Showing posts with label middle age gay men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label middle age gay men. Show all posts

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Why We Lie About Our Age

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Robert Levithan

"If people knew my real age, I'd never work again." I have heard this plaint more than once. The last time was the day before yesterday, when talking about age with a vivacious, successful Brazilian friend. She doesn't dare tell the truth about her age.

Why do most people lie about their age? Because they think they have to. Our culture at large -- and our gay male culture, specifically -- embody ageism.

Young is good. Older is less good.

On Facebook few people put their year of birth. For online dating sites, not to mention hookup sites, there is such pressure to lie that those of us who tell the truth are odd men out.

When I post my age as 60, men think I'm somewhere between 64 and 75. Again, why do we lie about our age?

Ageism, yes. Internalized ageism, as well. Internalized prejudice is when we operate out of a learned prejudice about something we are: I have been exploring my own internalized homophobia, anti-Semitism, and AIDS-phobia, however subtle or overt, for years.

I lead workshops where we have looked at our internalized prejudice, such as racism, classism, and genderism.

How do we know when we are operating from internalized prejudice? When we try to "pass" without cause.

When we are living in the belief that what we are is less than what other people are; when we have bought into other people's prejudices (which do exist) and perceive danger even when it doesn't exist.

There are situations where honesty about my sexual orientation, my HIV status, or my religious heritage could get me killed.

I would lie or hide if my life were at stake. However, often I observe "passing" behavior when there is no danger.

Most of us will not suffer harm if we are honest about our sexuality or our age. We do, however, suffer psychically, from constant denial of the truth about who or what we.


Read the rest

Monday, February 20, 2012

Gay and Gray: What We Need to Know About Aging Gay Men

via Huffpost Gay Voices, by Perry N. Halkitis Ph.D, M.S

In 2011 the Institute of Medicine released a historic report documenting the health disparities faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) individuals.

This report was call to action for researchers, practitioners, and policy makers to address the burgeoning and often underserved health needs of the LGBT population. In the United States these health disparities coincide with an epidemiological shift: the aging of the American population.

Due to increases in life expectancy and aging of the "baby boomer" generation, or those born between 1946 and 1964, approximately one third of the United States population will be 55 years or older by 2014.

While no direct population figures exists, extrapolations drawn from multiple sources suggests that within the population of older Americans, approximately 1.2 to 1.4 million will be older gay men, a figure more pronounced in urban areas such as New York City, where it is estimated that approximately 5 percent of gay men are 50 or older.

A significant proportion of these older gay men, both nationally and in New York City, live with HIV, and as a group this generation of gay men, to whom I have previously referred as "the AIDS generation," have all been directly impacted by the epidemic.

Despite these critical population characteristics, we poorly understand the health care needs of aging Americans, who, by all indications, will live longer and will have very different expectations regarding their care than previous generations.

And while we fail to truly understand the needs of an the overall aging American populace, we have even more limited information on the health disparities experienced by aging baby boomers who are gay, and only minuscule amounts of knowledge about those who are older, gay, and HIV-positive.

Without such knowledge, we are not equipped to provide effective and meaningful health care to men of my generation.

The facts speak for themselves. Older gay men are more likely than heterosexual peers to have experienced a range of negative mental and physical health conditions throughout their lifetimes.

Most notable of these is the AIDS epidemic, which has unduly impacted men of my generation. To date, gay men account for nearly 50 percent of AIDS-related deaths as well as HIV infections, despite representing only 2 percent of the U.S. population.

Gay men also experience heightened levels of riskier health conditions such as substance abuse and other mental health disorders as compared with their heterosexual peers. Finally, many of this generation of gay men came of age at a time when homosexuality was considered a psychiatric illness.

It was not until 1973 that the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder.

In effect, the confluence of these factors (homosexuality as a disease, the AIDS epidemic, and the socially imposed stigma of being gay) have unduly and negatively impacted the lives of older gay men, creating emotional and psychosocial stressors that undermine the well-being of men of my generation, a reality that extends into the lives of a new generation of gay men.

While recent advances in gay civil rights are a sign of progress, the fact remains that as a group we still remain under attack -- attacks that perpetuate the stress in our lives and compromise our health. Ecological studies indicate that gay men who live and love in states where gay civil rights are more advanced experience better health outcomes.

The recent passage of marriage equality in the state of New York may, over time, impart such a benefit to future generations of gay men and may counter the venom of politicians such as Rick Santorum and the rest of the Republican presidential hopefuls.

But those of us of advanced age cannot undo the years of victimization and stigmatization, both subtle and not-so-subtle, that we have experienced in our families, in our communities, in our workplaces, and in our nation.

Therefore, it imperative that the delivery of health care to my generation of gay men -- the AIDS generation -- focus on the totality of our existence and consider our life experiences, including how the devastation of the AIDS crisis and a lifetime of bigotry have compromised and shaped our health.

Yet we have little data on the health of older gay men, or gay men in general. Because national, population-based studies do not incorporate questions assessing sexual orientation, and because studies focused on sexual behaviors among older adults include only small numbers of gay men, we lack nationally representative data on the risks, resilience, and needs, as well as the physical, mental, and neurocognitive health, of this population.

In the absence of such knowledge, the delivery of service to an aging gay population will fail to be informed by science, and moreover, policies regarding health care and federal funding will continue to neglect our needs.


Read the rest

Friday, January 27, 2012

They Called Me a Slut at 82

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by David Leddick

"The 80-year-old slut." That's what a friend calls me. "82," I say, correcting him. "82."

We have to completely rethink what age numbers stand for.

Yes, I am 82, and yes, I have a lover who is well under 30, and yes, I have an excellent sex life with him. Our relationship began when he said to me, "I usually don't like guys, but you give me a boner." For someone over 80, this is good news.

I told yet another friend, a woman, in this case, "He either really is into me or he's the best actor in the world." She said, "What's the difference?" and she's right.

As the baby boomers bulge over the 65-year mark, the time has come when what we think we will be doing in the latter part of our lives will change, must change.

If you may easily live to 95, do you really plan to sit about for 30 years, from 65 to 95? That's a third of your life.

I prefer to think that 80 to 90 is just late middle age, and we have to be ready for it. We have to run our lives and not let our lives run us. Exercise.

Control all that eating. Do all these things that we always wanted to do and have not done yet. Our lives are meant to be lived, and in that final third we can do it.

Baby boomers (and even those younger) will find themselves having a shift in their thinking as to who they are and what their potential is.

The attitude of younger people in the 21st century is bound to filter upward, and those over 65 will not be living as the previous generation did when they reached that age.


Read the rest

Monday, June 8, 2009

Midlife is Sexy - Dating Tips for the 40+ Gay Man

Dating For The 40+ Gay Man: Seven Steps To Success

via GAYTWOGETHER

Dating can be hard enough at times, but the situation can be made that much more challenging for those single gay men who represent the age 40 and up crowd. In a society where youth and beauty are highly valued, many middle-aged men report feeling segregated and unappreciated in dating pools, making it difficult to meet and sustain relationships with potential dating prospects.

The problem can seem even more compounded in the gay community in which the emphasis on youth and brawn is amplified, causing many mature gay men to feel undesirable and like outsiders within gay circles. They feel unwanted and that their age hinders them and limits the pool of men available to them for dating, particularly when they report being rejected by men in their own cohort for younger guys.

Ageism, or discrimination against someone because of his age, plagues many different layers of our culture—and it also can and does rear its ugly head in the gay dating world. This “over-the-hill” mentality is very damaging, robbing us of the opportunity to really experience life, take risks toward goals, and make the most of what we have (if we let it!). This case is illustrated in the comment of a former 29-year old client: “I turn 30 later this year and then I officially am old! I’ll never have a boyfriend now! I feel like my life is over and it’s all downhill from here on out!”

It is hoped that this article will prove all that wrong and provide you with some tips for maximizing your midlife dating success! While the reality is that ageism does exist and there are obstacles in the dating jungle (at any age), these hurdles do not have to dictate the outcome of your love-life. In actuality, your stage-of-life puts you in an advantageous position to conquer this adversity. With your life experience and history, you probably have a greater repertoire of coping skills, resiliency, sense of self, assertiveness, self-esteem, and an expansive support system and resources. This will take you far and makes you a very good catch!

