The BEST of Lifelube - "Let's Take a Glass Together" - The Podcast is Served From Tuesday, July 29, 2008

"Let's Take a Glass Together" - The Podcast is Served

UPDATE 7/30 - Chicago Gay Examiner blogger Michael Lehet - a new and wonderful pal of LifeLube and Project CRYSP - attended our forum last week and took copious notes, basically a transcript or "live blog" - capturing pretty much the entire discussion. Check it out.








Last Wednesday (7/23), Project CRYSP and LifeLubeteamed up with the Feast of Fools, Sidetrack, the Chicago Task Force on LGBT Substance Use and Abuse* and four PHENOMENAL speakers to put on a community forum addressing our relationship to alcohol - with a wide ranging discussion from how to avoid a hangover, to how to tell when your use may be slipping to abuse, to our collective responsibility to care for ourselves and one another. About 80 folks joined usfor a really great conversation - perhaps the first of its kind, but definitely not the last.

Click here for the Feast of Fools podcast. Download it and listen while you work out, work it, work your voodoo, or just work.

Enjoy LifeLube's photo set from the evening.

Enjoy the Feast of Fools' photo set (some of which are featured in this post - thanks Rick and Fausto.)

Suit Claims Gay Inmates Denied Access to Rehab

via Advocate, by Julie Bolcer

The Riverside County, Calif. jail system’s policy of separating gay inmates from the general population effectively bars them from accessing a drug rehabilitation program, a lawsuit alleges.

The Los Angeles Times reports on the suit filed by Michael Lamar Salomonson of Palm Springs. A chronic methamphetamine user, he was arrested and charged with burglarizing a home last year.

He was sent to a residential substance abuse program at the Banning detention center instead of a receiving a two-year jail sentence.

“But sheriff’s officials refused to enroll Salmonson in the program,” according to the Times. “Under jail policy, inmates who enter into county jails and disclose they are gay are placed into protective custody and separated from the general jail population.”

The attorney for Salmonson said inmates in protective custody are routinely unable to access the rehab program.

The suit does not challenge the policy of placing gay inmates in protective custody, but it seeks to make sure gay inmates in protective custody are accepted into the rehab program.

Sheriff’s Chief Dep. Jerry Gutierrez, supervisor of the county jails, said inmates are housed together in the intense six-month treatment program, which limits the service to the general population.

Officials want to avoid the “volatile situation” that could be created by enrolling protective custody inmates, a population that also includes individuals with “medical disabilities, victims of jail assaults and inmates convicted of sexually assaulting children.”

The program could be expanded if enough protective custody inmates qualify for rehab, he told the Times.


Read the rest

Mark S. King: Can I blame gay culture for my drug addiction, please?

via My Fabulous Disease, by Mark S. King

After a lifetime of sporadic, recreational drug use, I became a full-blown crystal meth addict ten years ago, and then eventually got clean and sober in January of 2009. But why would I, or anyone as engaged in life as I was, morph into a drug addict?

It seemed an unlikely turn of events for a gay advocate and outspoken community leader living with HIV. Was my drug addiction some sort of post-traumatic stress from the AIDS horror show of the 1980’s?

Maybe it pre-dated AIDS, and resulted from the stress and shame of growing up gay. It’s easy to understand why anyone who came of age believing they were perverted (and going straight to hell) might need a stiff drink. Research indicates that gay men and lesbians are more likely to smoke, drink and use drugs. Was I born this way, GaGa?

Gay Men and Substance abuseSo I was immediately drawn to the new book, Gay Men and Substance Abuse: A Basic Guide for Addicts and Those Who Care for Them. I thought the book might bolster my hypothesis that I was a victim of gay culture and doomed from the start.

Because, my dear friends, even after more than two years living clean and sober, I still jump at the chance of blaming my behavior on something other than myself.

Alas, the book is a helpful, informative guide but it doesn’t let me off the hook. It hasn’t the least bit of interest in finger pointing. Instead, it offers practical information and advice about addiction, treatment, relapse and recovery – written specifically for gay men and their families. I would strongly recommend it for gay lovers or allies trying to understand the addiction and recovery process, and required reading for those working in the field.

Read the rest.

Um, meth does not equal death, m'kay?

Letter to the Editor, via Windy City Times

Meth madness

2010-02-24

To the editor:

We are writing to counter the recurring and disturbing community discussion of crystal-meth use by gay men in Chicago.

The unfortunate and inaccurate message that "Meth = Death" characterizes this discussion.

Fact: Approximately 90 percent to 95 percent of gay men in Chicago don't use crystal methamphetamine.

Fact: Health Department research indicates that crystal use has decreased. Among hundreds of men surveyed, 4 percent said they recently used it ( as compared to 10 percent of those surveyed five years ago ) .
Fact: National and local data indicate that only a minority of people who try a drug, including potent drugs like methamphetamine, go on to become regular users and/or dependent.

Fact: Of the small ( but important nonetheless ) percentage of Chicago gay men who are addicted to crystal, and are experiencing health and financial crises, relationship problems, and legal difficulties, most of them won't die.

Meth does not equal death.

Should we continue to challenge the allure of substances and behaviors that keep us as a community from being our best? Yes. Should we promote messaging that seeks to promote health and wellness? Yes. Can we have community dialogue and get each others‚ attention without over sensationalizing? We can and we must.

Why not emphasize our community's courage and resilience in spending the past five years tackling this issue and our accomplishments in reducing use?

Misleading and deceptive communications on such an important matter do not serve our collective physical, mental, spiritual or sexual health needs. They don't enlighten. Telling the truth is essential, involves nuance, and our community deserves no less.

For those who use the drug problematically, treatment is available and recovery is possible. Chicago has a wealth of resources to help gay men addicted to crystal, including programs at Howard Brown Health Center, Haymarket Center and Valeo at Lakeshore Hospital. Additionally, there are groups like Crystal Meth Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous that offer important support to people who want to get and stay sober.

Crystal meth is an issue of concern for those who use the drug, for those who love them, and for the community which is their home. Chicago remains committed to helping these people receive the support they need to minimize harms, reduce use or quit altogether.

Signed,
Project CRYSP ( LifeLube's momma)
projectcrysp@gmail.com

-------

Also in the Windy City Times, another item of interest:
Drug Task Force Starts Website

In a meeting held Feb. 17 at the Chicago Department of Public Health ( CDPH ) , 333 S. State, the Chicago Task Force on LGBT Substance Use and Abuse announced that it has started a Web site that functions as an information repository.

The Web site, www.ChicagoLGBTSubstance.com , has several pages, including "Body, Mind, & Soul," which discusses emotional and mental health in addition to the physical; "Substances," which tackles alcohol, opiates and tobacco, among other drugs; and "Chicago Services," which provides a list of references and agencies that aid in drug treatment, but which also includes a chat room.

Read the rest.

"I Lost My Impulse For Self-Preservation"

This powerful testimonial comes via Atlantic Online, a reader writes to The Daily Dish


Excerpt:

Eventually, I partied with nothing but meth. I lost my job on Wall Street and used my severance package to live a life of meth and sex. Meth gave me the artificial delusion that I was deeply and passionately connected to my sexual partners - a feeling I found nearly impossible to feel when I was sober. And even if I got rejected while on meth, I didn't feel it. I could move on to my next partner and any rejection was a distant memory. Meth freed me from those nagging feelings of self-doubt and self-hatred I had suffered since I was a child. It was far more powerful and seemingly effective than years of therapy and anti-depressants.

Read the whole item.

Sayonara crystal?

Have Gay Men Conquered The Crystal Menace?
via The Daily Dish, by Andrew Sullivan

This kind of success story doesn't get much media play - certainly not as much as hysterical stories about "Super-AIDS" (remember that in the NYT?) or diagnoses of dysfunction and gloom among gay men. But it's real. And it makes me proud of my community, and its capacity to drag itself out of trouble with tenacity and compassion.

Read the rest.
[ps - this article talks about decreased rates of crystal meth use among gay men in ny and la - but, fyi, rates in chicago have also fallen]

The "Work-In" - 12-step Recovery Myths

by Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube (though he has been on va-k for awhile) --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

12 Step Recovery Myths

Many people hesitate to try 12 step programs or avoid them altogether because of some the myths they hear about them. I have to admit I don’t blame them. Some of the things we hear are scary. Well today I hope to dispel some of these myths. Granted some hardcore 12 steppers may get upset but my aim is not to offend anyone. Trust me I think 12 step program are a vital part of creating a strong foundation for your recovery. It definitely worked/works for me and millions of other people.

In the book Powerfully Recovered, author Ann Wayman put it this way, “Telling people who have little, if any, experience with success, that they can never successfully recover guarantees that many of them will never even try. Insisting that people who already feel powerless must adopt an attitude of perpetual powerlessness in order to let go of their addiction means many of them will refuse to even attempt to work the Program.”


Here are some myth buster from Drug Addiction and Recovery Series - 12 Step Meeting Myths and Realities by Ravi Jaya on February 15, 2009

Myth: Go to 90 Meetings in 90 Days

On the surface, it sounds like there is nothing wrong with this advice right? However, there are a number of problems with following this recommendation. First, what are you going to do if you don’t make 90 meetings in 90 days? Is this unrealistic goal going to set you up for failure? If you make 100 meetings in 90 days, is a monument going to be built for you? What does this goal accomplish? Why the arbitrary number of 90? Is there something special about this number?

While it is good to have discipline while working a program of recovery, this type of discipline will only set you up for failure. As human beings, our lives are incredibly complex where we are balancing time for a job, relationships and family. Sometimes, situations come into our lives where we might miss a meeting or two. And, if you do happen to meet a meeting or two, it is OK as long as you are consistently working the 12 steps and have your own connection to your higher power.

Also, if you are 100 percent reliant on meetings to keep you sober, what is going to happen when you can’t get to a meeting? The answer is that you will probably end up using drugs again. It is imperative that you build and find the tools within yourself and through your higher power to keep you sober.

Myth: Take Your Time to Work the 12 Steps

This is one of the biggest untruths that is perpetuated in our programs of recovery. There is a popular saying, “We didn’t get sick overnight, and we won’t get well overnight.” While it is true that you will most likely not get well literally overnight, you will get well as fast as you work the steps. I knew a man who worked the steps in 15 days, and his spiritual recovery took literally 15 days. Most people do not work the steps this fast, however; there is nothing wrong with working the steps this quickly. In the early days of the 1930’s when the steps were first being practiced, most people did the steps in a few days. Your sponsor would stay on top of you until you were done. That is why we had such high recovery rates back then: people ensured that people who were new to recovery did the necessary work to stay sober, and in fact, the steps were a necessary task to be completed for you to be included in the fellowship.

“If you read Dr. Bob's story, in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, it becomes clear he worked the then Six Steps in an afternoon and evening! (The original six steps contain all f the now 12 – they were broken up to provide more manageable chunks). The founders and old timers knew it was imperative that the addict had to take massive personal action to effect the needed changes. The Steps, including Step 4 are a solid plan for taking the action necessary to recover.” (Powerfully Recovered, Anne Wayman, Second Edition 2000)

Myth: I Have Years of Sobriety and Am Still Powerless and My Life Is Still Unmanageable

The first step of recovery talks about how we are powerless over drugs and how our lives have become unmanageable, and early on before you work the steps, this is true. The original 12 step text, details how we are when we are still getting drunk and loaded, and what happens when we try and quit on our own. These descriptions of us are right on the money and show how powerless and unmanageable we were.

However, the whole point of us working the steps is that we can gain some power in our lives and that our lives can become more manageable again. The first step points out how our lives have become powerless and unmanageable, the second step shows us that we can believe in our own higher power, and then the third step turns the management of our lives over to that higher power that we chose in the second step. After you perform a third step, your life is no longer unmanageable because your life is now being managed by your higher power. Yes, I know that it sounds strange, although after you try it, you understand that it really works.

For more myth busters and a better understanding of what I am trying to get at with this blog post today I high recommend reading Powerfully Recovered, Anne Wayman, Second Edition 2000. Choosing to stop acting out on our dysfunction/addiction take power and will which we all have. RECLAIM YOUR POWER AND WILL!

(Usual disclaimer applies, with emphasis: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

Don’t forget that September is National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month. The 2009 theme, “Join the Voices for Recovery: Together We Learn, Together We Heal.” See what's happening near you RecoveryMonth.gov

Visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to read daily motivations visit http://backtothebasicsplease.com/wordpress

If you are not sure how to begin your work-in or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at thework-in@hotmail.com, I will response as soon as I can.

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

The "Work In" - My Past Life (part 2 of 2)

Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube (though he has been on va-k for awhile) --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

I want to thank everyone for the awesome comments and emails I received about last week’s post and welcoming me back. This week I tell you about the journey to where I am today.


…This was beginning of the end of my past life. (read all of Part 1 here.)

I spent two weeks in Cook County Jail, where I pretty much detoxed. I slept though the first couple of days, just waking up at chow time. As I started to snap out the exhaustion, everything I was running from when I was getting high; the shame, guilt, anger and sorrow, hit me like a Mac truck. Those years of partying flashed before my eyes, and not in a good way. It got to the point where I felt suicide would be the only way out. I wouldn’t wish that kind of feeling on my worst enemy. That’s how painful it was. Of course, all those “friends” I thought I had, were gone. Once the drugs and money were gone, so was the crowd. Next thing I knew, I had no one. And that’s one of the worst feelings ever.

I was blessed with two amazing lawyers. I don’t know where they came from or what they saw in me. One month I was looking at some jail time because of my previous criminal record. Then the next month it was lessoned to probation, coupled with an intensive outpatient program, if I pled guilty. If that wasn’t a sign that my Higher Power gave me a second chance, then I don’t know what is.

So, a week before I had to begin my probation and program I figured, “What the hell, it’s Market Days, ‘Illinois's largest two-day street fair’, one last party weekend can’t hurt.” On Sunday August 15, 1999 I set out for my last hoorah. At the end of the night I wound up in a jail cell in Lockport, IL, which is an hour south of Chicago - don’t ask. This was definitely the last day of my past life. I have been drug and alcohol free since that day ten years ago.

The beginning of my new journey began with me attending an intensive out-patient substance abuse program and 12 Step Recovery meetings. I had gone to many A.A. meetings and worked my steps for the first three years, but I still wasn’t getting what I was looking for. What that was, I didn’t even know, but I did know that I just wasn’t getting it. I had a conversation with a friend about how I was feeling. He told me, “Ed, you should check out the Warriors. They really helped change my life.” I thought to myself, “What the hell is he talking about?” He went on to explain to me what a difference the ManKind Project had made in his life. I became excited as I heard him tell me his story. As I listened to him, I saw in my head what “it” was; this is what I was looking for, and this was what I needed in my life. Within the next few weeks a couple of other men told me damn near the same story about MKP. The scary part was that none of these guys knew each other. Was it just a coincidence or was it Divine intervention? I wasn’t going to chance it, so after the last conversation I went online and signed up for their weekend adventure.

About a week later I receive a call from one of the weekend staff members. He asked me, “What are you looking for? What do you want?”

At first I was stunned, then I answered, “I am looking for me.”

On the first day of the weekend we were ushered into a large tent while we waited for everyone to arrive. As I sat there, I could see and feel the fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, and frustration as I looked around at the other men in the tent. None of us knew what was going to happen next. I felt a lot of fear and joy; joy that my new journey had just begun and fear of the unknown. What did I just get myself into?

The next 48 hours were filled with all kinds of exercises. I learned how to face my fears by putting them in front of me. I was taken all the way back to my childhood so that I see how and where those fears came from. I was taught how to identify my shadows, confront them and keep them in front of me, so that I can control them and not let my shadows control me. I learned the true meaning of holding myself accountable for my own actions, therefore, holding others accountable for their actions. The best, and most important, lesson I learned during that weekend was how to trust other men so that I will not be afraid or ashamed to ask them for help when I need it. The last day of the weekend I became a “Man Among Men”, a “New Age Warrior”. The looks on all of the men’s faces were totally opposite from Friday night. As I looked around this time I saw joy, strength, enlightenment, trust and a sense of calmness in every man’s eyes. This was one of the best feelings I have ever felt. The next step of my journey was to be a part of an integration group, a group of men that continue to share the work that we learned on our weekend. My work is an on going process; and I have learned to trust that process.

bed of clouds silhoutte, originally uploaded by moemoechi.

I continue to work on my sobriety and my mind and soul. I am not part of the “norm”, nor do I ever want to be. I am unique. I know that I am still going to make mistakes and piss people off from time to time, but I will constantly look for ways to improve myself by going inside of myself to see what needs work. My continued work on myself will help me to be there 110 % for my family, friends, those around me, and those that will stumble down the path long after I’m gone.

I must now share my gold, my gift.

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don’t forget  that September is National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month. The 2009 theme, “Join the Voices for Recovery: Together We Learn, Together We Heal.” See what's happening near you RecoveryMonth.gov



To read daily motivations visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to receive daily motivations via email join our Google group Back To The Basics Please .

If you are not sure how to begin your work-in or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at thework-in@hotmail.com, I will response as soon as I can.

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

The "Work In" - My Past Life

Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube (though he has been on va-k for awhile) --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

September is National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month

The 2009 theme, “Join the Voices for Recovery: Together We Learn, Together We Heal,”

“The Recovery Month observance highlights the societal benefits of substance abuse treatment, lauds the contributions of treatment providers and promotes the message that recovery from substance abuse in all its forms is possible. The observance also encourages citizens to take action to help expand and improve the availability of effective substance abuse treatment for those in need. Each year a new theme, or emphasis, is selected for the observance.”

RecoveryMonth.gov

I figured what better way to kick off Recovery Month and the return of the Work-in posts than by sharing my story of recovery.

My Past Life

Part 1 of 2

I began drinking at an early age at family parties. The adults would give the kids a sip of their drinks thinking it cute to see us act like a drunken fools. They would laugh about it without thinking about the consequences it might have on a child. By the time I was seven or eight years old I had been drinking regularly and started smoking marijuana. My family lived on top of a halfway house, today known as re-entry programs, where convicts released from prison would live out their parole. My sister and I would run errands for them and they’d pay us with joints. I began going to house parties where kids would steal liquor from their parents and hang out getting plastered all day while the parents where at work.

In eighth grade, we moved next door to a liquor store. I became friends with the owner and he gave me a job as stock boy. I would steal little bottles of Bacardi; Puerto Rican Rum (dark). So in school I was the shit- because I would always come to school with alcohol. I smoked cocaine with my grandfather for the first time at the age of thirteen, but hated it. In high school my using began to escalate. My mom was a single parent with four kids of her own —and a foster parent. At one point, we had 13 people living in a three-bedroom apartment and my mother couldn’t support us all. At fourteen years old I joined a gang so that I would be able to sell drugs to support my habit and gave any left over money to my mom.

I was kicked out of my high school half way through my freshman year and sent to an alternative high school for the “bad” kids. That’s when I got into PCP, (Phencyclidine is classified as a hallucinogen and has many of the same effects as LSD, but can be much more dangerous.) I loved the hallucination and the feeling of being in my own not-so-little world. It started off as just curiosity but then I just enjoyed the high way too much. I start selling “happy sticks” so I could smoke my PCP everyday. Along with all the other drugs I used.

I want to add that during all this drug use I was also, as every other queer kid growing up, struggling with my sexuality. Dating girls and having sex with boys. At sixteen I thought I came to terms with my bisexuality. I loved having sex with both women and men, and I still do, but of course I couldn’t let my family or friends know this. But this is a whole other story. I’ll get back to it later.

In my senior year, I stopped using drugs (but I still drank) because I wanted to join the military. I even made the honor roll, which totally blew me away. The alternative school was a blessing; Chicago needs more of them. After graduation, I joined the Army Reserves and served six years (1989-1995). My time in basic training in the Army was the best time of my life. This was the first time in my life that I knew what it felt like to truly believe in myself. I was pushed to my limits and beyond; and I succeeded.

During that time I married a woman, knowing that I shouldn’t have. After three years, we knew it wasn’t working and we divorced in 1993. I started exploring my sexuality more and I went to places like Berlin. I started dating this bisexual woman, Heather, who helped me tap into my bisexual side. I moved to Boystown, Chicago’s Gayborhood, and that’s when my drug use started again. When I first started going around the bars and meeting new people, the first things I learned were where the best places to party were, the best places for sex, and where the drugs were.

Drugs were everywhere. Of course, I saw the opportunity to make money, and get high while doing it. Within three months I was selling ounces of cocaine every other day. I was making good money, but I was spending it just as quick as I made it on buying more drugs, and crap I didn’t need, but just wanted. It was easy money; easy come easy go.

I was free. I was out there with gay men, doing what I thought were normal things. I was sitting on top of the world. Then that “one night” came. I did meth at an after-hours party for the first time. For me, crystal meth was a taboo drug, like heroin. There was a tray being passed around. I was told that it was cocaine. I took a bump of it and it burned like hell. I knew that it wasn’t coke and one of my friends told me that it was meth. I was so pissed at first, but felt so good after a while. I was sold.

A couple weeks later I met this guy who was a hardcore meth user. His excuse for taking meth was that it calmed down the side effects of his HIV medications. I didn’t believe him, but he was cute, so I didn’t care. So I ended up selling more drugs to support both our meth habits. But it got to the point that, for months, I didn’t know what it was like to be sober or without any chemicals in my system. Of course the relationship with him didn’t last, but my relationship with meth kept going strong. I was living with a friend and doing more drugs than I was selling. I became my best customer. I was paranoid most the time; I always thought that someone was watching me or was after my drugs. I wouldn’t even trust my clients. I couldn’t even have sex any more, I would rather get high. That was a scary way to live, but I couldn’t escape it. The drugs were controlling me now.

In the last month of my past life, I couldn’t even breathe out of my nose. I would take a bump and it would fall right back out. When I started hallucinating that my mom was dead and her spirit was talking to me, that’s when the reality set in that I was fucked up. But I still couldn’t stop using. I would spend my nights crying and praying for someone to help me stop.

Then came the last day, I was making a sale with a former client. I woke up that morning with the feeling that today was the day I was going to get arrested. Was it just my paranoia, or was the universe telling me something? Was it was my greed and addiction, or my wanting to stop using that made me go to a drop off spot? I drove over to a Lakeview restaurant, made the transaction without any problems, figured it was just my paranoia, and left. As soon as I got into my car, it was like the whole police district just walked over to get me. I had this look on my face like, “Thank God it’s over.” It was like a higher power said, “You’re not stopping on your own? I’ll fix that.”

This was beginning of the end of my past life.

To read daily motivations visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to receive daily motivations via email join our Google group Back To The Basics Please .

If you are not sure how to begin your work-in or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at thework-in@hotmail.com, I will response as soon as I can.

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

The "Work In" - Happy 74th Birthday AA!

Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

Yesterday, on June 10, 2009, Alcoholics Anonymous celebrated 74 years of fellowship for men and women from all walks of life who meet together to attain and maintain sobriety. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

Alcoholics Anonymous was founded 74 years ago on June 10 1934, in Akron, Ohio. On that day, Dr. Robert Smith, a prominent Akron surgeon, completed his first official day of sobriety. Dr. Bob, as he was known, and William "Bill W." Wilson, a successful Wall Street stockbroker, are considered the founding fathers of the organization that has helped lead thousands through a life without alcohol.

The origins of Alcoholics Anonymous can be traced to the Oxford Group, a religious movement popular in the United States and Europe in the early 20th century. Members of the Oxford Group believed in self-improvement by performing self-inventory, admitting wrongs, making amends, using prayer and meditation and carrying the message to others.

Bill W. learned from a former schoolmate that the Oxford Group had helped others stop drinking. In December 1934, he used the group's principles and he, too, ceased using alcohol. Unsuccessful in his efforts to reach alcoholics in New York, Bill W. eventually moved to Akron for work. There, he was introduced to Henrietta Seiberling, daughter-in-law of the founder of Goodyear Rubber Co. and an Oxford adherent. She arranged for him to meet Dr. Bob, whom she had been trying to get to stop drinking for two years.

Bill W. told his story, inspiring Dr. Bob to share his own. Dr. Bob relapsed, but he recovered and took his last drink on June 10, 1935. The two men developed an approach to reach other alcoholics.

Some other facts about Alcoholics Anonymous:

* In 1938, Bill W. started writing a book to outline a program for alcoholics to follow. The Twelve Step program was developed, inspired by the teachings of others and the Oxford Group's six-step program.

* In April 1939, 5,000 copies of the Big Book titled Alcoholics Anonymous, written by Bill W., rolled off the press. The 20 millionth book was presented at a ceremony in 2000.

* The Serenity Prayer was introduced at A.A. meetings in 1941.

Source: aa.org

AA celebrates 74th birthday, The Record e-Edition, (Wednesday, June 10, 2009), NorthJersey.com

For a more detailed outline of the history of AA visit www.aa.org/aatimeline/

To read daily motivations visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to receive daily motivations via email join our Google group Back To The Basics Please .

If you are not sure how to begin your work-in or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at thework-in@hotmail.com, I will response as soon as I can.

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

The "Work In" - The Infamous 4th Step

Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

Series began with Step One January 29, 2009
Click here for Step Two
Click here for Step Three

The 12 Steps: A historic and analytic explanation

[Channeled via 12 Steps Workbook: The Proactive Twelve Steps by Serge Prengel]

Since the beginning of our work-in we have been doing a lot of work, good work to, on our inner self, keep it up. This is the first major effort we’ll make at formal self-examination. Self-examination, and the resulting self-knowledge, is critically important to building our inner strength. It is also a vitally important component of all spiritual disciplines. It’s time to own our shit. In order to move forward you have to own up to your mistakes and stop blaming others for them. Without doing this we are bound to continue to repeat those old mistakes over and over again.

Step 4

I honestly look at the effects of my actions on others and myself.

Original wording (AA):
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Honesty

When things aren't working well, the temptation is to hunker down, feel defensive, and try to prove why what you're doing should work. Of course, this won't magically make things work.

Step 4 is about stepping away from the heat of battle, and taking a non-partisan look at your own actions.

Does it mean that you were bad, and we now have to become good?

No, you're certainly not trying to become an angel (or to convince yourself that you’re one). In fact, if you try to go that route, your life somehow becomes even more unmanageable. All you have to do is try to not be so defensive. That is, try to just face the reality of what you do without jumping to justify it in the same breath. The original 12 steps called Step 4 a "fearless" moral inventory. The fearlessness lies in that you accept to face reality, whatever it is.

Beyond good and evil

What makes this kind of honesty possible is removing the notion of judgment - that is, the potential for blame and shame. Step 4 is about looking at facts - as opposed to adding overlays of judgment and blame onto them in such a way that the facts become obscured.

There is a big difference between being in Criminal Court and doing Step 4:
- In Criminal Court, the rule is for the indicted person to avoid responsibility.
- In Step 4, your goal is to work toward taking responsibility for what you do.

Why would you do that? It is a logical continuation of the leap of faith described earlier. Your hope is that, whatever you find out about yourself, it will be something that you can live with.

This will lead you to eventually get to know your true self - - and that this might turn out to be a better person than you thought you were!

Now it’s time to stop reading and start writing.

Get to work! You have an inventory to write.

To read daily motivations visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to receive daily motivations via email join our Google group Back To The Basics Please .

If you are not sure how to begin your work-in or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at thework-in@hotmail.com, I will response as soon as I can.

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

The "Work-In" - It's Springtime....

Brought to you by Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

Time to Rejuvenate Your Soul

It will soon be springtime, although not soon enough. Springtime represents the renewal of nature and new beginnings. As spring gets closer we can start to feel the energy of Mother Earth vibrating in the air. We see her energy moving outward, the bulbs are blooming, the grass starts to turn green again, and energy that has been stored inward is starting to come to life. We begin crave those long sunny days and to feel the warmth of the sun on our backs.

We also go through changes at this time. Likewise, we too can sense our energies rising, stirring and wanting to move. Because of the outward moving, unreserved energy of the season, we are ready to move depressed, heavy sluggish ways out of our bodies and lives. Projects and plans that have been on hold because of the cold long winter start developing, moving forward and spring into life. Spring brings with it renewed optimism, hope, life and change. Well at least it should.

For some of us it is not easy to go with the follow of the season because we have depleted all our energy during the winter months. Many of us are still recovering from the mayhem of the holidays, the long work days, high fevers, colds and repeated flu symptoms. Let’s not forget about midterms and finals. Yes, that all sounds bleak. So my question to you is what are you doing to rejuvenate your soul so you don’t miss out on the splendor of the wonderful springtime energy?

What I am doing is going on a weekend retreat. I am disconnecting from the world and reconnecting with Spirit. It’s that time for me take that journey within again. I will be doing some self-examination, challenging myself to face my fears and weaknesses and honor them as a part of me. I will have the opportunity to share my sorrows, strengths, and gifts with other men as well and receive all of theirs. It’s not just a weekend it’s an adventure, it’s called the New Warrior Training Adventure offered by The ManKind Project®. I went through my first weekend in May, 2001. MKP coupled with AA has helped me to become the person I am today.

Now don’t get me wrong I am not plugging MKP or AA. I’m just sharing what works for me.

What works for you?

If you are not sure or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at thework-in@hotmail.com, I will responde as soon as I can.

Also, as Jim Pickett would say, “please check out some of the resources on the LifeLube mothership - Sex and Drugs, Crystal Meth, Spirituality, Relationships and Emotional Health.”

To read daily motivations visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to receive daily motivations via email join our Google group Back To The Basics Please .

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."
- President Barack Obama - 44th President of the United States of America 2009

The "Work In" - First Step

Brought to you by Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

The 12 Steps: A historic and analytic explanation
Series continued from January 29, 2009

First Step

Last month I decided to share this series I received some time ago. It breaks the 12 Steps down in a totally different way then how we are used to hearing it. Yes, I know, and I’ll say it again, the 12 steps aren’t for everyone; but it does work for many. I will run this series on the last Thursday of each month. So mark your calendars now. For those of you that are like me and just can’t wait a month for the next episode, you can get your very own copy of this series in a printable ebook of ‘The 12 Step Workbook” - just click on the book to the left.

“I realize I'm stuck. It makes no sense to keep trying to solve my problems with "solutions" that aren't working.”

Original wording (AA):
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

Codependency:
We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Generic version:
We admitted we were powerless over things we believed we should control -- that our lives had become unmanageable.

A new beginning

Somebody once said: If the only tool you have is a hammer, you try to solve everything by hammering.

Well, if the hammer is not solving the problem, it may very well be time to try something else.

The problem is, you may feel that the hammer really should be working… that it will actually work if you just try a little longer… There’s nothing wrong with persistence. But Step One introduces another consideration: accountability.

It’s not enough to just say: I believe it will work one day if I just keep trying. You need to set goals and deadlines. Not for the sake of putting pressure on yourself… but in order to face the reality of what is happening.

Step One is looking squarely at reality. If what you’re doing is not working, you acknowledge that. When you do, you are left with a feeling of emptiness – you don’t know what to do, or even whether there is a solution. It can be really scary. Surprisingly, the emptiness allows you to make room for new, unexpected ideas.


Will these steps work for me?

Self-knowledge is helpful when you want to make changes in your life. The "proactive 12 steps" will help you gain self knowledge. This, in turn, will help you make the changes you want.

But don’t just take my word for it. Keep track of what’s happening. Periodically ask yourself whether you are making progress. This means that you need to give some thought to how you will define and evaluate progress.

What if you’re dealing with addiction? When people say that the “twelve steps” helped them deal with addiction, they do not mean that they just read the steps. They credit twelve steps meetings and the peer support they provide. Even peer support may not be enough. If your habits are endangering yourself or others, you may need to see a qualified professional or go to a rehab program.

The first step is about facing the reality of your situation. It makes no sense to keep trying to solve problems with "solutions" that can't work. Whenever you realize this, you need to look for a different approach.

In other words, the first step is not just the beginning of this process. It is an attitude. It is about staying grounded in reality as you keep track of your progress.



To read daily motivations visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to receive daily motivations via email join our Google group Back To The Basics Please .

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."
President Barack Obama - 44th President of the United States of America 2009