The Gay Generation Gap

via New York Magazine, by Mark Harris

Forty years after Stonewall, the gay movement has never been more united. So why do older gay men and younger ones often seem so far apart?

This week, tens of thousands of gay people will converge on New York City for Pride Week, and tens of thousands of residents will come out to play as well. Some of us will indulge in clubbing and dancing, and some of us will bond over our ineptitude at both. Some of us will be in drag and some of us will roll our eyes at drag. We will rehash arguments so old that they’ve become a Pride Week staple; for instance, is the parade a joyous expression of liberation, or a counterproductive freak show dominated by needy exhibitionists and gawking news cameras? Other debates will be more freshly minted: Is President Obama’s procrastinatory approach to gay-rights issues an all-out betrayal, or just pragmatic incrementalism? We’ll have a good, long, energizing intra-family bull session about same-sex marriage and the New York State Senate, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, Project Runway and Adam Lambert.

And at some point, a group of gay men in their forties or fifties will find themselves occupying the same bar or park or restaurant or subway car or patch of pavement as a group of gay men in their twenties. We will look at them. They will look at us. We will realize that we have absolutely nothing to say to one another.

And the gay generation gap will widen.

Read the rest.

Check out the LifeLube/Project CRYSP "Generation You" podcast forum on this very topic.

Generation You Podcast is now LIVE

On this special edition, Project CRYSP, LifeLube and Feast of Fun bring you a podcast forum taped in front of a live audience at the Center on Halsted in Chicago, Illinois last Wednesday, May 20.

Click here for the podcast.

We have a THINK PINK TANK- a multi-generational panel of experts on how to break down the barriers when it comes to age differences: Bill Rydwels, a founder of TPAN (Test Positive Aware Network) and a member of SAGE, the Center on Halsted’s Advocate and Service group for GLBT Seniors; Tony Alvarado-Rivera, a coordinator at the Broadway Youth Center’s LGBT Mentor Program, which aims to build healthy relationships between generations in our community; and Chris Bartlett, the director of the Greater Philadelphia LGBT Leadership Initiative.

Listen as we take you on a deep discussion on what it means to age as a gay man and how we can bridge the gap to become a happier, healthier and more connected society.

Plus questions from the audience live! You don’t want to miss it.

SAVE THE DATE - The next live podcast forum will be held on August 17 at the Center on Halsted, in conjunction with the 2009 National LGBTI Health Summit. Stay tuned for details and RSVP info.

Generation You pics/video - courtesy Jason Smith

Generation You, a live podcast forum exploring the age barriers in our community, was held Wednesday, May 20 at the Center on Halsted with about 60 participants - who fought the urges of both Mother Nature (it was a beautiful day in Chicago yesterday) and the finale of American Idol and joined us for a stimulating conversation.

The event was sponsored by LifeLube, Broadway Youth Center, AGING AS WE ARE: It's Our Time, Project CRYSP, Center on Halsted's Youth and SAGE Programs, the Chicago Task Force on LGBT Aging, and FeastofFun.com.

Click here to see the Generation You flyer. Click here to check out info on past forums.

Panelists Tony Alvarado-Rivera of Broadway Youth Center (pictured above right), Chris Bartlett of the LGBT Leadership Initiative, and Bill Rydwels (above left) of SAGE discussed ways to bridge the generational gap in the LGBT community.

Stay tuned for the podcast. Click here for more Jason Smith pics.

More pics, by Jason Smith, can be found here.

Stay tuned for the Feast of Fun podcast of the event.

How is Tony Alvarado-Rivera healthy?

[Tony is a featured panelist at the May 20

live podcast forum Generation You - this Wednesday.]

As a gender-non-conforming Brown Queer Chubby Chican@ fighting for justice and liberation--being healthy, practicing self-care and healing is extremely important to me.

I find that working within an anti-oppression framework is a great foundation for keeping my mind, body, heart and spirit healthy. Living in a world-especially a country where people are constantly being ostracized, harassed, shamed, dehumanized and oppressed can be overwhelming when you are in struggle for liberation.

Using an anti-oppression framework, allows me to understand my own powers and privileges and recognize how not to be oppressive to other communities and people but rather be in solidarity and allyship with other movements and individuals. It allows me to be held accountable to my community and allow for change.

I also find healing by continuing my path to being a curander@. Following in the footsteps of my abuelita, she has taught me the power of faith and healing. Whether it's connecting with my ancestors, my present or the future--I know that I am surrounded by beautiful energy that comes from the earth and my people. This helps me find my center and live a healthy life.

-- Tony Alvarado-Rivera
Chicago

How are you healthy?
Join in the conversation.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign.

How is Solomon Arnold healthy?

[Solomon is a featured panelist at the May 20

live podcast forum Generation You - this Wednesday.]

I am healthy by practicing safe sex, while going to the doctor twice a year and sometimes to specialty physicians for vanity reasons (like a dermatologist.)

Also, because that's never enough, I count calories to make sure I don't over eat or under consume proteins vitamins and etc.

I exercise every other day - 10 miles from Hyde Park to downtown and back.

I try to live a mildly holistic lifestyle to enhance overall mental wellness because its just as important.

Besides exercising and eating healthy, I listen to music, write my thoughts, pray and relax to clear my head - allowing me to feel as healthy as I am blessed to be (word to the wise).

-- Solomon Arnold aka Solomon Infiniti
Chicago

How are you healthy?
Join in the conversation.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign.

Have you RSVPd for Generation You?

This coming Wednesday - 6pm - 9pm
Center on Halsted

May 20

Click image for more info and to RSVP NOW

How is Chris Bartlett healthy?

[Chris - in pink - is a featured panelist at the May 20

live podcast forum Generation You.]

They say people often get involved in the line of work that they most need for themselves, and that is probably true for me as a long-time health advocate. I have always been drawn to issues of health, probably because I was a young gay during the height of the AIDS epidemic, and everyone I knew was thinking and talking about that aspect of health, so health was like the water that I swam in. But it's one thing to work in a field, and it's another actually to put the lessons of ones work to bear on ones own life. Here I'll focus on some of the ways that I think I have been successful at incorporating what I've learned.

Community: I've always felt instinctively that community and participation in community are valuable elements to a healthy life. When I am isolated, I am less able to get access to the things I need to build my health, and when I am in community I do get that access. So I have sought out as many communities as possible to provide support. Of course, the benefits of community correlate to the level of participation, and I have focused on participating in a few communities in which I feel that I am cared about and supported. I often think, "If I were in trouble, which communities of people would drop everything to support me?" The Radical Faeries, both in Philadelphia and nationally, have played a huge role for me in terms of such a supportive community. If I were to sum up what they provide, it would be a loving support of everything I am up to, and willingness to help me with challenges that arise in all areas of my health. I also have an informal "Board of Directors" of close friends who are aware of the details of my health and welfare, and on whose care and kindness I depend.

Creativity: I've played piano since I was a kid, and over the years I have noticed that I play the piano most in times when I am feeling good. I can use creativity as a barometer of things being out of balance in various areas of my life-- creativity is usually the first thing to disappear when I am not well. I also know that increasing my creative output has a great impact on all areas of my health-- I physically feel more energetic and awake, and my mental, emotional, and spiritual health also benefit.

Cat: I could say that my cat has been better for my mental health than therapy and support groups combined, and that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but Madeleine the cat is a sweet and calming influence on my life, and seems to know intuitively when I am feeling lonely or depressed. She's also a reminder that someone counts on my health for her own well-being. If I'm not well, I'm not available to take care of her needs, and she lets me know in many creative ways. So I am a fan of pets, whether you are a cat person, a dog person, or a lover of other species.

The key to health for me has to become aware of the telltale signs that things are out of balance-- each of the three examples above provide these signs to me. Often the signs are small: Have I flossed my teeth recently (basic self-care) ? Am I taking too many taxis (life too rushed) ? Did I have breakfast (life too rushed) ? And I aim to keep an eye on these barometers of health so that I know when I am off track. Perhaps most important of all, I am gentle with myself when I am.

-- Chris Bartlett
Philadelphia

How are you healthy?
Join in the conversation.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign.

Gay Adults! Gay Adults! Where Are You?

Join LifeLube for a live podcast community forum - Generation You - exploring the age barriers we must overcome and the generation gaps we should bridge - this coming Wednesday, May 20. Featuring the Feast of Fun and fabulous panelists - and YOU.

Gay Adults! Gay Adults! Where Are You?
Trusting the River Of Life

By Don Kilhefner
This article was published in the Summer, 2006 issue of White Crane Journal.


Excerpt:

ADULTHOOD IS ARCHETYPAL

Carl Jung first coined the term "archetypal." He used it to mean intrinsic images and patterns of behavior that are found everywhere in our species—hero, warrior, wise old man, healer, trickster. In other words, for something to be archetypal it must be found in all periods of history and in virtually every culture. Cultural anthropologists tell us that whenever and wherever humans are found there seems to be a patterning of life into four stages called youth, adult, elder, and ancestor. Moreover, each of these stages have significant social roles to play in the village. There is a profound and fundamental interdependence between these stages and societal roles upon which the health and vitality of the village or tribe are largely based. For the sake of simplicity, one might say ancestors look out for our welfare and protection in this lifetime both on an individual and tribal level. They carry a vast and rich storehouse of knowledge which shamans, dream-workers, and vision seekers in the tribe can access directly if necessity arises.

Elders are responsible for the spiritual well-being of the village (Jung called them spiritual fathers and mothers). They facilitate the transmission of a certain type of spiritual information, knowledge and wisdom from one generation to the next. Elders think about themselves, about conditions in the village, and about seven generations yet to come. They carry external authority, internal authority and, due to close proximity, ancestor authority. You cannot have an alive and healthy community unless there are elders consciously doing eldering. Unfortunately in the gay community today men simply become "olders" not "elders." Generally they retire, disappear, or are discarded just when they are most needed and most valuable to those coming after them.

Adults are responsible for the material well-being of the village. Largely they provide for the economic vitality and physical survival of the community. Adults raise the young, protect the community, make sure certain ceremonies are performed, initiate young men in manhood (adulthood), and pass onto youth practical information and lived knowledge. Adults care about themselves and about something larger than themselves—the state of the community or tribe. From a vantage point of 40 consecutive years of frontline work in the gay community, I suggest that it is the gay adult that is now largely missing from the community picture (along with conscious gay elders) and his absence is having serious, negative consequences to our communal and spiritual evolution as a people. In the late 19th century before the young Vivekananda and the other young men showed up at the Kali temple in Calcutta, Ramakrishna would go up on the temple roof and shout "Boys! Boys! Where are you?" in all directions. Eventually they showed up. Sometimes in anger and frustration, I want to climb up on the roof of the local White Party and shout into the four directions: "Gay adults! Gay adults! Where are you?"

Youth symbolizes the future of the tribe and any healthy community will treat the ripening of its young people with the utmost seriousness, and attention, in the process showing respect towards the future and, particularly, to those who went before (ancestors). In youth the central organizing principles are having fun, adventure and screwing up, learning about the opening of the heart and sex, and seeding creative imagination and exciting possibilities for the future. In our culture youth is self-absorbed, thinking largely only about himself. On a 21-year old this youthful narcissism seems
age-appropriate and even charming if one does not need to be around it too much. On a 41 year old it looks grotesque. Without the presence of conscious, functioning adults in the community, a self-absorbed youth can easily become a "lost boy"—lost in paint ball, video games, and cyber/cell phones; lost in Madonna groupie-hood; lost in the phrase "whatever." The gay community is filled with them of every age. Bereft of adult support and encouragement to grow up and detached from ordinary reality, these "lost boys" find it nearly impossible to activate and fulfill their promise in the world and their gifts are often wasted.

Read the whole thing here.

And we hope you will join us May 20 for Generation You.

Mind that Gap!

Mind that gap and break the age barrier.

Come and share your vision and make new friends of all ages.

Wednesday, May 20, beginning at 6:00 p.m. (with light snacks) at the Center on Halsted.

Sponsored by LifeLube, Broadway Youth Center, AGING AS WE ARE: It's Our Time, Project CRYSP, Center on Halsted's Youth and SAGE Programs, the Chicago Task Force on LGBT Aging, and FeastofFun.com.

Click here to see the flyer.

Click here to RSVP.

The event is free, but RSVP is required.

Please arrive early. Blog about it. Everybody welcome.

How we are healthy depends on intergenerational support.