might do you good to look up every now and then.

When you do, you'll discover something that might surprise many of you: We aren't all that concerned about gay people. Our Conservative government has said it has no intention of re-opening a debate on same-sex marriage, which is legal.

Abroad, it has become a consistent and strong advocate for gay rights. Contrary to some beliefs, no radical gay agenda came and hijacked our society. The sky hasn't fallen.

Now sure, things up here aren't perfect. We too have unfortunately been faced with instances of homophobic bullying and tragically, gay-teen suicide.

There are Canadians unhappy that Bob and Joe can express their love just like Bob and Joan. And I certainly don't want to imply that all, or even the majority, of Americans are anti-gay.

But there's something different, something malicious about the debate in your country. The haters are too hateful and the vilification of the LGBT community has spread too far.

In what other free and equal society would those seeking to be Commander-In-Chief stand silently as a crowd of citizens booed a soldier because he was gay?

It is a true juxtaposition of cowardice and courage, and such a moral deficiency should automatically qualify one as unfit to lead a nation.


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Hate the Gays? Imagine the World Without Us

via Huffpost Gay Voices, by Kergan Edwards-Stout

In our current political discourse, right-wing politicians continue to demonize the LGBT community in sad and desperate attempts to rally their base.

While, happily, their efforts have not been as effective as in the past, any attempt to make gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender people feel anything less than equal can lead to devastating consequences, as the ongoing string of youth suicides so painfully highlights.

Any preventable loss of dignity and human life must be stopped. The question is, "How?"

While prior efforts have focused on the issue of harassment, it is time for the LGBT community to take the dialogue one step further.

When you are a teen, simply waiting for your next birthday can seem like an eternity. Telling our youth that life will indeed get better, some years into the future, is not enough.

We must instead create a world in which there is no longer any shame in being gay. We must show that each and every one of us has something of value to contribute to this world, period.

The first step is creating discussion with the haters around where their anti-gay beliefs come from, and challenging those beliefs with facts.

But we then need to take that dialogue even further and examine more closely what they hope that such convictions will ultimately achieve.

Typically, those who hold negativity toward those who are LGBT can be placed into two main camps: those who believe that being gay is unnatural, going against nature, or those who believe it goes against religious teaching.

With either group, the case can be made to counter such beliefs with facts.

For example, those who believe that being gay is unnatural may be surprised to learn that homosexual activity has been observed in close to 1,500 species, and that such scientific certitudes should be spotlighted. For those who believe that homosexuality violates religious principles, pointing to texts such as the Bible as justification, and dialogue around translation issues, intent, and historical context, might be beneficial.

However, in both situations, while factual evidence might change some minds, most will still be unwilling to let go of long-held beliefs.

My question to them then becomes, "What do you hope these beliefs will achieve?"

Most have never looked holistically at their views, nor tried to fit their beliefs into a larger framework. They were simply told by others that being gay is less than ideal, for whatever reason, and have not challenged that assumption.

If they truly believe that being gay is a sin or abnormal, what then? Does that mean they support the harassment of LGBT individuals?

Do they hope to "convert" LGBT folks to heterosexuality, which no reputable medical or psychological association supports or validates, even going so far as to consider such "conversion therapies" potentially harmful?

Do they want us to remain celibate and single, never experiencing love and affection? Do they wish LGBT people would simply disappear?

If anything, they are creating an environment where gay youth feel that suicide is preferable to life.

But imagine, for a moment, that there were no LGBT people on the planet. Just what would this world look like?

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Religion, Family, and Gay Teen Suicides

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Aaron Anson

It breaks my heart to read about yet another gay youth suicide. What's astonishing to me is that I know of three gay suicides in as many months just among my Facebook friends.

That's a whole lot, considering my relatively small number of friends. Granted, I don't know them all personally, but most of us share the common bonds of like-minded values and a respect for human life.

Current events have caused me to start thinking -- a little deeper than before -- about the senselessness of these tragedies.

As I listened to the "It Gets Better" message produced a month ago by Eric James Borges (who recently took his life), I could hear the pain of abandonment in his voice as he spoke about growing up in a deeply religious -- and deeply prejudiced -- home.

This appears to be a common thread among every gay suicide I've had to ponder. Deep in the fabric of the pain that pushes them to take their own lives is hate, more than likely 
"justified" by the misguided religious beliefs of others.

Most media attention tends to focus on peer bullying as a major factor, and I agree with that to an extent. But often overlooked is the impact of the hateful bullying that takes place right in our own homes.

