The BEST of Lifelube - "The “Work-In” - First installment!" From Thursday, December 11, 2008

The “Work-In” - First installment!

It will take dedication. You get out what you put in.

Brought to you by Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict(still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned some who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger.

In the GBLTQI community we focus a lot on our outer appearance. How’s my hair? How do I look in this outfit? Does my make-up look good? I’m I too thin, or too fat? We can spend hours at the gym working out without any hesitation. But when it comes to working on our inner being, our soul, we tend to avoid it like the black plague. Many of us don’t even know where to begin.

My hope is that this post will help you figure out how to begin your “Work-In” program. Yes, just like a workout program at the gym, it’s going to be challenging. It won’t be easy. It will hurt like hell at times and will really suck at other times. It will take dedication. You get out what you put in. Lastly, it’s going to take some time to see/feel some results. Patience is a virtue. As a result of all your hard work you will see life in a much different way. You will feel so much better about yourself and the world around you.

Recreating, reinventing or revising who we are is what will keep us stronger than our sorrows; which can lead to unhealthy addictions. I always hear people say “I just want to go back to the way things were and the person I was before I started using drugs or alcohol.” Well I sure the hell don’t want to. What these people don’t realize is that the ways things were, and the person “I” was, is what got us using in the first place.

For most of us in recovery, we were given a second, third, fourth (and so on…) chance at life. Yet we try to do the same things over and over again expecting a different outcome. That, my friends, is the definition of insanity.

Our first lesson is: Accept Change

(Quick Disclaimer: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Only you can. “Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain)

"We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life's morning; for what in the morning was true will in evening become a lie." -- C.G. Jung

Life continually evolves. We’re always moving into new experiences, new possibilities. This constant change unsettles the personality, which finds security in stability. But with life always in flux, that security is an illusion. We experience pain by trying to hold on to things that are not solid.

Life becomes joyful when we can open to the constant flow and ride freely with it. This requires us to let go of the need to control. We need to learn to trust.

"Can it then be that what we call the ‘self’ is fluid and elastic? It evolves, strikes a different balance with every new breath." -- Wayne Muller

"We’re never the same; notice how you’re called to write something entirely different about a topic you responded to weeks or months ago." -- Patrice Vecchione

Personal growth can be a long hard journey. At Higher Awareness you are never left alone. From The Inner Journey (C) Reproductions Permitted: http://www.higherawareness.com

Read more Daily Motivations at http://thework-in.blogspot.com

The BEST of Lifelube - "Feel the Love..." From Friday, November 28, 2008

Feel the Love...

Stop the world and melt with you

Sister Glo shares her glittery gems of love for LifeLube.

"Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul."

- Saint Teresa of Avila 




Sister Glo is an HIV educator, gay men’s health advocate, and member of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in Seattle. She is drawn to sparkly objects and believes that glitter and the transformative power of love in action are necessary to gay men’s health and wellness.

[VIDEO] God Loves Gays

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Jordan Bach

The anti-homosexuality bill known to many as the "Kill The Gays" bill has been put back on the table for consideration in Uganda.

The proposed legislation would deliver a life sentence in prison for any consensual gay sex act, and the death penalty for gay sex acts by a person with HIV.

Driven mostly by religious fervor, the bill is a searing reminder that, for so many human beings around the world who are born gay, life does not "get better."

Upon hearing this news, I felt an almost unbearable sadness for these oppressed men and women. In videos posted online, their deep-rooted shame is palpable, and I see myself in their faces, in their speech, and in their dreams for their lives.

I cannot separate myself from them. I know that whatever is happening to them is very much happening to me, and to every one of us.

This week, I felt a resolve to do something about it. I recorded my first YouTube video with the intention of illuminating the fact that, despite everything we've heard, God loves gay people.

Though it has never been my goal to convince non-believers, I'll point out that one needn't condemn spirituality simply because a handful of religious extremists has misinterpreted holy scripture; that's throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Instead, I urge gays to look inward and perceive their own very personal love -- that is God, and it will save you and, indeed, the world.

Duchess reflects (rants) on death, ritual, identity, and pink carnations

[LifeLube is bloody thrilled to present Duchess a new, semi-irregular column featuring the ramblings of an English Duchess. This is the second - more to come. Click here for the first.]

Unfortunately we all die, it's a sad reality that comes as part of humanity.

As I don my black twin set and antique pearls to bid another close friend goodbye, I started to reflect on the rituals and language around death and bereavement in our own lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans communities.

Most of the ritual around death is based in religion and it is ironic that many of us return to these faith based rituals to mark the end of life when for the majority of our lives organised religions often isolate and marginalise us because of our relationships and life partners. Although there are smaller groups within these faiths who acknowledge our lives and value us, they are splinters from the main religious tenement and few have structured ceremonies for the bereaved.

As a community we have gone through an almost genocidal onslaught on gay and bisexual men through the HIV epidemic, and many of our trans and lesbian and bisexual sisters and brothers were not left untouched. There were periods in the 80's and 90's where the funerals came so thick and fast it was worse than the new season on Broadway and we ran out of small talk and chit chat as we bumped into each other again and again, laughing, crying, remembering and rejoicing the lives of those we had lost.

But despite all of this death, we are drawn back to the hetero-norms of religion to mark the passing of our lives, we have no language for death and bereavement in our community and hence struggle to find a community paradigm to mark the passing of loved ones.

I was most struck as I tried to simultaneously swallow a dry and tepid cucumber sandwich and shake hands with the bereaved partner that there is no language in our community for the bereaved.

The heterosexual terms of widow and widower are based on the concept of marriage, a luxury of language denied to the vast majority of our community across the world. We have fought long and hard to argue that our relationships have validity and have them recognised in law, but as a community we have yet to develop the language that goes with these life-long partnerships. When a gay man looses his partner of five, ten, twenty years, we just re-classify him as single and expect him to find someone else. There isn't a tick box on the form for 'civil partner bereaved' and yet widower doesn't quite fit - despite the drama queens running for the veil and gin gimlets!

The advent of anti-retrovirals has changed the nature of HIV and AIDS in the western world, yet infection rates continue to rise amongst gay men and as people live longer we are seeing the returns of lives of hedonism full of smoking, drugs and alcohol coming home to roost with strokes, heart attacks and early onset dementia, and frankly there are enough dizzy queens in the world without adding hoards of demented queers to their numbers! As we live into old age and some of us who have been fortunate to find life partners, will find ourselves loosing them, being the one left behind, and we need a new language to describe that state.

At one funeral the pastor stumbled over the re-written core text, where 'he' and 'she' had to be switched to recognise that this was the funeral of one part of a same-sex partnership and despite the best  intentions the wording didn't fit and it all felt a little forced in. Of course the awful choice of floristry didn't help, bright pink carnations are never a good funeral flower, I don't care how camp you are!

Almost every tribal community has a special place for the bereaved, especially the widows, from the dowager empresses of the forbidden city to the white widows of India, these communities recognise the special and unique space occupied by the bereaved.

So what space do we create in our diverse, migrating, fluid and fluctuating community?

How many LGBT community services and organisations run bereavement services?, how many of us have asked about how the local funeral home will recognise and accommodate queer identities?

How often do you see bereavement materials which are LGB and T inclusive in language and imagery?

Now this might just be a personal rant as I am not as young as I used to be and despite surgical interventions and the wonder of botox, I know that unlike Cher, I will not live forever, none of us will (okay I'll give you Joan Rivers and Cher might), so why don't we get the discussion going and find a language, rituals and identity which values our lives and our loves in death as well as in life.

TED - Jok Church: A circle of caring

In this 3-minute talk, cartoonist and educator Jok Church tells a moving story of the teacher who cared for him when no one else did -- and how he returned the favor.

Was Jesus gay?

via iafrica, By Bryony Whitehead

Recent debate over the legalisation of same-sex marriage in New York has led to speculation over whether or not Jesus Christ had a homosexual relationship.

GC Bryan, a psychologist and Catholic author, was recently interviewed in a magazine called Out Smart - which describes itself as a gay, bi-sexual and trans magazine – and argued that Jesus may have had a sexual relationship with one of his disciples.

His reasoning suggests that John the Baptist was a potential love interest of Jesus, and is motivated by one heavily debated line in the Gospel of John 13:23 that reads: "Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved."

Bryan lays out a case for same-sex relationships in the Bible in a book entitled The Purple Triangle. Bryan explains to Out Smart that he sees Jesus as human and that it's important for the public to have a broader interpretation of him. "That leads to the next step that we’re all sons and daughters of God, without exception," he explains.

Bryan is not alone in his thinking. Scholars as far back as the 16th Century have suggested that Jesus and John's relationship was more than brotherly love. King James I of England, from which the Authorised King James version of the Bible comes, justified his own relationship with the Duke of Buckingham when he said, "I wish to speak in my own behalf and not to have it thought to be a defect, for Jesus Christ did the same, and therefore I cannot be blamed. Christ had his son John, and I have my George."

Read more.

Coaching with Jake - Who's Your Best Friend?

Do you want to sped time with someone who judges, berates, belittles and tells you that you're bad?

by Jake Arturio Braden
Read other posts [Coaching with Jake appears every Thursday on LifeLube]

So who is your best friend? I'd say it's the person who reminds you how great you are, reminds you of all the things you're good at.

How many of you answered "me" ... yourself?

There are times where all of us would like some reassurance, some positive strokes, to be given a compliment or a boost. I recently was feeling out of sorts and needed a verbal hug, some reassurance that I was ok and appreciated... as sometimes happens when the universal energy is “challenging” us. The supportive voices from “others” (friends, family etc) were silent. So I asked - what part of myself can facilitate that need?

Positive feedback is nice and I am not intimating that people should refrain from showing appreciation and complimenting and supporting each other. I am saying that perhaps we can try to be our own best friend first. After all who do we spend all our time?

Wouldn’t it be nice if that time was spent with someone we liked?

Do you want to sped time with someone who judges, berates, belittles and tells you that you're bad? This type of negative self talk can be tamed and turned around to be one of support and caring. So when you require or feel the need for some kind of confidence boost, your “inner” best friend can give it.


Please visit my Transvelopment blog, and my website. You can also find me on Facebook.

Coaching with Jake [every Thursday on LifeLube]

Unlock the power of your mind and your imagination...

Faking it till you “make” it!
with Jake Arturio Braden
Read other posts

How many of you have heard of this saying? What does it mean for you?

Well in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming ) there is this exercise called mental rehearsal  and it’s what a lot of actors, athletes, sports people and other successful people use. It is basically rehearsing something over and over again in your head, in your mind, and getting a sense of it going well for you. A sense of it going really well for you and noticing “how” that happened.

In an experiment they wired athletes up to equipment that could measure muscle power, and then they asked them to imagine running a race or swimming that 200 metre race. The muscle fired up as if they were actually “doing it”  - that’s because the mind believed it was happening and told the body to react.

To do this it’s a best to find a quiet place and begin by breathing... deep breaths from your belly, in through your nose and out through your mouth...

Once you feel relaxed, get a sense of whatever it is you want to rehearse (that job interview, that presentation to the board, asking that hottie out). Begin with the starting point and imagine yourself doing this, now it’s usual to notice a dominant modality (sight, sound, feeling). Now run through this like it is a movie, you are the writer, director and lead in this movie - make it whatever you want it to be.

You run the whole story from beginning to end. Each step, you can stop and go back anytime and change whatever you want until you feel that it’s “right” for you. You keep doing this until you have the whole “movie” just right and play it over and over again in the movie theatre of your mind. Now you can do this as much as you want.

What was you body language like, the tonality of your voice? Its good to get a really good sense/feel for this. These are the keys to your success!

Now it’s not necessary to spend hours, and you will get quicker each time you do it. The key is to give it a go. Maybe start on something small first.

If you find it challenging to get a sense of a way of behaving that you would like (e.g. confidence) you may want to notice how other people operate. Say you want to feel more confident... pick someone you see as confident and notice them, what they do, how their body language is, how their voice sounds etc. Apply the movie technique to this and get a sense of how it would be to be like them.

Once you have your movie perfected, you have it in your mental filing system to pull out, whenever you want it. It’s a good idea to rehearse just before the time you want to use it. Remember, it gets easier and quicker the more you do this. You mind is a muscle - so exercise it.

See what happens for you and get a sense of how you can unlock the power of your mind and your imagination to support your ability to live your dream life!

Please visit my Transvelopment blog, and my website. You can also find me on Facebook.

How is Brian Vanderheyden healthy?

Doing what I can to prevent disease and injury is how I stay healthy.

Prevention has been a focus of my life for the past half decade. I have awful family medical history and I have watched my grandparents, relatives and parents suffer from a variety of different diseases. Knowing that my gene pool is not the greatest, I have developed a passion over the years for health and improving my overall wellness.

I am currently a Community Health Education major at the University of Wisconsin- La Crosse. Community health focuses on primary prevention techniques to stay healthy. Primary prevention attempts to take measures to inhibit any disease or injury from occurring rather than treating or curing them. I do not believe that we can prevent everything that occurs in life but I have made many lifestyle and attitude changes that focus on my future health.

Experiencing high amounts of stress is an understatement for many college students including me. I am in my final semester as an undergraduate student, I’m adjusting to the city of Chicago (I just moved to here a couple weeks ago from La Crosse, Wisconsin to complete an internship at Howard Brown Health Center as part of my undergraduate degree), and I’m in the process of interviewing for graduate schools.

Plus I can’t forget the limited budget I am living on, the massive amount of debt I am accumulating, and the fact that I am starting the process of coming out to my family and friends.

So for me a huge part of how I stay healthy is really tuning into my mental health.

Learning about myself through years of self reflection has allowed me discover where I draw my energy from and how I recharge that energy on a daily basis. Burnout rates for college students are high and having experienced burnout a couple years ago; I have been actively doing what I can to prevent it from happening again.

With everything going on in my life right now, time management and staying organized is how I have reduced a lot of the stress I feel on a daily basis. I have developed an organization system that helps identify what I need to get done each day, throughout the week, and what tasks have the highest priority. Having a plan in place is what helps me stay on task and not forget anything.

Another lifestyle change I have made is incorporating “Me Time” into my day, every day. “Me Time” can really consist of anything but it’s something where I can escape from reality for a short period of time and devote it to bettering myself (mentally, physically, spiritually, etc). I always set time out of my day to work out. I am a fitness guru and love all types of physical activity. I find happiness and a spiritual connection when I make a mind/body connection during my workouts.

In addition to exercising, I also try to incorporate another activity at night before I go to bed to relax from the day. Whether this is watching one of my favorite TV shows, reading a book, meditating, going on a walk, etc., I need this time to self reflect on myself and my day. I try every day to become a better person and self reflection is how I best achieve this. It helps me become aware of my strengths and areas of improvement that I want to work on in the future.

Besides recharging my energy from “Me Time,” I also tend to draw energy from the people around me especially my close friends and family. I have the best friends/family in the world (in my opinion of course) and I value those relationships more than anything. Every relationship is so special to me and I know that my friends and family would do anything for me as I would for them. Having that support system has gotten me through rough periods in my life including my recent coming out in terms of my sexuality.

Improving overall wellness in all areas of my life (intellectual, mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, social, etc.) is extremely important to me.

Wellness and being healthy is so much more than eating right and exercising. While I do those things, it does not stop there for me.

I believe the other areas of wellness are crucial and are an important part of my overall health and how I stay healthy!

-- Brian Vanderheyden
Chicago


How are you healthy?
Join in the conversation.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

Coaching with Jake [a NEW series on LifeLube]

Check out future installments of Coaching with Jake on Thursdays, right here on LifeLube.

 I believe that we all have the resources we need to change who we are, our perception of the world and thus what we get from it.

My name is Jake Arturio Braden and I am an accredited  NLP practitioner  (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), providing essential building blocks for discovering how people think and manage their emotional states. I have many years of experience in supporting people in a range of capacities and have a strong passion for self-development and improvement.

I believe that we all have the resources we need to change who we are, our perception of the world and thus what we get from it. I feel that having some kind of life code or mission statement for ourselves is a good support tool for managing and developing our lives.

We never get it done nor are we ever complete... we are evolving beings that can be shaped and moulded by our experiences.  However we have far more power over our lives than we may care to admit.

I am reminded of that quote from Ghandi, "be the change you want to see in the world." For me this says that we have responsibilities over our lives. As gay and bisexual men we can come from a history of discrimination and having to fight for our rights etc. However rights come with responsibilities, and this can be a daunting prospect for people who have felt disempowered. However we can change or improve our lives. There are so many techniques out there that can support you to develop, grow and support yourself to achieve your goals, set goals and improve your self-esteem and hence your relationship with yourself and others.

Over the course over the coming weeks I intend to share these tips with you, sort of like attending a coaching or self-development course, or having a one-on-one session with with your own coach. I will use a holistic approach that will incorporate spirituality, which is an important part of who we are.

I like to ask questions as well... so here are some you may want to consider as we get started on this journey together:

• Do you desire to be in the driving seat of your life?
• Do you desire to be the navigator of your life?
• Do you desire to feel better about yourself?
• Do you desire to have a better life?
• Do you desire to attract the circumstances in your life that will support you to get where you want to go?
• Do you desire to take responsibility for your own life?
• Would you like to create your personal mission statement?
  

Check back next Thursday when we'll start to unpack these questions.

In the meantime, visit my Transvelopment blog, and my website. You can also find me on Facebook.

How is Lisa Dorr healthy? [lady-style]

My physical, emotional and spiritual health are all contingent on my staying clean and sober.

I live each day being grateful for being given a second chance at life.

After battling years of addiction I have learned that the key to my happiness and well being are dependent on my spiritual connection with God, getting outside of myself and giving back and keeping a positive attitude. I keep the struggles I have endured close to my chest and while I do not dwell on them I never forget what I’ve been through. A few short years ago I was at the end of my rope with no sense of purpose or desire to live. My addiction to drugs and alcohol had me trapped in a place where I saw little hope for a future. I was not living I was merely existing.

With the help of my loving family, friends and medical professionals I was able to put my past behind me and regain a new sense of self that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I have been taught so much by so many and am so blessed to have been through the experiences that I have, no matter how painful some of them have been, because without them I would not be where I am today.

I have a new zest for life and without gratitude I wouldn’t be able to recognize how precious my life truly is. I work hard in school, I commit myself to my recovery daily, I exercise, I socialize, I play with my pets, I say “thank you” everyday to all those who help and love me and most importantly I thank God for the life I have been given.

-- Lisa Dorr (lady, ally)
Chicago






How are you healthy?
Join in the conversation.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

How are you healthy? Share your thoughts on LifeLube!

Every last one of us is healthy in one way or the other. While no one is perfect, we all do something to take care of ourselves - physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually.

LifeLube's "How are you healthy?" campaign has been asking GBT men - and allies - to share the ways in which they are healthy for the last couple of years. More than a hundred folks have participated.

And we'd love for YOU to jump in today. All you need to do is send a couple of sentences (or paragraphs - length is up to you) and a pic to lifelube@gmail.com - and we will post it right here.

Do you take the stairs? Have you cut down on smoking? Do you skip desert once in awhile? Gotten back to the gym? Meditate every morning? Socialize with your friends? Take your meds on time? Have great sex? Take a deep breath and count to three when necessary? Avoid toxic people, places, and things? Do you turn off the tv and have a conversation? Do you put the scizzors down before you run?

If you're alive, you're doing something right.

We'd love to hear about it.

Read previous posts here.

Cutting the Chains of Karma: How to Change Negative Habits in 5 Steps

by David Nichtern, via Huffington Post

Sometimes our "negative" habits (like anger, pride, jealousy, craving etc.) seem to come up like a cyclone out of nowhere.

Often we might feel powerless to change them, let alone even notice that we are in the grip of what the Buddhists would call a "klesha" attack. "Klesha" may sound like Yiddish, but it's actually Sanskrit for an obscuration, or perhaps, in a more contemporary sense, a neurotic upheaval.

[Following] are five steps toward recognizing and cutting the momentum of negative habitual patterns and klesha attacks.

Read the rest.

Religious Leader Jim Wallis Urges Christians to Stand with Gays and Lesbians

The homophobic proselytizing done from pulpits each Sunday has directly contributed to the verbal, emotional, mental and physical abuse that LGBT youth face each day in school. At least some spiritual leaders are stepping up and defending these kids.

Jim Wallis, founder of Sojourners Magazine and a Christian leader is among them:


I wore purple to commemorate "Spirit Day," in memory of the many young people who have taken their own lives as a result of harassment and bullying inflicted on them because they are gay. I wore purple because I am a follower of Christ.

A bully is a person who habitually intimidates, harasses, or commits violence against those who are smaller, weaker, or more vulnerable because of their "outsider" status. A bully stands in opposition to all of what Christ taught and lived. There is broad opposition within the Christian community to bullying, especially the sort that leads to the deaths we have seen as of late. This sort of harassment is indefensible. And the stories of young kids being so bullied that they take their own lives have been heartbreaking to hear.

Read the rest at HuffPo.

Rabbi: Homophobia is the abomination

via HuffPo, by Rabbi Schmuley Boteach

Excerpt:

As an orthodox Rabbi who reveres the Bible I do not deny the Biblical prohibition on male same-sex relationships. Rather, I simply place it in context. There are 613 commandments in the Torah. One is to refrain from gay sex. Another is for men and women to marry and have children. So when Jewish gay couples come to me for counselling and tell me they have never been attracted to members of the opposite sex in their entire lives and are desperately alone, I tell them, "You have 611 commandments left. That should keep you busy. Now, go create a kosher home with a mezuzah scroll on the door. Turn off the TV on the Sabbath and share your challah with many guests. Pray to G-d the prescribed three times a day for you are His beloved children. He desires you and seeks you out."

Read all of it.

 

Exploring spirituality, in Radical Faerie style

via DallasVoice.com, by M. M. Adjarian

“Mainstream gays have always regard[ed] the euphemism, ‘faerie’ [as stigmatic]” says Paul Singleton. “Many men find it countermand[s] their ideas of masculinity, which is far from actual reality.”

Singleton is a member of the Radical Faeries, an alternative gay men’s movement started in 1979 by pioneer gay activist Harry Hay and dedicated to the spiritual exploration of gay culture and identity. He is one of about 15 locally based faeries, a few of whom gather together every Saturday for “coffee, tea and communion.”

“We are the Nature People, the lavender tribe of the Rainbow Family, in harmony with the principles of peace, justice, freedom, sustainable culture and the sacredness of the Earth. We love ceremonies, focusing on group spirit, and oneness… And we like to be pretty!” says Steven Hanes, another member of the DFW Radical Faerie community.

Read the rest.

Peter, can you point me to some gay-friendly churches?

[Peter Pointers is here 4 YOU, as a service to LifeLube readers - whatever question you may have regarding sexual health, physical health, mental/emotional and spiritual health - ask him. He will find the answers you are looking 4. helped by a team of experts. Below is a recent Q&A you may be interested to read.]

Question:   Peter, can you help point me to some gay or gay-friendly churches/congregations? I'm Catholic, but the denomination doesn't really matter.

Answer: Hi, thank you for your question. I'm glad to hear that you are seeking out places to express your spirituality. Studies consistently show that spirituality is an important component to a person's wellness. Sometimes this is easier said than done, especially when you would like a safe and affirming place as a member of the LGBT community. Luckily, there are a wealth of options around Chicago.

Since you mention a familiarity with Catholicism, you may want to start with information on the Archdiocesan Gay and Lesbian Outreach, who run a Catholic service. This site comes recommended by some of our staff. Also, the Catholic community of Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church.

Another option, the Episcopal Diocese of Chicago is an affirming congregation. One specific location that comes recommended is the Church of Our Savior on Clark and Fullerton.

These are just a few specifically recommended options. However, there are MANY more options across Chicago from Wicker Park to Boystown, Northside to Southside.

For a huge and helpful list with lots of options check this link out.

I hope those references help. If you have trouble making a decision, feel free to drop me a line back and I'll try to find more information more specific to your needs. Also, if readers of this post have ideas, please leave them as a comment.


Be Well,
Peter
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Music Makes the People Come Together

by Daisy Shaver

There is still a little glitter around my eyes from the weekend. I showered but decided to leave the remnants. I mean, I work at the queer health center!

Last night, a bunch of faeries carried our drums down to the Hudson River. It was blistering hot. For the past 6 years, these drummers have slapped skin to share our beats and dance with the throngs of people that come to the River after the massively long Gay Pride Parade. I love the parade. But this event has become one of the highlights of Pride weekend. The majority of the crowd are African American and Latino young people. Fierce outfits and crazy carrying on.

A handful of us left Club Lum's and ambled onto the river walk. When we arrived to the spot where we usually play, a group of African-American lesbians just wasn't having it--we white boys with our drums. One said, "Hey, this is my spot!" I shouted back, "I thought this was OUR spot," gesturing to us and the crowds. "What these white boys gonna do," she said.

Eddie said, "Not yet Michel, wait." We cooled off. We gathered our energy. We took it all in. Then we began to LAY IT DOWN! Soon the sisters had scooted their chairs around to watch what was unfolding.

I am finding it difficult to put my emotions into words about last evening. Today as I spoke about it, I kept welling up with grateful emotion. First off, there is nothing like the communication between drummers and dancers. We are speaking on a level beyond words. It's feeling. So when we began to hit our groove, people began to gather around us to drink that in. There is this sense of kindred spirit that is beyond compare. A sense of unity develops when the crowds move and shake to the sound coming from you. Black, white, yellow and brown become one!

Pretty soon, a skinny little woman stepped into the circle and began to dance. She became maniacal and trance-like. Her body stiffened, and jerked to our rhythms. Others joined force. When you drum, the dancers only charge you on. When she was ready to take a pause, this gal came up to each of us and looked right in our eyes as she shook her body. She didn't speak. But she communicated thanks in such a deep way with just that look. The same thing happened over and over. They were all women of color. If they weren't looking us in the eye, they were bending over and shaking their ass to the beat right in front of each of us to show they were with us.

Then it just got down right OFF THE HOOK!! Couples, triplets all swinging and bucking. One hot guy was swinging this sassy mama bucking up and down bumping their pelvises together. Dykes were grinding snatch and dry humping like nobody's business. At dusk, two tall drinks of water stepped up to the circle and surveyed the scene. Then one of them began to vogue. I mean VOGUE! The other then stepped in after him. Grrrl! They would drop from standing right to flat on their backs. Stupendous!

White folks just do not get into their bodies this way. We just don't. This event has taught me that each year. It's made me appreciate how white man's religion has drawn us out of sensual pleasure.

This isn't to say the white faeries that danced didn't turn it out either. As a matter of fact, the faeries really have it going on when it comes to dancing together. And we were dancing together with these masses of people. Hundreds of people ambled by, stopped, looked, maybe joined in. And in these moments we all danced a tribal ritual that tied us all up together. We were in church. THIS was our religion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ode to Sistah Moon Daisy Shaver 1996

Last time I say ya,
Last time I saw ya,
Last time I saw ya
So big Sistah Moon.

You was shinin' strong
On me-n-my drum
Beatin' rhythms so fine
Speakin', groovin', lovin', movin'!

Last time I saw ya,
Last time I saw ya,
I was makin' music
Like I was makin' love.

You were movin' waves
And movin' through us
Reflecting bright like heat
A sound flowing like the tide.

Last time I saw ya
Brothers grooved in cosmic rhythm.
I heard their hearts beat
And saw souls move their hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm kinda weepy as I close this little missive. Sweet little tears of gratitude trickle out. Like Dickie Dworkin said, "Daisy, we are turning the white patriarchy on it's ear!!"

Music will do that.

How is Anne Statton healthy? [lady-style]

I’m famous for these dark green drinks.

 

I follow a plant-based diet of living and raw foods.  This is kind of scary for my colleagues and co-workers who see me drinking a jar of dark green smoothie every morning.  I’m kind of famous for it!

I always get asked what’s in it, but almost never why I do it.  The drink is made up of celery, cucumber, parsley, spirulina, coconut water, spinach or dandelion greens and mango.  The sweetness of the mango offsets the savory of the vegetables.  The plant-based diet has really changed my life.  Switching over to this diet helped me to lose over 80 pounds, drop my allergy and asthma daily medications as well as a reflux drug.  The food has everything I need!  I know it’s not for everyone but it really helps me to feel great every single day.

I recently had surgery and my green drinks helped me to recover faster and to detox all the anesthesia and drugs from the hospital.  Now, I’m training for a triathlon and I intend to succeed! 

My spiritual practice also helps me to stay healthy.  I’m a Nichiren Buddhist (SGI-USA) and I chant every day for happiness and peace around the world.  Keeping a focus on peace through the happiness of each individual helps me to remember that we are all in this together and that we must all win together.

-- Anne Statton [lady,ally]
Chicago




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How is Danny Sanders healthy?

When I think about my physical health 

I think about soul food. 

 

Not the fried chicken, sweet potato, and dressing, which is real nice I might say, but it’s the love of my Granny, the lessons of my PaPa, the smiles of my aunts and the arguments with my uncles that keep me physically fit. The determination of my nieces and nephews to be just like the grown folk, and the laughs of my cousin helps me to know that everything is going to be alright.

Mentally I trust in the relationship that I have built with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. So I attend weekly worship services at the Greater True Vine Miracle Temple of Jesus Christ, Inc., where I can express who I am on a spiritual level and refuel for this journey called life.

Working in the field of HIV/AIDS Prevention I sometimes get a little tired along the road, but with my full understanding of who God is to me, I find peace and joy for another day’s journey.

-- Danny Sanders,
St. Louis, Missouri

How are you healthy?
Join in the conversation.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
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Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign