Does Gay Sex make one Homosexual?

via blackgaymensblog, by Storm

The previous blog post about black gay and bisexual men seducing straight men prompted a lot discussion on Facebook and on Skype.

I decided to start a separate dialog, because there was a lot of focus on whether or not a man could be considered straight if he has had gay sex.

For me, the previous blog post had more to do with wanting someone, who was unattainable and lusting after straight men, who are often perceived as sexually superior, than whether or not straight men who might engage in gay sex are still heterosexual.

The minute straight men are mentioned on Black Gay Men’s Blog, some of us immediately lose sight of the totality of the article and focus on whether or not straight men, who engage in gay sex can still be straight.  So, I thought we could explore that here.

Personally, I do not believe that engaging in gay sex once makes a man(or woman) gay. I don’t believe sexuality is that clear cut – it all depends on the circumstances surrounding the sexual encounter.

I am not suggesting homosexuality is a choice, but I think engaging in homosexual acts can be. Let me make one thing clear, I am not talking about repetitive, on-going sexual encounters or referring to those men, who might be in denial. 

I think that any man who has gay sex for a prolonged period of time, or has numerous male sexual partners is at the very least bisexual.

Especially, if he does so when he has free access to women and the life of a loved one is not threatened.  This is just my opinion and not the opinion of other contributors on Black Gay Men’s Blog. 

I have never claimed to be politically correct 100% of the time. Quite frankly, I prefer being thought-provoking and getting us to have some sort of dialog, than being politically-correct.

I think some gay men are too quick to want to label anyone who has had homosexual sex as gay or no longer straight. Sexuality is simply not that black and white – not all sexual encounters define one’s sexuality.

The label “gay” is a western concept and there are societies, in which that label doesn’t exist and others where the gender of one’s sexual partners is not as big a deal as it might be here in the USA. 

In those societies, “gay” is not a political statement  and Black Gay Men’s Blog does have readers from all corners of the globe, so I try to look at things more broadly.

We don’t have to agree, but we can respect and maybe learn from one another.


Read the rest

Testing Together

via thegavoice, by Ryan Lee

The sexual transmission of HIV is often believed to be associated with promiscuity, but gay and bisexual men are far more likely to contract the disease while in a relationship than from a casual sex partner.

“If you look at new HIV infections among men who have sex with men, about two-thirds of new HIV infections come from main sex partners,” said Patrick Sullivan, an associate professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health.

Sullivan and Emory researchers have adapted a strategy that has been used since the late 1980s for heterosexual couples in Africa, where HIV transmission often takes place within marriage, to help gay male couples in the United States learn their HIV status alongside their partners.

After a year of research conducted at AID Atlanta, “Testing Together” was officially launched in September, and “gives people a forum and a supportive place in which to have conversations that may be more difficult to raise individually,” Sullivan said.

“We made some important changes in the intervention [that has been used to test couples in Africa] to make it appropriate for male couples in the US,” Sullivan said. “For example, one of things that is addressed in the intervention is the issue of agreements.

“We know that most male couples in the United States have some kind of explicit agreement about whether or not they can have sex with partners outside their relationship.” he said.

 “We feel like ‘Testing Together’ is an important opportunity for guys to have a safe place to talk about that agreement and clarify it.”

According to data collected for the initiative, about 90 percent of gay male couples have had discussions about whether it is acceptable to have sexual partners outside of the relationship, with more than half of the couples identifying as strictly monogamous.

Of those monogamous couples, one quarter of partners acknowledged having sex outside of the relationship within the past year, and only one quarter of those men informed their primary partner about the lapse in monogamy.

“So the reality is that although most male couples in our research report that they have agreements toward monogamy, people are human and sometimes people step out of those agreements,” Sullivan said.

 “One of the things we do in this intervention is we give couples the chance to talk openly about what they want to do if that slip-up happens, and this isn’t a conversation that’s always comfortable to raise with your partner.”

The “Testing Together” intervention — which is financed by the MAC AIDS Fund and currently available at AID Atlanta, the Ric Crawford Clinic (formerly AID Gwinnett) and a gay health clinic in Chicago — emphasizes a “future forward” approach that helps it avoid being a high-anxiety “confessional” for partners, said Lamont Scales, prevention programs manager at AID Atlanta.


Read the rest

How is Quincy Greene healthy?

[LifeLube would like to encourage YOU to reflect on your own healthy choices and make video to provide tips to others on LifeLube! Be YOU ! Be Healthy! Live Long! LifeLube!Send your video link or written post to lifelube@gmail.com.]



How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

What Does Virginity Mean to Gay Men?

via The Good Men's Project, By Joseph Caputo

The definition of sex can be as messy as the act itself. Hard and dry, sex means coitus: 1 penis + 1 vagina = 1 ejaculation. The dictionary does not mention clitoral stimulation, pegging, scissoring or even dry humping. Sex is not sex unless it is between heterosexuals and there is a passage of genetic material.

Queer men have a lot of sex. If sex is about passing on genetic material then there are gay genes all over the place. These acts have helped redefine the concept of sex from a biological necessity to a sharing of intimacy.
If sex isn’t sex, then when does a gay guy lose his virginity? Can a person be gay if he’s never been with a guy or only slept with girls? What is second base for a gay man—a kiss on the cheek or a gangbang? The answers are surprisingly personal.

We asked men who have sex with men what virginity means to them. They shared stories about their first girlfriends, anonymous hookups, and waiting for that special guy.

Sure, everyone says you lose your virginity the first time you make whoopie. Wrong. Virginity is not a binary thing. To me, it’s about knowing what you want and what the hell you’re doing. There are lots of 15-year-olds out there dipping it in on prom night, but Lord knows they’ll be virgins for a while. I didn’t know shit from Shinola until my mid-20s. Like a great philosopher of our time said back in 1967, “Are you experienced?” If not, well, it’s like the old truckers say: “If you can’t find it, grind it.”
—Maxwell, musician





Read more.

Sex and the POZ Gay Man

Via POZ - If being HIV positive raises a million questions, being poz and sexually active raises a million more. In his article "Law & Disclosure" in The Positive Side, Glenn Betteridge wrote about one such question for people living with HIV/AIDS (PHAs): When are you required by law to inform your sexual partner of your HIV status?

Even if you've managed to keep the courtroom out of your bedroom, plenty of other uncertainties remain. Does having an undetectable viral load mean you're no longer infectious? How do sexually transmitted infections (STIs) affect people with HIV? How do you initiate sex if you think your prospective partner may be poz-phobic?

HIV-positive gay men may find these questions especially pressing. Gay culture can put a lot of value (and pressure) on having sex. How can a poz gay man feel healthy and horny when sex seems so fraught with potential landmines? Here are some issues that you might consider as you chart your course.


Read the rest...

Does The Gay Media Have A Sex Addiction?

Vanity Fair is just as risque as gay publications are, but no one ever complains about their content and advertising.

via Mediaite, by Michael Triplett

 For David Badash, a Bilerico Project post about a website featuring Mormon guys masturbating was the final straw. The New York blogger at the The New Civil Rights Movement announced quite publicly recently that he was no longer going to write for the brainy, activist blog that is the Huffington Post of the LGBT blog world.

The back and forth between Bilerico’s founder Bil Browning and Badash has unearthed one of the dirty secrets about the LGBT (old and new) media world: sex sells and sex is interesting.

Read the rest.

History of Childhood Sexual Abuse and Unsafe Anal Intercourse

History of Childhood Sexual Abuse and Unsafe Anal Intercourse in a Six-City Study of HIV-Positive Men Who Have Sex with Men

Among a population of HIV-positive men who reported unsafe anal intercourse with other men in the preceding year, the authors assessed rates of childhood sexual abuse and its demographic and mental health correlates. The researchers conducted a cross-sectional analysis of baseline data from 593 HIV-positive men who have sex with men (MSM), who were enrolled in the "Positive Connections" intervention.

Forty-seven percent of participants reported childhood sexual abuse, with 32 percent reporting the frequency of abuse was sometimes or often. The MSM reporting abuse were more likely to be Latino (odds ratio [OR]: 2.6; 95 percent confidence interval [CI]=1.6, 4.2; P<.001) or African American (OR=1.8; 95 percent CI=1.2, 2.7; P=.005) than white. Among MSM reporting abuse, more frequent abuse was associated with more sexual contacts (for each, rate ratio [RR]=1.3; P<.001) and unsafe anal intercourse (often, RR=1.5; sometimes, RR=2.0; P<.001) compared to men who were not abused.

"History of childhood sexual abuse is highly prevalent among HIV-positive men who engage in risky sexual behavior with other men and appears to be more common among men of color," the authors concluded. "Our findings suggest that abuse is associated with a significantly increased risk of sexually transmitted infections."

Adapted from:
American Journal of Public Health 06.01.2009; Vol. 99; No. 6: P. 1079-1086; Seth L. Welles, Sc.D., Ph.D.; A. Cornelius Baker, B.A.; Michael H. Miner, Ph.D.; David J. Brennan, Ph.D.; Scott Jacoby, M.A.; B.R. Simon Rosser, Ph.D., M.P.H. This article was provided by U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. It is a part of the publication CDC HIV/Hepatitis/STD/TB Prevention News Update.

New Hepatitis C Epidemic Outbreaks in HIV-Positive Gay Men

Outbreaks of sexually transmitted hepatitis C infection have been reported among HIV-positive gay men. Early diagnosis and treatment can prevent serious liver disease, but too few doctors notice the warning signs.

via Treatment Action Group, by Tracy Swan

A new epidemic of hepatitis C virus (HCV) infection is on the rise. In the last few years, outbreaks of HCV have been reported among HIV-positive gay men in the United Kingdom, France, the Netherlands, Australia, Germany, and the United States. Many of these cases involve sexual transmission and are associated with group sex and recreational use of noninjection drugs such as ecstasy and cocaine. There have been no reports of an HCV epidemic among HIV-positive women.

When HCV infection is detected and treated early, during the acute phase (within six months of infection), the likelihood of successfully curing the infection is greater than when treatment is begun later. However, acute HCV infection often goes undiagnosed because there are usually no symptoms; there is no specific test to differentiate acute from chronic HCV. The rising number of acute HCV infections in HIV-positive men calls for increased vigilance among doctors and better efforts to provide information to gay men, who are most at risk.

Read the rest.

Download a guide to Hep C for people living with HIV via the UK's George House Trust here.

Stay Negative

Just found out you’re HIV-negative?


Where you go from here
is up to you.

LifeLube recommended!
via GMFA the gay men’s health charity
Part of the Pan London HIV Prevention Partnership


Your next HIV test could also be negative, or it could be positive.

But you can be in control of that. You can stay negative.

Even though you have a negative test result now, this might not be the case in the future if you put yourself at risk.

That’s why it’s important to develop strategies to help keep you HIV-negative. We’ve written this book to help you.

The information in this booklet was accurate on 1 April 2009
Click here to download the booklet.

Get comfortable, get informed & get off

Charlie Glickman is a San Francisco-based sex educator. After working at Good Vibrations, a local sex shop, Glickman went on to do his doctoral work in the area of adult sexual education. He was interviewed in Capital xtra!

When we're talking about sex negativity, what we're talking about is the idea that sex is dangerous and that it needs to be controlled or contained. Or that it needs something to validate it. In the old days, 100 years ago, the only thing that validated it was heterosexual marriage for the purpose of procreation.

We have started seeing shifts. Now we're in this place where, for some people, love validates sex, or a relationship validates sex, but there's still this idea that we need something to validate it because we still have this fear about it.

But sex positivity doesn't mean that there's no control, or there's no boundaries. Sex negativity is about utterly rigid boundaries, so the mistake that people make is thinking that there are no boundaries. In fact, the people who I know who try to live in a sex positive way have some of the most firm boundaries I know.

Read the whole thing.

Journal article: "Is ‘bareback’ a useful construct in primary HIV-prevention? Definitions, identity and research"

by A. Carballo-Diéguez, A. Ventuneac, J. Bauermeister, G. W. Dowsett, C. Dolezal, R. H. Remien I. and Balan M. Rowe, January 2009,Culture, Health & Sexuality.

The terms bareback and bareback identity are increasingly being used in academic discourse on HIV/AIDS without clear operationalisation. Using in depth,face-to-face interviews with an ethnically diverse sample of 120 HIVinfected and -uninfected men, mainly gay-identifying and recruited online in New York City, this study explored respondents’ definitions of bareback sex, the role that intentionality and risk played in those definitions, and whether respondents identified as ‘barebackers’. Results showed overall agreement with a basic definition of bareback sex as condomless anal intercourse, but considerable variation on other elements. Any identification as barebacker appeared too loose to be of use from a public health prevention perspective. To help focus HIV prevention efforts, we propose a re-conceptualisation that contextualises risky condomless anal intercourse and distinguishes between behaviours that are intentional and may result in HIV-primary transmission from those that are not.

Read the article here (housed on the IRMA website.)

Change.org - Five Things to Know About Condoms

Excellent piece from on Change.org
Original item, by Alanna Shaikh

I'm not going to write about the pope again. I just can't face it. But I'll offer you a related topic - things to know about condoms.

1) When used properly and every time, the male condom has a 3% failure rate. In typical use - not always worn right, and not every single time - the failure rate is 10-14%. reference

2) The female condom has a failure rate of 21% during typical use. reference

3) When a condom breaks, it generally happens because no space was left at the tip of the condom for ejaculate. A properly worn condom has a small reservoir at the end. reference

4) There are condoms especially designed for anal sex. They're stronger and less prone to breakage. The female condom can also be used. reference reference

5) You can put at least 625 condoms on a single dildo. Also, you can fit a condom on your head. reference reference

Work It Out (and in, and out)

'Sexercise' yourself into shape

via BBC World


The NHS has some new advice for people struggling to schedule a fitness routine into their daily lives - a workout between the sheets.

According to the NHS Direct website, "sexercise" can lower the risk of heart attacks and helps people live longer.

Endorphins released during orgasm stimulate immune system cells, which also helps target illnesses like cancer, as well as wrinkles, it states.

Sexual health experts said such claims could not be scientifically proven. "It's good to see the NHS are promoting sexual wellbeing," Dr Melissa Sayer told the Guardian newspaper. "Yes, there is evidence that sex has benefits for mental wellbeing, but to say there is a link with reduced risk of heart disease and cancer is taking the argument too far."

NHS Direct, however, told the paper the content was "backed by science and clinical evidence" and "isn't just a bit of fun".

'Regular romps' The advice, published under the headline "Get more than zeds in bed", is one of several sexual health-related articles to be found on the NHS Direct website. Sex with a little energy and imagination provides a workout worthy of an athlete, the article says.

"Forget about jogging round the block or struggling with sit-ups. Sex uses every muscle group, gets the heart and lungs working hard, and burns about 300 calories an hour." The advice suggests "regular romps this winter" could lead to a better body and a younger look.

Increased production of endorphins "will make your hair shine and your skin smooth," it adds. "If you're worried about wrinkles - orgasms even help prevent frown lines from deepening."

The article goes on to say that orgasms release "painkillers" into the bloodstream, which helping keep mild illnesses like colds and aches and pains at bay. The production of extra oestrogen and testosterone hormones "will keep your bones and muscles healthy, leaving you feeling fabulous inside and out".

Priming your pooter, part one

via Gay.com

When it comes to getting used to being penetrated, the strategy is to work up to it. If you want to get used to having something moving in and out, the shower is a good place to begin to get acquainted with your own tushy. With your daily rinse or time in the tub, include a little lotion (since soap can irritate the anal area) and use your finger to gently move into place. You'll notice when your finger moves, the sphincter naturally wants to tighten up. That's fine, but then have your mind relax the sphincter muscles.

Read the rest.

Sexual Negotiations

"My partner wants me to talk dirty to him, be rough and call him names. I have a real hard time with any of that even though he's asked me to on more than one occasion."

One of the most difficult tasks in any relationship is being able to comfortably talk about sex with our partners. The issues can range from simply how often and what to do to whether or not the relationship should be open, monogamous or some variation thereof.

Read the rest on Gay.com.

Increase in serodiscordant casual sex among Sydney gay men at a time when HIV diagnoses have not increased

via Aidsmap

Between 2003 and 2006, there was an increase in the numbers of HIV-negative gay men in Sydney who reported having unprotected anal intercourse with casual HIV-positive partners, report researchers in the online edition of AIDS and Behavior. However the researchers do not believe that these men form "a core group of high risk men".

Iryna Zablotska and her colleagues from the University of New South Wales analysed data from two cohort studies among Sydney gay and bisexual men: the Positive Health cohort of 760 HIV-positive men, and the Health in Men cohort of 1427 HIV-negative men. Both studies asked identical questions about sexual behaviour in annual surveys from 2003 to 2006, including questions on sex with partners of a different HIV status (rather than, as in some other studies, sex which could have been with a partner of a different HIV status).

Among the HIV-negative men, whilst the number having sex with casual partners decreased from survey to survey, there were small but statistically significant increases in the numbers having serodiscordant sex. Those having sex with casual partners they believed to be HIV positive rose from 11% to 13%, and the number specifically having unprotected anal intercourse with those men increased from 3% to 4%.

The number of HIV-positive men reporting serodiscordant casual partners did rise, but there was no statistically significant rise in unprotected anal intercourse with them.

The study examined a number of behaviours that have been previously found to be associated with sexual risk-taking, and confirmed that serodiscordant unprotected anal intercourse with casual partners was more common among men with higher numbers of sexual partners, men who met partners online or in sex clubs, Viagra users, those who injected drugs, men who used 'party' drugs regularly and those having ‘esoteric’ sexual practices (fisting, sex toys, water sports, bondage etc).

However the researchers note that men who had risky sex did not do so consistently. Over 85% of the men who reported having serodiscordant unprotected anal intercourse only reported it at one of their annual interviews, and they typically reported that behaviour with just one or two partners in the previous six months.

Read the rest on Aidsmap.

Casual sex among Cambodia's MSMs an HIV timebomb

PHNOM PENH (AFP) — In the fading daylight they come out by their dozens -- young men in small groups or alone, cruising Phnom Penh's parks for sex, not with female prostitutes but with each other.

"Having sex with men is just something I like to do, it's relaxing," says a pub manager who gave his name as Pov as he sat among drinkers, all men, at his bar a few blocks off of the capital's busy riverfront.

In Cambodia, as elsewhere in the region, men having sex with men is nothing new.

Read the rest.

Get it On

[from Get it On - a fabulous site by the folks at Terrence Higgins Trust in the UK]

Fucking is by far the easiest way that HIV is passed on when a man with HIV has sex with a man who doesn’t.

Using a condom not only protects against HIV being passed on but also cuts the risk of many other sexually transmitted infections.

With more gay men with HIV than ever, fucking without condoms has never been riskier. But using them isn’t always easy. This website has tips on making condoms work for you, from choosing the right condom and lubricant to reducing the chance of things going wrong when you use them.

Helpful tabs on the SITE include:

Choosing the right condom;

Guide to putting on condoms;

Getting hold of condoms;

Lube; and

Problems using condoms.

HIV-positive gay men in Western Europe disproportionately affected by STIs

[via aidsmap]

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) – including syphilis, gonorrhoea, LGV and hepatitis C – are disproportionately affecting HIV-positive gay men, according to a review of STIs amongst gay men in Western Europe published in the October 2007 edition of the journal Sexually Transmitted Diseases. The authors conclude that this not only highlights the need to routinely test HIV-positive gay men for STIs and hepatitis C, but also suggests that changes in STI incidence may no longer reflect corresponding changes in HIV incidence amongst gay men as a whole.

Since 1996, when the era of effective antiretroviral therapy began, the number of diagnosed HIV-positive gay men who are well and sexually active has increased substantially. In order to understand trends in HIV prevalence and STIs amongst HIV-positive gay men in Western Europe, researchers from London undertook a review of published reports between 1996 and 2006.

They focused on twelve countries (Belgium, Denmark, France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Netherlands, Norway, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom) and four STIs in particular: gonorrhoea, syphilis, lymphogranuloma venereum (LGV), and sexually transmitted hepatitis C. They picked these STIs due to their epidemiologic synergies with HIV, their historical use as markers of high-risk sex and their recent (re-) emergence among gay men.

Read the rest on aidsmap.

Tell Project CRYSP About Your Sex Life Chicago!