Dogmatic religious beliefs are the most often used defense against acceptance of gays.

That argument lacks the most credibility and is the least tenable. It's hard to fathom a parent who despises and exudes contempt for their own child, but it's happening all the time.

I have the unfortunate privilege of hearing their stories almost daily, and it never gets any easier. The emails are from gay youths thrown into a reparative therapy of the worst kind: rejection by siblings and parents.

Many are left homeless on the street, with all family communications cut off. They're uninvited to family events, and parents feel that their actions are justified by religious dogma -- it's the Christian thing to do.

Rejection exacerbates the self-defeating nature of hate on a universal level, because it was most likely heterosexual relationships that procreated gay children: black or white, pharmacist or drug pusher, president or car thief.

The simple solution would be for "haters" to not procreate. As unrealistic as that is, it would prevent some hate on the secular level of human existence.

Most aren't willing to abstain from sex; it's a price they aren't willing to pay.

My cousin was a teenager when my family first learned he was gay, and you would have thought an airplane had crashed in our backyard.

The malicious, bigoted religious rhetoric that ensued stunk to the heavens. I'm certain it contributed to my remaining closeted for the next 20 years.

When I finally did come out, you would have believed Jesus himself had shown up in the backyard that time. Their rhetoric was condescending, venomous, and loaded with ill intent.

It felt like the weight of the world was upon my shoulders. I've since become immune to the dissent, but the pain that these gay youths endure from those supposedly closest to them is simply unimaginable, and it's because they've been indoctrinated with religious beliefs that condone hate.

There are no winners in this religion-driven massacre of human life. The loss of even just one life is a love story that will never be told. If gays (or others) need any justification for rejecting religion and hate-based teachings, it can be found within the family circle, long before the impact of society.

This burden of judgment and condemnation that awaits at home is horrendous and completely unbearable for many.

Families must accept that using language that dehumanizes gays does not make them virtuous -- and it cannot make their children straight -- contrary to what religious beliefs may have taught them. Even if they can't identify with what it's like to be gay, they can still love their gay son or daughter.


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First 24 Hour Drop-In Center for Homeless LGBTQ Youth

via WindyCityTimes, via NEWS RELEASE

The Ali Forney Center, the nation's largest organization working on behalf of homeless lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth, today announced that it has been awarded a two-year matching $500K Challenge Grant from the Calamus Foundation of New York.

This grant will make possible the launch of the nation's first 24-hour drop-in services center for homeless LGBT youth.

In 2012, the Calamus Foundation has pledged to match all donations made by new donors or increased donations made by existing donors dollar for dollar up to $250K.

In the second year, 2013, the foundation will award $1 for every $2 donated by new or increased donors up to $250K. The foundation will also match new corporate and other foundation revenue.

Said Carl Siciliano, Executive Director of the Ali Forney Center: "The Ali Forney Center is thrilled to kick off our 10th Anniversary year by opening a services center available to youth at any times of the day or night.

This facility will help address one of our major concerns, the growing number of homeless LGBT youth on the Center's waiting list who resort to sleeping on park benches and subway cars, and must engage in high-risk behavior to survive."

Continued Siciliano: "This summer, when our waiting list reached 200 names, I became increasingly concerned about the limited number of shelter beds and drop-in service hours available.

For many years we recognized the need for 24-hour services, but due to limited funding and to prioritizing funding shelter beds, we could never build this on our own.

Thanks to the generosity of the Calamus Foundation, we will be able to offer LGBT young people a reprieve from the streets through a supportive, safe, and nurturing environment.

In this way. the Ali Forney Center will continue to greatly impact the lives of LGBT youth living on the streets of New York City."

Said Louis Bradbury, Board President of the Calamus Foundation: "The plight of homeless LGBT youth has reached a crisis level. It is critical that our community address this issue.

The Board of the Calamus Foundation is very pleased to support the work of Ali Forney and this important project in particular that we hope will make an immediate and direct impact in the lives of LGBT youth who are all too often ignored and pushed to the margins of society.

We must also recognize that the problem is so vast that it requires governmental leadership as well as funding from our community. Private support cannot replace government funding: the need is too great.

However, by providing this challenge grant, we hope to increase awareness of the issues and to encourage other member of the community and foundations to become involved."

The new 24-hour services center will be available 7 days a week, and will offer homeless LGBT youth support and vital services through the client-centered service model that the Ali Forney Center is known for.

Services will include crisis and suicide intervention, appointments with medical and mental health professionals, and substance abuse counseling, as well as career and education counseling with the goal of helping youth reclaim their lives.

The drop-in center will also provide for basic needs such as food, water, access to showers, laundry and new clothing. The Ali Forney Center is currently in the planning phase of this project and is searching for a facility to house the new center. They hope to have the program operational by the 4th quarter of 2012.


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The LGBTQ Community Needs to Be Its Own 'Person of the Year'

via Huffpost Gay Voices, by Natasha Dillon

2011 was a good year in many ways. Some of us now have the right to half-marry in the fine state of New York (has this milestone been outplayed yet?!).

Others can still marry their first cousin in 26 states. So, all seems to be right in the world -- the United States. Oh, and Time named its Person of the Year: the Protester.

2009 was not a good year. In December the New York State Senate voted against the LGBTQ community's right to marry. And I, by default of my conscience, became a protester.

I think it may have taken me a solid year to actually call myself that. Nevertheless, I was surely in the minority of the minority.

There was a small, and I mean small, group of us that decided to ditch the safe, harmless lobbying ways and begin raising some hell for our equality.

We certainly weren't being voted person of the year. If there was an Amoeba of the Year award, we would have at least been nominated by the LGBT community. Let's just say it was "frowned" upon. Self-hatred is a dangerous thing.

So now we are all the 99 percent (well, 99 percent of us are). That is a whole hell of a lot of f-ing people. We are all but 1 percent of over 307 million documented people in the United States alone.

That seems like a pretty broad umbrella to align myself with, especially when a majority of the other people who fall under that umbrella do not support, let alone fight for, my equality.

So, yes, I'll proudly own the fact that my salary doesn't exceed $1.5 million a year. Fighting for money is far less important to me than fighting for my equality. I hate money. I love my community.

My heart breaks every time I hear that a child killed themselves because they were bullied for being queer. Every time a teen is kicked out of their home because they came out or were outed.

Every freezing winter night that the same teen has two options: freeze to death on the street or sell their body for a bed. Every time a friend of mine has their heart ripped out because their partner has to leave this country due to unequal federal marriage laws.

Every time someone gets fired from their job and has absolutely no legal recourse. Every time a lesbian is raped to be "fixed." Every bit of shame that we all feel as a community is shame that 89 percent of the 99-percenters will never feel.

I have no desire to be divisive, and I fully support and unify with the rest of the 99-percenters; I do the same with all 100 percent of my fellow Americans.

However, I hate to see our causes, our struggles, our fight be drowned out. We cannot forget that we are still a minority, suffering daily as unequal citizens. We are the 9.9-percenters, people whom I feel empowered to stand up and fight for.

A community that doesn't have the voice of 99 percent of the population. A community that faces down multi-million-dollar organizations that are formed solely to strip our rights away and, with hatred in their eyes, harm our children.

A group that is not only suffering from economic injustice and income disparity but legal and social discrimination and violence, too.

I have ultimate respect for everyone who stands up for what they believe in, but I feel reluctant to jump on the bandwagon and become one of the persons of the year.

Instead, I want to fight for the people who need all the voices we can get. I understand that it is human nature to want to be a part of something, to fit in. However, we were dealt a different set of cards, and it is our duty to fight for our equal set of cards.


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Changing the Game for LGBT Students

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Chris Murray

As a high school teacher and coach in Bethesda, Md., I have found our school to be a generally safe and wonderful place for our 2,500 students and faculty.

However, like any community of this many people, there is a wide range of views and opinions in terms of acceptance for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) issues.

But three specific and upsetting instances at school this year caused me to take action.

In September I had an idea for every teacher to display an equal sign in their classroom in order to show faculty support for all of our students.

When I proposed this idea to the sponsor of our high school's Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA), she questioned how many teachers would actually put them up. She added that the student club had tried this activity before and was met with resistance.

I was bewildered. It had never crossed my mind that a teacher would not be accepting of a student because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Why would an educator bring their personal beliefs into the classroom when we're supposed to support the needs of each student?

Later, in December, I had the opportunity to meet two representatives from the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) at a social studies conference in Washington, D.C. During our conversation I mentioned that it seemed as if things had been getting better for LGBT people in the country.

The look that I received was one of absolute astonishment, as if I were from another planet.

And really, I was. As a straight, white, upper-middle-class male, I have not had to face or endure any true injustice because of the personal characteristics that make me who I am.

It was after listening to these representatives that I realized that the D.C. metropolitan area has come a long way but is still far from perfect in the level of acceptance of LGBT issues compared with the rest of the country and world.

But the latest instance was an eye opener and what pushed me to do something for LGBT students. It did not come from a fellow teacher, or a GLSEN representative, but from a member of our student body.

I will call her "Emily." I have known Emily as a student for a while, but I never had the chance to sit down and listen to her story. I was astounded by what she had to say.

Thanks to Emily's courage to address the entire staff and administration of our school, she relayed to us with vivid detail what it means to be a gay student in high school.

Emily shared the hurtful words and acts that often sprout up, making sure that we all understood that pretending away or ignoring the anti-gay jokes and comments heard in school was not only unacceptable but sending a negative message to all students.

Emily made the point that our lack of intervention was telling students that it is not OK to be gay and that it is acceptable for a student to be hateful toward another student who is.

At that moment I knew I had to do more for students like Emily. I realized being a silent bystander was not only hurting people but in essence giving the green light to allow bullying and hatred to continue in my school.

I thought a lot after hearing this 17-year-old girl pour her heart out to people in both educational and administrative roles.

I couldn't help but ask myself if this really was the kind of world that I wanted my own son to grow up in.

What troubled me even more was that some of my colleagues, mentors like me, didn't applaud Emily for her courage in coming forward.

They didn't stand for the ovation at the end of her story and, more strikingly, didn't even acknowledge her speaking. They instead focused on their smartphones.


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[VIDEO] How is ZiZi Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!



How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 

Youth Activisim for a Better Tomorrow

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Warren J. Blumenfeld

It was a brilliantly sunny, though rather cool, mid-June afternoon in Boston. Banners flying, music blasting, people of all walks of life assembled, reuniting, greeting, embracing, kissing, catching up on lives lived in the space between.

The signal was given with a contagious cheer rising from the crowd, and for the next few hours the streets would be theirs:

Dykes on Bikes revving their engines; shirtless muscled young men dancing to a disco beat atop flatbed floats winding their way down the streets; dazzling drag queens in red and gold and silver; the Freedom Trail Marching Band trumpeting the call;

a black-and-white cocker spaniel wearing a sign announcing "DON'T ASSUME I'M STRAIGHT"; lesbian moms and gay dads pushing strollers or walking beside youth of all ages; Gays for Patsy Klein decked out in their finest country duds, two-stepping down the boulevard;

AIDS activists falling to the pavement of those same boulevards in mock death to expose governmental and societal inaction, which is still killing so many; married same-sex couples walking hand in hand;

Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (P-FLAG) proclaiming "WE ARE PROUD OF OUR LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENDER SONS AND DAUGHTERS";

alongside political, social, and service organizations, business and religious caucuses of all stripes and denominations, and of course, bystanders watching the procession, holding court from the sidelines.

And in the midst of this merriment and this protest, the humorous posters and angry placards, the enormous rainbow balloon sculptures arching overhead, and the colorful streamers and glistening "fairy dust" wafting down from open windows, amid the shiny black leather and shimmering lamé,

the multicolored T-shirts and the drab business suits, came the youth, their radiant young faces catching the rays of the sun, marching side-by-side, hand-in-hand, their middle school, high school, and college Gay/Straight Alliance banners waving exaltedly in this storm of humanity, announcing their entry, their solidarity, their feisty outrage, and yes, their pride, chanting

"Two, Four, Six, Eight, Queer is Just as Good as Straight, Three, Five, Seven, Nine, LGBTs are Mighty Fine;" then, gaining intensity, singing, "Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Homophobia Has Got to Go," and then, as if hit by an all-consuming revelation, shouting, "We're Here, We're Queer, We're Not Going Back, We're NOT Going Back, WE'RE NOT GOING BACK!"

And indeed, they will not go back into those dank closets of fear and denial that stifles the spirit and ruins so many lives. Oh, they will physically return to their schools and their homes.

They will continue to study and play sports, to watch movies, listen to their iPods, and write about their days on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.

Some will most likely continue to serve as community organizers, and some will go on to become parents, educators and political leaders once their school days are behind.

The place they will go to, though, is nowhere that can be seen. It is a place of consciousness that teaches those who have entered that everyone is diminished when any one of us is demeaned; that heterosexism, sexism, and bisexual, intersex, and transgender oppression (as well as all the other forms of oppression) have no place in a just society.

From the sidelines of the parade, beginning as a whisper and gaining to a mighty roar of support: "We are so glad you are here," came voices from the crowd.

"We wish we could have done this when we were in grade school and in college," cried others too numerous to count. "Thank you so much for your courage!"


Read the rest

"Pariah Personals" Coming Out Stories by Youth of Color

via GLAAD, by Amita Swadhin

This week, Salon.com teamed up with New America Media to run a series of coming out stories by LGBT youth of color and LGBT immigrant youth. 

Titled "Pariah Personals," the series is inspired by the recently released film "Pariah," a coming-of-age story about an African American teen named Alike, who is embracing her identity as a lesbian. 

The film opened today in New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles with positive reviews.

"Pariah Personals" kicked off on Monday with a piece by GLAAD National People of Color Media Institute participant Jamilah King, news editor for ColorLines. King's story focuses on her process of coming out at age 21 to her single mother, fearful of how her disclosure would affect their relationship. 

She states, "Over the years, I’ve come to understand that 'coming out' is more of a daily commitment than a singular event.

It’s the resolve to live openly and honestly; an affirmation of self-love that needs to be repeated with nearly each encounter.

For my mom and me, it’s been a commitment to at least start a conversation, and to remember the pride we have in one another."

Tuesday's installment featured the story of Jean Melesaine, a Samoan American who struggled to find acceptance within her family once her parents became followers of the Mormon church. 

Melesaine explains that there is room for her identity within her indigenous culture, stating, "Samoans always had two-spirit people in our culture, meaning people who were in touch with both masculine and feminine spirits.

In Samoa they use the terms 'fafa’afine' (like a woman) and 'fafa’atama' (like a man)."  However, once her family converted, Melesaine did not feel that acceptance any longer. 

She states, "One day when I was 5 years old, someone handed me a youth pamphlet. On the cover were young white people with big smiles, dressed in white.

I started flipping through it and reading the passages. There were two things I learned that moment that changed my life.

One, I now had language, a word for what I always thought I was; and two, that I would not enter the kingdom of God." 

This lack of acceptance led her to engage in acts of property theft beginning at age 7, culminating in a jail sentence two weeks before she graduated from high school. 

Now 26, Melesaine is the associate editor and community organizer for Silicon Valley De-Bug, a media collective in San Jose. She states, "Coming out was always like coming home to myself, and at 26, I’m grateful to finally feel at home and I applaud those who are still fighting to find their way home."

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[VIDEO] How is Angel Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!



How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic and/or a link to your own video.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 

How is Laura Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!

How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 

How is Matt Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!



How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 

[VIDEO] How is Shaggy Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!

How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.

Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 

[VIDEO] How is Ke Ke Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!

How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 

[VIDEO] How is Ebony Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!

How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 

Homeless for the Holidays

via GLAAD, by Elana Stone

Did you know that there are approximately 3,800 homeless young people in NYC? Did you also know that 40 percent – or 1,500 – identify as LGBT?

These statistics are important and vital to understanding the epidemic of homelessness for LGBT young people, but statistics won’t let you know what it means to be young, LGBT, and homeless all because your family rejects you for who you are.

Statistics won’t change hearts and minds, but stories will.
                                                                                                              
“I was 15 the first time I got kicked out of my house. My lowest point of trying to make it on the streets was three weeks ago. My girlfriend and I had to sleep on the roof of a building in the Bronx.

It was raining cats and dogs. I let her sleep, and stayed awake to make sure we were safe.”

–Tiffany “Life” Cocco

Homeless for the Holidays is a campaign through the Ali Forney Center to raise awareness about the lives of LGBT youth who are homeless.

Designed to feature a different young person three times a week for the month of December, the campaign illustrates the very real struggle that each of these young people face as part of the larger push to increase funding and access to services and beds for homeless LGBT youth.

The Ali Forney Center’s ED, Carl Siciliano writes, “Every young person deserves to be loved,” which is at the heart of the campaign.

For each of the young people featured in the campaign, Siciliano says, “[C]oming out meant being driven from their homes, denied of love, denied of all economic support, made to suffer utter destitution.

And, shamefully, despite the numbers of such youth across the nation reaching epidemic proportions, their plight has not been at the forefront of the attention of the LGBT community.

Siciliano calls these youth the unsung heroes of the LGBT movement, for having the courage to tell their stories, to come out, and to face such terrible rejection for their honesty.

He asks the question, “How horrible it is that kids are made to experience such brutal abuse, just for being who they are.”

So take a moment and hear these stories. Read about what it means to be young, LGBT and without a place to live.


Read the rest

[VIDEO] How is Ashley Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!




How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign