Sunday, December 30, 2012

The BEST of Lifelube - "Are we Bi or is it a Lie?" From Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Are we Bi or is it a Lie?

by Barbieboy07

I'm the third letter DAMN IT,
and I want to start
being treated like it!

Why are bisexuals looked down upon in the LGBT community? Some people say that bisexual people are just confused, greedy and selfish, but it isn't like that at all. Of course there are somepeople who claim to be bisexual that aren't really bi, they could be having same sex romps for attention or to seem adventurous. Bisexuals want to love and possibly start a family just like anyone else does, and we are not all promiscuous (though some of us are), and it isn't fair to lump all of us together in that category.

The bi-phobia going on within our own community baffles me. Some gays wouldn't even consider dating a bisexual, just because they are bi. I can't understand how gays and lesbians can be so prejudiced against bisexuals. Gay people are unfortunately the product of a heterosexual and orthodox-thinking society, where anything we don't understand is categorized as weird, strange, or queer. Some hold the same mentality that their straight counterparts do about individuality. DARE someone make a decision about me
based solely on my sexual orientation...

I've had gay men tell me to my face that I'm not bisexual, and that there is no such thing as being bisexual and that I'm just a greedy fag who wants the best of both worlds, gay sex and straight marriage. I was so angry I started crying, how DARE someone make a decision about me based solely on my sexual orientation, and the nerve of a gay guy (someone who should know how that feels) telling me what I am and that my sexual preference is a phase? I believe he felt that I was copping out, by not “admitting” to being gay but still acknowledging my feelings for men, he probably saw me as a liar or someone who is afraid to be himself. But I am proud of who I am, I never lie and say I'm straight or I'm gay in different circles, I may refer to myself as a fag but thats because I'm more effeminate than straight boys.

Bisexual men and women out there have been getting a bad rap for ages, and I'm sure I speak for most of us when I say I am tired of being treated like I don't belong in LGBT. I'm the third letter DAMN IT, and I want to start being treated like it! Being “Bi”sexual means we aren't biased in our sexual orientation, we are open to both men and woman, and can love bot h sexes in our relationships. It does not mean that we like sleeping with everything that moves, or that we can't make up our minds on which sex we like more. Being bi isn't a choice, it's the same as being gay or straight, we are who we are.

There are some people who are not being true to who they are. I have always believed that “real” bisexual people are people who's love transcends gender. ”Fake” bisexual people don't love equally and give the rest of us a bad name. So far I've only seen women pretending to be bi, they'll make out with another girl just to get the attention of guys. I've had friends who called themselves bisexual but only hooked up with girls when they were drunk or when they were trying to impress some guy. “I kissed a girl and I liked it”, these words have been blaring at every club in the city for the past month, but have we really listened to the words? Katy Perry's song “I kissed a girl” is a straight girl's anthem, it isn't declaring that she is “bi” just that she kissed a girl and it was fun. But being bi is more than fun, it's a lifestyle, well at least for me it is.

One question I always get asked when I let someone know I'm bisexual is “What sex are you more attracted to?” or “Who d o you see yourself marrying a man or a woman?”. I have to laugh when someone asks me this, then I reply that I like both men and women equally and I have no idea who I will marry, I can't make a decision like that on someone's sex alone. One thing I am sure of is this, I want to start a family one day, if that means marrying a woman and popping out babies so be it. I've told this to some of my gay friends and they looked at me with cynicism, calling me straight or a breeder. I can never be straight, nor do I want to be, I just want to be happy like everyone else does.

You already know how I feel about bisexuality, but how do you personally feel about it? Would you ever date a bisexual or have you before? Do you think it's just a transitional phase or a definite state?

As a society we really need to get over this bi-phobia and try to understand that 3rd letter of queer love a little bit more.

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