Queer in Immigration Detention

via HuffPost, by Jonathan Perez

There I stood in South Louisiana Correctional Center, hundreds of miles away from my home in sunny California. Immigration detention means the end of the line for most undocumented immigrants. But I was not worried when or if I would be released. In the first place, I went in there on purpose.

I also knew there were people organizing to get me out, including Dreamactivist, Immigrant Youth Coalition, and people from all over the country. It was part of a "silent action" challenging the Obama administration's immigration policy, which allegedly does not detain undocumented persons without criminal records. But there I was.

After dozens of civil disobedience actions, we learned that Immigration Customs Enforcement (ICE) would not detain us during public events.

We would simply get arrested and go undercover pretending to be the type of immigrant that they usually detain, and not the ones who know their rights and have connections to advocacy groups. But most importantly, we pretended to be afraid.

My home for the next 10 days would now be "Wolf 1," a pod with a dozen grown men from different parts of Latin America. I knew it wasn't going to be easy to adjust but I felt okay about it.

I was there because I needed to organize and help them out in any way I could. We created a team of a couple other detainees that were ready to organize a hunger strike.

We weren't sure exactly how or when it would happen, but we knew we needed a number of issues to focus our efforts around. In the meantime we began to take stories of people who were detained and connected them to their families and immigration attorneys.

We took on deportation cases for those that can be won, like people who have been here for more than ten years, have citizen children, no criminal record and even DREAM Act eligible youth.

But there was always a splinter in my mind, something that always told me to be careful. Although I was detained with a friend who supported me, I knew he could never understand fully what I felt, and much less what I was thinking.

Looking at all the sweating men exercising and running by me only made it harder to ignore. There was Jose from Honduras; he was a father of three and a super nice guy with hazel eyes. He was caught driving without a license, and "Secure Communities" kicked in when he was booked. He was debating whether or not to sign a voluntary removal to get to his family as soon as possible.

One day, I began to think that I maybe I could tell the guys the truth -- that they wouldn't see a problem, since I had gotten to know them and they trusted me. I was wrong!

Dead wrong. As we walked back to our pod after lunch, I noticed two other men just like me on the other side of the fence. I felt relief, and I was glad to know that I was not alone.

But then the taunting began. They were mocked, whistled at, and harassed by the other detainees. They were called names like, "putitas," 'maricones," "jotitas," etc., pretty much different ways of saying faggots. I was shocked at first, and then I became sad.

It took me to a place I had not been to in a long time. It felt like I was in elementary school or middle school again. I was forced to mask my identity with a tough exterior, and had to be careful of what I said and did.

We only saw them when they walked by on their way to their pod, and every time they were ridiculed with enthusiasm by detainees. Their gender expression was more "feminine" than mine.

They were openly queer, and so they became targets. Most people never realized, and therefore didn't make fun of me or hit me. They actually assumed I was just like them.

A few days later, I was transferred to "Wolf 2," an adjacent pod where the two queer men, along with seventy other men were housed. I was afraid.

For all of the times I claimed to be undocumented and unafraid, I was out of my element. But I saw one of the Queer guys walk by 70 beds with his head held up high, with such energy and pride, and it made me feel so ashamed.

Ashamed that I could not do what he did, to be out and proud in a place where everyday there was someone harassing you and trying to put you down.


Read the rest

Queer and Immigrant for the Holidays

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Erwin de Leon

The holidays are meant to be a time of merriment and family, but so can it be disappointing, even depressing, for some.

This time of the year can be especially hard for immigrants who are separated from dear ones overseas.

Many seek the company of compatriots to recreate festivities and meals that evoke their countries of origin.

Most turn to their ethnic congregations for services consistent with their values and traditions.

Queer immigrants, like any other newcomer, can find the holidays tough. But it can also be doubly hard for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender immigrants, as they feel left out not only by the mainstream but by their own families and ethnic communities, which tend to be conservative and unwelcoming of openly LGBT individuals.

"My blood family and I had a contentious relationship due to my political involvement teemed with my sexuality and gender identity," said K, who identifies as queer, transgender, and of Philippine descent.

"Due to this, I was kicked out, homeless, and estranged as a young person from my blood family. This has incited displacement, a painful sense of mobility, and an instability that show itself during holiday time."

Tania, a community organizer at the Immigrant Youth Justice League and coordinator for the LGBTQ Immigrant Rights Project at the Association of Latino Men for Action, says her family has come around.

They are more comfortable with her being out, and she is able to bring her partner home for the holidays.
She nonetheless feels a great loss at this time of the year.

Tania is undocumented. Her parents brought their family over from Mexico 18 years ago when she was only 10 years old.

It is important for her to describe herself as without papers. "That's really an important part of my identity because it's something that has been true for me for most of my life," she said. "It's something that has affected every aspect of how I live."

"It's really difficult to listen to people's plans of traveling at this time to a country where I can't go even if I wish I could," she admitted.

She sorely misses her extended family and laments the fading ties.

"I've lost touch with my family in Mexico, my cousins, my grandparents," she said. "When I talk about Christmas and New Years and Three Kings Day as being family time, it really has only been my immediate family, my mom, my sister, my dad, and myself, plus the few friends and chosen family that have also gathered around us, both from the LGBT community and the immigrant undocumented community."

Many queer immigrants spend the holidays with "chosen families," usually others who share their gender orientation and identity and their struggles in America.


Read the rest

Queer, Undocumented, and Unafraid

via HuffPost Gay voices, by Julio Salgado

When the topic of gay rights arises, gay marriage and Don't Ask, Don't Tell are the go-to issues, but for some of us queers in the United States, immigration rights are a top priority.

For two years, undocumented youth have been coming out of the shadows and using their status to empower themselves and bring attention to the Development, Relief and Education for Minors Act, better known as the DREAM Act.

The 10-year-old piece of legislation, which has seen its share of watered-down adjustments, would give undocumented youth who came to the United States at a young age a path to citizenship if they go to college or join the military.

There have been sit-ins, hunger strikes and countless calls to lawmakers to stop the deportations of undocumented students who have been in this country most of their lives. Oddly enough, a movement within this movement has surfaced.

You see, a lot of the young people at the forefront of this movement also happen to be gay.

Not only are these students proud to scream, "Undocumented and unafraid," but some have challenged the status quo even further by coming out as queer, undocumented and unafraid.

From 2010's Trail of Dreams, where three undocumented youth and a legal U.S. resident walked from Miami, Fla. to Washington, D.C., to the first-ever civil disobedience at the Tucson, Ariz. office of Sen. John McCain, undocumented gay activists have been key movers and shakers in actions that aim to bring attention to the DREAM Act.

At times, they risk death and deportation.

This was the case when Mohammad Abdollahi, who, along with undocumented students Yahaira Carrillo, Tania Unzueta, Lizbeth Mateo and legal U.S. resident Raul Alcaraz, participated in the Tucson action.

Abdollahi, an undocumented gay student from Iran, risked deportation to a country where homosexuality is punished with death.

Undocumented queer activists Carrillo and Unzueta sat next to Abdollahi, and all three contemplated the possibility of being deported to countries they barely remembered.

Not all students have been openly gay from the beginning. Much like the late civil rights leader Bayard Rustin, some queer undocumented activists were asked to downplay their gay identities for the sake of their role in the movement.

Read the rest

When It Comes to Trans Kids, It's Us Who Are Confused

via Advocate, by Diane Ehrensaft

During the past few months, the media has been replete with accounts of both children and adults who do not fit neatly into conventional gender roles: a Canadian baby, Storm, whose parents kept the baby’s gender secret; the child of a prominent celebrity, Chaz Bono, who attracted controversy as a trangender man on primetime television; and two children, Tammy and Mario, who announced to their parents that they were not their biological gender and began living as they wanted to be. 

As a developmental psychologist who spends my days working with both children and young adults who are transgender, gender fluid, gender nonconforming, gender queer, and more, none of these stories has been a surprise to me.

They simply reinforce my observation, made in my book Gender Born, Gender Made, that it is increasingly difficult to define gender as a strict biological binary.  

What took me more by surprise was the ensuing tsunami of hostile, antagonistic, and hateful responses toward both these individuals and, in the children’s cases, their parents. 

In response to Bono’s casting on Dancing With the Stars, Dr. Keith Ablow, psychiatrist and member of the Fox News Medical A-team, offered these words of wisdom: "The last thing vulnerable children and adolescents need, as they wrestle with the normal process of establishing their identities, is to watch a captive crowd in a studio audience applaud on cue for someone whose search for an identity culminated with the removal of her breasts, the injection of steroids.”

For this comment, Albow received 33,000 Facebook recommends. In the eyes of thousands of Americans, it is as though transgender people are a disease that could contaminate and pervert our “normal” children.



Read the rest

Ready to Wed? No, Mom.

via New York Times, By Tim Murphy

For the last year, Aaron Breslow, 23, an H.I.V. project coordinator, has been dating Dan Scudellari, 26, an advertising executive. They have spent holidays with each other’s families, and enjoy searing scallops and making kale salads in their apartments in Brooklyn.

Mr. Breslow's stepmother, Lorraine Gray, wants them to marry.

They were mildly interested when New York lawmakers voted to allow same-sex marriage. Then his stepmother called. “She congratulated me on gay marriage passing and said, ‘This is a great opportunity for you,’ ” Mr. Breslow said.

But there’s a problem: Mr. Breslow, who calls himself queer rather than gay, philosophically opposes marriage. “I don’t understand the concept of legalized monogamy and normalcy,” said Mr. Breslow, who has a brother, Jacob, also gay. “My brother and I both studied queer theory.”

His stepmother, Lorraine Gray, won’t take no for an answer. “I don’t have any girls,” said Ms. Gray, 52, a psychotherapist in Oakland, Calif. Never mind that she also has two other sons, 18 and 22, who are straight. “My gay kids are more fun than my straight ones,” she said.

Read more.

Queer advocacy group says youth being "scapegoated" for Boystown crime

 via GoPride.com

Young black man claims officer told him to go back to the south side....

A new video by a queer rights advocacy group, asserts that youth, particularly young people of color, are being "scapegoated" for the recent increase of reported crimes in Boystown. 

Video Action League says that homeless gay youth have been unfairly blamed for the "purported increase in crime" and that they wanted to give youth a space to "express themselves without the threat of being silenced."

"All the youth that hang around here are getting blamed for it," 24-year-old Cat, a lesbian who is homeless, said of the increased crime in Boystown.

"Our Youth Belong In Boystown," which was posted to YouTube on July 12, 2011, includes interviews with Cat and two African-American men, who have also been shunned by their family and community after coming out gay. 

"When people constantly call the police on me and harass me, it makes me feel less than a person," said Tyrone Strickland, who has been staying in Boystown since leaving his South Side neighborhood when he was 15 years-old.

."It's so important that we advocate for safe spaces for youth that aren't 21 so they have a community they can go to," Lindsey Dietzler, co-founder of the Video Action League, said at the end of the 7 minute video.

Read more.

Like a Tree That’s Planted by the Water

-middle, By Daniel

[Middle passed this wonderful testimony along, saying…]

“My friend Daniel is an inspiration to me.  He’s my co-organizer of the Middle Tennessee OUTsiders, a queer and allies outdoor group,  part of the Nashville Faerie circle as Blanca, and serves the Music City Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence as Sister Deca L'Etage.  Yesterday he chose the occasion of Bastille Day to honor himself and his larger family (blood and otherwise) by coming out to them via Facebook with this, his own declaration of independence.  His tree is planted by deep waters indeed. – middle”

Like a Tree That's Planted by the Water

by Daniel Meney

To my family and friends,

Before the first year of my "adulthood" is over

and while it is still Bastille Day, there is something

I would like to share with you.

I want to tell you what my heart and in turn my mouth

hands have born achingly in silence for twenty years.

I am queer.

I would have told you before now, but through many selfish acts of 

self-preservation it was easier to lie. Now I am moving away from

this economy and culture of fear to one of unconditional love.

A very special person has helped me in this great endeavor.

He has kept my heart, body and mind in the sacred space

that is love for a couple years now. His name is Nicholas.

Many others have helped me along the way. I wouldn't know how 

to love myself the way I am without the love and support of my 

'chosen' family here: friends from my years spent in missions, 

friends from college, and friends from the Radical Faeries, 

especially the NashFae.

I didn't have to come out to all of you. I've been out in Nashville

for several years now and am very comfortable in my own skin, 

but I see a need for those who live in perpetual fear of 

everything, from Muslims to homosexuals, 

to not be babied any more.

This is for them.

Also, here are a few other no-less-small parts of myself

that I want to tell you about:

I am an anarchist, communist and capitalist (in that order).

I am a human being.

I am not afraid.

I will not be moved.

Happy Bastille Day!

Daniel
[photographed above, by Joy McKenzie]

If you have any thoughts or questions, please feel free to

comment.  Please refrain from being theatrical.

There's already enough drama in the world.

It doesn't need adding to.

LifeLube HEARTS our sexuality - do you HEART yours?

Our program focuses on promoting sexual health in young people, which is more than just the absence of diseases like HIV. Being healthy also means having positive romantic relationships and accepting ones sexuality.

The IMPACT Program at the University of Illinois at Chicago announced the release of its new educational campaign entitled “I Heart My Sexuality”. The campaign is a series of videos gathered from interviews in the community that highlight the strengths of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth, instill pride in the community, and tell stories of healthy relationships. The IMPACT team set up a video booth at the 2010 Chicago Pride Festival and Dyke March and asked people to share their stories. The videos were created in partnership with BeyondMedia Education, an award winning non-profit organization dedicated to using media for social change.

According to Dr. Brian Mustanski, the Director of the IMPACT Program, “we created these videos because our research with LGBT young people shows that they want to learn more about healthy same-sex relationships. Our program focuses on promoting sexual health in young people, which is more than just the absence of diseases like HIV. Being healthy also means having positive romantic relationships and accepting ones sexuality.”

The first set of videos, set to launch September 21st 2010, explore relationships, being single, and the important of family and community. With over a hundred interviews of LGBT young people, the videos show a diverse group of people discussing why they “heart” their sexuality.

In addition to videos, the IMPACT team collected nearly two hundred post cards on which people wrote positive and encouraging notes regarding why they love their sexual orientation. The post cards were just released on the IMPACT website, allowing users to review the cards and read the inspiring and sometimes funny messages.

The I Heart My Sexuality campaign will be hosted on the IMPACT program website and YouTube page. Later stages of the campaign will include interviews with same-sex couples and will also be hosted at the IMPACT website. To view the I Heart My Sexuality campaign, check out www.impactprogram.org after September 21st!

The IMPACT Program is in the Institute for Juvenile Research at the University of Illinois at Chicago and conducts translational research on LGBT Health and Development. By “translational,” we mean that we seek to identify health issues, understand factors that put people at risk or protect them, and turn that knowledge into programs that advance the health of LGBT people and communities.

Queer Hopes and Goals for 2010

For the third year in a row artist and writer Ted Kerr's last Queermonton column of the season is a collage of hopes, wishes, goals and resolutions submitted by members of the queer community.

Read previous years: 2009 , 2008

 

In 2010…

I resolve not to forget where I came from and hope that the memory will not stop me from going where I want. 

I will remember that the New Year will be that of construction. I won't second-guess myself so much; I will eat like a champion. I will Internet less, human contact more.

My personal goal is to create more life-affirming art, to lose 30 pounds (one does not need to be the biggest bear in the world), to live more honestly, less in my head, trust myself, to be as couture, colorful, and layered as my drawings and to construct a solid working class discourse that allows for autonomous voices to emerge from a discourse that previously talked down to those people.

My wish is that the queer community would stop fighting itself and focus on combating heteronormativity and hate. For the first ten years of this era, we have dealt with much conflict and turmoil, I only wish 2010 will bring us peace of mind and equality for allI would love to see compassion, creativity, and a strong sense of community flourish in place of blind consumption and unrestrained capitalism. As Alberta moves to the right LGBTQ people must get involved and VOTE. It would be nice to have meaningful relationship that lasts more than three months. 2010 will be all about friends, lovers, art, good cocktails, peace and finding a cure for HIV.

I want more images of queers lying down on the street to resist tanks in the Pride parade, more of the Samarasekera Response Team, more radical queer politics (less talk of gay marriage), more inventive use of public space (less retreat from it), and more civic-mindedness (less individualism).

I want empowered promiscuity, a chance to fuck my enemies, better time management skills, more time spent outside, Bill 44 to be repealed, Gender Reassignment Surgery funding to be reinstated, to get elected, to tease an aerie-faerie aristocratic chitter-chatter out of the bourgeoisie corporate discourse of contemporary consumer culture, to be very busy, to focus focus focus on my work, to keep standing, walking and then running (stopping only to help and breathe), to fully embrace my journey, continue to be proactive in my life and the greater queer community, to affect and seek positive change, to learn how to be more sexually expressive, liberal and how to better communicate, to make some noise, join a parade, and cause some tumult for a good cause, to explore and discover why we need art, why we continue to destroy ourselves (and hug everyone who understands), I want to see the legalization of same-sex marriage in California, I would like to graduate and continue my education in hopes of becoming a prominent gay broadcaster in Canada, to have more passionate, engaging and fun sex with my spouse, to embrace a more holistic view of health and get back into cooking and church. I want a new underground / above ground home for queer kids (of all ages) to dance to mid 90s hip-hop, R&B and Lady Gaga.

I want another year as good as 2009 was. I want to heal.

I hope to see more public displays of dissent and outrage in response to terrible decisions and policies in Alberta. The Crash has already happened in many places around the world, I hope next year The Crash happens here and then we'll all have to start community gardens and learn how to can. One can only hope, and work towards educating the populace on why they need to be angry and afraid of Section 9 of Bill 44. I love the way Edmonton’s queer community has galvanized this past year, my sincere hope for 2010 is that we build on this momentum - Queer Summit anyone? hope all Canadians may express themselves freely and openly by DANCING THEIR ASSES OFFF through out the next year.

I hope love becomes a greater part in peoples' lives, that we learn to not only love each other more, but ourselves as well.

I hope for the return of that certain someone that stole my heart from Toronto- he had to run for his life from his homeland because of his lifestyle. I hope that the lives of queers living in developing countries with homophobic policies are made significantly better in 2010. (I don't live there and can't know what "better" would look like, so that's all I'll say). I hope we continue to infuse queer mainstream with the diverse queer voices of different cultures around the world, to be proud of our heritages and to let our histories empower our voices. I hope my parents will hear about their son doing something queer and wonderful and will come to show their support. I hope my father will accept me when I confront him about my 8-year secret of being gay. I hope to be a part of a parent support group for school aged children that have gay/lesbian parents and are subjected to bullying. I hope people become kinder and less fearful and that ’80s techno pop makes a comeback. I hope we survive the bureaucratic nonsense of the Australian immigration department.

I hope 2010 will bring authentic healing to our community, that we'll be good to each other, supportive of each other, and become more of who we are truly meant to be. I hope I feel less hopeless a year from now than I do today- pleasant surprises would be welcome.

I feel ready to begin.

Damski X 4 Book Release Party

Come celebrate the publication of four new books by the late Jon-Henri Damski on Sunday, November 1 at 4 pm. Gerber/Hart Library 1127 West Granville Avenue Chicago, (773) 381-8030

Damski X 4 will mark the release of Nothing Personal: Chronicles of Chicago's LGBTQ Community, 1977–1997, Fresh Frozen: First Chicago Poems, My Blue Monk: Poems from Blood and Sugar, and Eat My Words: More Chicago Poems from the 70s. All of the books are published by The Firetrap Press Collective and will be available for purchase at the event.

Damski X 4 will feature readings from Damski's works and the presentation of the annual Jon-Henri Award. The award was established by Lori Cannon and Richard Cooke to recognize and honor an individual who leads his or her life with an ethic and spirit that Damski would have respected and enjoyed.

Jon-Henri Damski was an essayist, newspaper columnist, poet, teacher, and community activist in Chicago's LGBTQ community from the mid-1970s until the late 1990s. At the time of his death in 1997 following a long battle with melanoma, he was the longest-running columnist in the American LGBTQ press.

He was also instrumental in the 1988 passage of the Chicago Ordinance on Human Rights. In 1991, Damski was part of the first class of inductees into the Chicago Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame.

Resist the Gay Marriage Agenda!

We write this feeling as if we have to grab our community back from the clutches of the gay marriage movement. We’re frightened by its path and its incessant desire to assimilate.

by queerkidssaynomarriage
via Queer Kids of Queer Parents Against Gay Marriage!


It’s hard for us to believe what we’re hearing these days. Thousands are losing their homes, and gays want a day named after Harvey Milk. The U.S. military is continuing its path of destruction, and gays want to be allowed to fight. Cops are still killing unarmed black men and bashing queers, and gays want more policing. More and more Americans are suffering and dying because they can’t get decent health care, and gays want weddings. What happened to us? Where have our communities gone? Did gays really sell out that easily?

... The question of universal healthcare is urgent to queers because large groups of people inside our communities face incredible difficulty and violence receiving medical care, such as trans people who seek hormone treatment or surgery, people who are HIV positive, and queer and trans youth who are forced to live on the street. Instead of equalizing access to health care, marriage rights would allow a small group of people who have partnered themselves in monogamous configurations to receive care. If we accept the marriage agenda’s so-called solution, we’ll leave out most of our community.

 Read the rest.

How is Buck Angel Healthy?

To become happy and healthy, I had to start by loving myself first and foremost, learning that I had to take my life into my own hands and not rely on everyone else telling me how I had to be.

I had to overcome a very bad drug and alcohol problem,and then went to therapy to deal with my gender issues. I started working out, getting my body into shape and becoming what I was meant to be. As I grew as an individual I started feeling stronger about myself. I finally began to live life for myself and not for anyone else.

-- Buck Angel
Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico


How are you healthy?
Join in the conversation.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign.

Who's that Queer?

Brought to you by Pistol Pete

Moran "Margaret" Cho is an American comedian, fashion designer, actress, author, gay icon, and recording artist. Cho is best known for her stand-up routines, through which she critiques social and political problems, especially those pertaining to race, sexuality, and sex. She has also directed and appeared in music videos and has developed own clothing line. Cho is a political advocate and has frequently voiced her support LGBT rights and has won awards for her humanitarian efforts on behalf of women, Asians, and the LGBT community.

Cho's comedy routines are often explicit. She has covered substance abuse, eating disorders, her bisexuality and obsession with gay men, and Asian-American stereotypes, among other subjects in her stand up. Matching her outspoken nature, her material also features commentary on politics and contemporary American culture. In addition to her shows, Cho also developed an additional outlet for her advocacy with the advent of Margaretcho.com and her daily weblog.

A substantial segment of her material and advocacy addresses gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender issues. When San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom directed that San Francisco's city hall issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples in San Francisco in 2004 (until reversed by the state supreme court), Cho started Love is Love is Love, a website promoting the legalization of gay marriage in the United States.

Cho has also been outspoken about her dislike of former President George W. Bush. She began to draw intense fire from conservatives over her fiercely anti-Bush commentary. During one of her live performances in Houston, Texas, conservative groups threatened to picket outside of her show. Although protesters never arrived, she held a counter protest outside the club until security told her she had to go inside.


In 2008, Cho officially gave her support to Illinois Senator Barack Obama for the nomination on the Democratic ticket for the 2008 U.S. presidential race. After Republican Presidential candidate John McCain announced his running-mate, Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska, Cho said of Palin, "I think [Palin] is the worst thing to happen to America since 9-11."

On her recent July 20th, 2009 visit to the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Cho explained that she is not lesbian nor bi, but "I" because she wants everyone to like her and be with her.

I Hear What You Are Saying

Reflecting on how we as gay men converse together...



by Ted Kerr
[check out his queer polaroids]

Who gets to disagree with perceived progress within gay communities?

Sitting in a workshop entitled Bringing Sexy Back at the recent National LGBTI Health Summit in the US, the room was engaged largely in a sexy conversation on the semantics on how much they agreed that polyamory should be re-welcomed back into queer culture until one young man swam against the verbal current of the room and stood up for monogamy. The 30 or so people gathered at the session were respectful of him but you could feel even the air in the room seemed to pity him after he spoke.

We live in an age still influenced by homophobia, AIDS phobia and intolerance of difference that leaves gay men to explain to society including the medical profession, the government and the media what they do with their bodies. This tension to report adds stress to conversations within gay communities regarding topics such as barebacking, and polyamory relations. These internal conversations are further troubled by what a friend pointed out to me during the summit, there has been the intellectualization of queer (ness) and AIDS that has emerged in the last 20 years. In light of this I think there is a sense of surveillance within these conversations people are careful to be credible, wanting to be able to justify and validate what they are saying.

In a way, gone is discussion steeped in first person experiences and feelings, in place are theories, and stats. In a way this move towards intellectualizing queer (ness) has benefited progressive thinkers who can reach for academia and queer theory to help back up what they are saying. What I am noticing during many discussion is that largely it is conservative voices that are at a disadvantage since many of them are basing their positions in the personal- their values, their experiences, and their fears. In the face of cool, calm, backed-up, liberal voices, conservative voices often come across as misguided and/or ineffectual. This has got me thinking about the question; who gets to disagree with perceived progress within gay communities?

In theory the answer is everyone is able to disagree. But I think that this is not entirely true. I think that it takes a large amount of social and supportive capital to disagree or share conservative values within the gay/queer context. This capital I mention is what provides someone with the confidence to stand up for what they believe in and know they will be supported if they are ostracized within the discussion. Capital is also the confidence of knowing that you could be right.

I also think that for the most part conservative voices within the gay/queer context come from marginalized communities from within and so are further disadvantaged. The politics of oppression come into play and conservative voices are labeled, judged as being reactionary or to a degree homophobic. Because gay men are being attacked en mass for issues concerning what they do with their body if voices within the gay community then also question what other gay men do with their bodies they are seen as being a voice of the oppressed and are seen to be homophobic and oppressive themselves.

If we step back we can see that there is a thin line between what the majority may be judging gay men for and what gay men may be questioning themselves. But there is a line and as gay men we have the opportunity to question and converse among ourselves about what we do.

I think again about the young man in the Sexy Back session. Sitting there it was obvious that he was overwhelmed by what he was hearing. You could see that notions of sexual liberation 2.0 were bruising the very foundations he had built his gay identity on. In a way coming up and out as gay is for some a series of negotiations of self-acceptance as well as hand picking which lies, myths and truths about the gay experience you are willing to deal with.

For the most part these lies, myths and truths center on promiscuity. In the shadow of AIDS-as-a-crisis there is a mainstream judgment of gay men who have many sexual partners as irresponsible and at the same time there is a fetishization of perceived slutdom both within the gay community and from the straight community. There is a sense for some gay men that having many sexual partners is expected. The young man in the Sexy Back session mentioned this pressure and alluded to the internal work he has had to do to find the truth of the matter for himself along with finding his own personal comfort around articulating that monogamy is important to him. He did not have intellectually rigorous arguments to back himself up. He had his morals and his upbringing to guide him.

I return to the thin line and suggest that for the young man sitting in the Sexy Back room the act of a gay man sleeping around because he feels that society expects it of him and a gay man sleeping around because he wants to looks the same- and maybe it is. The room although respectful of difference was also obviously frustrated with him and his point of view.

I couldn’t help but think that we often confuse localized, internal, focused, conversations about ourselves with larger issues around defying or craving legitimacy from society at large. So engrained in some queer men’s minds are their desires to either oppose or accept mainstream legitimacy that all issues funnel into their relationship with society. Sometimes when we are talking about monogamy or barebacking that is all we are taking about. Maybe we do a disservice by always bringing in a holistic worldview. Sometimes smaller is better.

In the end, in an era where many men bemoan the lack of ‘community’ it is incumbent on us to hear out diverse and opposing voices. While community is built on people coming together it is congealed by diversity and opposing dynamics. Tension creates bonds if respected. As gay men we do not need to justify our actions. We do have an opportunity to silence the surveillance and have conversations among ourselves and be there for each other to see other points of view.

More Queer Polaroids

Courtesy of Ted Kerr and his "One on One" project.

www.tedkerr.org

[we will feature more of these wonderful polaroids over the coming weeks - thanks ted! see the first installment.]

Polaroid Moments Reveal Queerness is Alive and Well

[LifeLube met the wonderful Ted Kerr from Edmonton Alberta at the 2009 National LGBTI Health Summit - and he shared some of his amazing work with us ....]

One on One started off as an attempt to queer and comment on the commodification of the gay male body but then evolved into something better—frank conversation between queer men about our bodies and what we do with them.

It almost always happened the same way; the guy would come over, we would both be nervous, I would be unbrave in asking them what I wanted for the photo and they would be unsure about how far they were willing to go. As we began talking both of us would loosen up and soon trust was born, truths were flying, pants were dropping and Polaroids were developing.

For me it is interesting how Polaroids have always been a way that queer dudes could make their own porn - and at the same time as the future of Polaroid was most unstable, so too in-the-face of perceived homo-normalization, was the idea of queerness. While doing One on One I learned that there are many attempts to save the continuation of Polaroid film, and that queerness is alive and well.

www.tedkerr.org

[we will feature more of these wonderful polaroids over the coming weeks - thanks ted!]

Who's that Queer? Peaches!

Brought to you by Pistol Pete

You may recognize her as the stylish, loud, electro-clash rock-chic, but before she became Peaches, Merrill Beth Nisker (born 1968 in Toronto, Canada) was an elementary school music and drama teacher. The electronica musician whose songs are notable for use of explicitly sexual lyrics plays her own instruments for her songs, programs her own electronic beats, and produces her own albums. Oh, and let’s not forget her ability to rock a mullet and look darn good doin’ it! That’s an accomplishment in itself.

Gender identity is a constant subject of Peaches' music, as she has suffered from gender identity issues since childhood, and often plays with traditional notions of gender role representation. Her lyrics and live shows consciously blur the distinction between male and female; in 2003 she appeared on the cover of her album Fatherfucker with a full beard. She disputes accusations of "penis envy," preferring the term “hermaphrodite envy”, as she was determined by her physician to have "undescended testicles" in 1995. More recently, she has announced her belief that, “there is so much male and female in us all.”

She released her first album, Fancypants Hoodlum, under the name Merrill Nisker in 1995, and subsequently developed the style and persona that would take her to international fame as Peaches. Her songs have been featured in movies such as Mean Girls, Waiting..., Jackass Number Two, My Little Eye, and Lost in Translation. Her music has also been highlighted on television shows such as Showtime's The L Word and NBC’s Ugly Betty. Peaches performed guest vocals on Pink's album Try This, on the song "Oh My God," and on the Chicks on Speed album 99 Cents, on the song "We Don't Play Guitars."

Peaches’ live background band, The Herms (short for hermaphrodites) was formed in the spring of 2006. They played at small and large venues alike with sex and sex-related themes as the "shock factor" for the audience. "Herms" is also a reference to the 1970's duo Peaches & Herb, and blending of the words “her” and “him.

For her fourth album, 2006's Impeach My Bush, Peaches enlisted guest musicians Joan Jett, Greg Kurstin, Josh Homme, Samantha Maloney, Beth Ditto, Feist, Dave Catching, Brian O'Connor and Radio Sloan to perform on several of the tracks. Her most recent album, I Feel Cream, was released on May 4, 2009 in Europe and May 5 in North America. The first single from the project is a double A-side of "Talk to Me" and "More”.

Source: Wikipedia

How is Pete Subkoviak healthy?

Oh, I’ve done all the regular ole health stuff like working out, taking in copious amounts of sleep and trying to eat lots of veggies, but that stuff never really made me feel healthy, because I was never happy with myself. Being healthy didn’t really come until I became comfortable with and confident in whom I am, realizing that being unique and independent is a good thing, and standing out in this world works to one’s advantage.

I don’t fit into traditional boxes, and for a long time I felt this was my greatest weakness. I thought (thanks in good part to a Catholic upbringing!) that I needed to be “normal” to lead a happy and successful life and that faulty belief hampered me for a very long time. I’ve always been very masculine, but as a transgender man I’ll never fit some people’s definition of male, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I have a hint of faggotry in me. And even worse, I had a lot of good stuff to offer: I’m humorous, reasonably intelligent, and an aspiring do-gooder. All this would go to waste, I assumed, because conventional wisdom held that I was abnormal.

It’s only lately that I’ve come to this conclusion: fuck that! I’ll never be totally male or female, gay or straight, but I know what I am and what I’m not. I am a man and I am bisexual, and there are people out there that will hire me, befriend me and love me as is. And so it turns out the faulty beliefs I held were the only thing holding me back from the true happiness, healthiness and great possibilities of life.

-- Pete Subkoviak
Chicago

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Announcing (bum bum bum ba!) the Trans Gynecology Access Program

by Riley Johnson

Are you a transmasculine, butch, or genderqueer person dragging your feet on visiting the gynecologist?

We get it - we've been there.

Rarely do women, let alone transmasculine, butch or genderqueer people, look forward to their yearly gynecology exam. For trans people, that feeling of dread at the mention of a pap smear can be compounded by bad experiences with past providers, the preference that certain body parts didn’t exist, or just the strangeness of walking into a gynecology office with facial hair.

Announcing (bum bum bum ba!) the Trans Gynecology Access Program (TGAP), a new joint endeavor between Chicago Women's Health Center and the Queer People’s Health Collective. The goal is to break down the many barriers faced by transmasculine communities when accessing gyne care. Features of the program are a client/provider team approach to making health care decisions, emphasis on preventative care methods, such as safer sex and harm reduction, and the integration of alternative medicine as an option when appropriate. As part of a peer based model of care, TGAP clients have the option of being accompanied by a transman health educator during any portion of the gynecological exam. If a referral is needed, we’ve worked to collect a list of providers who treat trans people with respect and dignity.

As a program founded by transfolks and allies for the transmasculine community, TGAP strives to be community-driven, and the feedback of our clients will continue to inform our practices and our programs. Questions, comments, and suggestions encouraged!

To schedule an appointment with TGAP, please call CWHC at 773.935.6126 and ask for a TGAP appointment, or if preferred, you are more than welcome to schedule a gynecology appointment outside the TGAP program as well. Appointments will take place at CWHC: 3435 N. Sheffield Avenue, Suite 206A in Chicago.

Flexible sliding scale fees are available for all services.

For more information about TGAP, please contact Riley at info@qphc.org

Coming soon- a logo contest for this program!

What is a gay icon anywho?

LifeLube recommends:

Judy, Barbra, Liza—And Little Edie

How the 'Grey' ladies, and their ilk, became the gays' ladies.

If you're a friend of Dorothy, are you duty-bound to idolize Judy Garland? If you're not the marrying kind, are you genetically predisposed to find Joan Crawford a role model? And if you bat for the other team, why should an adaptation of a 34-year-old documentary about two crazy-cat ladies living in a crumbling, raccoon-infested Hamptons pile send shivers of ecstasy up and down your hotblooded homo spine?

Read the rest, by Alan Cumming, on Newsweek.