So let’s push aside those fears that you won’t be able to attract someone after you reach a certain age. Let’s destroy that stereotype that all older gay men are unhappy, lonely, and camp out at the local strip bar every night “trolling.” It’s nonsense! YOU make your life what you want it to be and “you’re only as old as you feel”, as the “old” saying goes. Midlife is sexy! And here are seven tips to help boost your dating success as a 40+ single gay man to enhance your readiness for a relationship!

Get the 7 tips here.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Generation You Podcast is now LIVE

On this special edition, Project CRYSP, LifeLube and Feast of Fun bring you a podcast forum taped in front of a live audience at the Center on Halsted in Chicago, Illinois last Wednesday, May 20.

Click here for the podcast.

We have a THINK PINK TANK- a multi-generational panel of experts on how to break down the barriers when it comes to age differences: Bill Rydwels, a founder of TPAN (Test Positive Aware Network) and a member of SAGE, the Center on Halsted’s Advocate and Service group for GLBT Seniors; Tony Alvarado-Rivera, a coordinator at the Broadway Youth Center’s LGBT Mentor Program, which aims to build healthy relationships between generations in our community; and Chris Bartlett, the director of the Greater Philadelphia LGBT Leadership Initiative.

Listen as we take you on a deep discussion on what it means to age as a gay man and how we can bridge the gap to become a happier, healthier and more connected society.

Plus questions from the audience live! You don’t want to miss it.

SAVE THE DATE - The next live podcast forum will be held on August 17 at the Center on Halsted, in conjunction with the 2009 National LGBTI Health Summit. Stay tuned for details and RSVP info.


Monday, April 13, 2009

Generation You (yes, you!)

What are ways to connect across generations without accusations of being a pervert or a gold digger?

Come and share your vision, make new friends, and help break the age barriers in our community!

Wednesday, May 20, beginning at 6:00 p.m. at the Center on Halsted
.

Sponsored by LifeLube, Broadway Youth Center, AGING AS WE ARE: It's Our Time, Project CRYSP, Center on Halsted's Youth and SAGE Programs, the Chicago Task Force on LGBT Aging, and FeastofFun.com.

Click here to see the flyer.

Click here to RSVP.

The event is free, but RSVP is required
.

Please arrive early. Blog about it. Everybody welcome.

How we are healthy depends on intergenerational support.


Monday, December 1, 2008

Older HIV-positive gay men as likely to have risky sex as younger gay men with HIV

A significant number of people living with HIV in London are aged over 50, researchers report in the December edition of Sexually Transmitted Infections. The study was conducted amongst patients attends NHS HIV clinics in north-east London. Overall, 10% of patients were aged over 50, and this increased to one-in-seven gay men, the primary focus of the research.

Another finding of the study was that the proportion of gay men aged 50-plus reporting unprotected sex with men who were HIV-negative or whose HIV status they did not know, was similar to that reported by younger gay men....

..."Positive prevention programmes should target HIV-positive gay men of all ages because older gay men with HIV were just as likely to report high-risk sexual behaviour as younger gay men."

Read the whole item on Aidsmap.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Still sexy in the city - 51 is the new 21

Loving this!



Yesterday, Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC) announced the launch of a new advertising campaign aimed at raising awareness and facilitating dialogue about HIV and AIDS among persons over 50 years old. The campaign, supported by the M·A·C AIDS Fund, appears on phone kiosks and
in free publications throughout the City.


Click here to view the 50+ Life.Long print ads and to learn more about the campaign.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Why are gay men in mid-life getting HIV?

I want to share this piece. It's a must read for all of us in any way concerned or interested in gay men's health.
Jim

--------

From GAY CITY NEWS:


Why Are So Many Mid-Life Gay Men Getting HIV?

By: SPENCER COX AND BRUCE KELLERHOUSE, PH.D.
03/15/2007

New data released by the city's department of health show that the highest rates of new HIV infections are among gay men 35 to 49 years old. These findings are alarming and, to some, perplexing.

Why are so many mid-life gay men who were able to avoid HIV infection for so long now taking risks that are exposing them to the disease?

We believe that one common thread runs through most of these men's life histories - they came out and/or lived during the death-saturated culture of the 1980s and early to mid-1990s.

Mid-life gay men have lived most of their adult lives during the worst of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, experiencing the loss of partners, friends, and people in their community. As witnesses to so much illness, death, and loss, their voices have seldom been heard and their needs largely overlooked. Having once been the activists, caregivers, and volunteers for our community, many mid-life gay men now feel invisible and isolated. Not only lives were lost, during this period, but entire social networks and ways of living disappeared too.

The traumatic effects of AIDS-related losses were closely studied between 1988 and 1996. By 1988, gay men had already on average lost six lovers, friends, and/or family members. Researchers have shown that people who had more experiences of AIDS-related loss also had higher levels of traumatic stress response symptoms and recreational drug and sedative use.

However, almost no effort has been made to study the long-term impact of the AIDS epidemic on mid-life gay men, or to determine whether current elevated levels of risk-taking behaviors in gay men are related to the trauma of surviving one of the worst epidemics in our history. That lack of attention may now have come home to roost - in rising rates of risky behavior that are secondary to the effects of unprocessed traumatic responses to decades-old losses that haunt our daily conscious and unconscious lives as mid-life gay men.

Friendships have been shown to play an important role in health maintenance and in provision of care during poor health. The relationship between friendships and health is particularly important for gay men, for whom social networks often take the place of missing biological families. Conversely, many health problems that are now common among gay men are made worse by loneliness and lack of social opportunities.

Having survived the HIV pandemic, urban gay men in mid-life may be particularly vulnerable to the negative effects of decimated social networks. Difficulty in making and sustaining relationships is a characteristic effect of traumatized people. The normal stresses associated with mid-life, together with the lingering effects of loss associated with survival through the epidemic, may make it difficult for these men to create and maintain new groups of close friends.

Furthermore, gay men have high levels of depression and anxiety disorders, another characteristic of people who have survived trauma. Studies estimate that gay men have about twice the levels of depression than are found in Americans generally. Depression is strongly linked to high-risk behavior, including drug use, alcoholism, and risky sex.

The methamphetamine epidemic that has swept through urban gay communities also contributes to high levels of new HIV infections. A recent study from the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center, which offers HIV testing, found that one in three new HIV-positive tests was associated with meth use. About one in 10 gay men in New York City report recent meth use.

In some ways, gay men in mid-life are at the center of a "perfect storm," in which multiple problems converge to create a very high-risk environment. Dr. Ron Stall, one of the leaders in studying gay men's health, has shown that different kinds of psychosocial problems, such as depression, drug use, and partner violence, interact to create higher levels of risk for HIV - in other words, the more psychosocial problems that a person experiences, the higher their risk of getting infected.

We can't just address these problems independently, but need to understand the dangerous ways they work together.

If we are to lower HIV infection rates for this population, we need a renewed focus on HIV prevention for gay men. Many of our AIDS organizations are missing in action when it comes to gay men. They've assumed that, because we know how to have safer sex, their job is done. But these data show that the problem isn't lack of information.

Handing a 45-year-old man another safer sex brochure just isn't going to do the job. We urgently need to create programs that directly address the real reasons that gay men engage in high-risk behavior.

Our AIDS organizations need to be experimenting with new programs and new models to prevent HIV infection, but most of them are nowhere to be found.

The development of effective treatments for HIV disease has given many of us a new lease on life. But if we are to make the most of this opportunity, we will have to understand the legacy of this plague - what it has done to us. We owe that much to those who fought and died, and to those of us who are fighting and have survived.

Spencer Cox is the founder and executive director of the Medius Institute for Gay Men's Health. Bruce Kellerhouse, Ph.D. is the co-founder of HIV Forum and a psychologist in independent practice.

----------------------
Jim Pickett
via 'Berry

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

select key words

2007 National HIV Prevention Conference 2009 National LGBTI Health Summit 2011 LGBTI Health Summit 2012 Gay Men's Health Summit 2012 International AIDS Conference ACT Up AIDS AIDS Foundation of Chicago Africa BUTT Bisexual Bisexual Health Summit Brian Mustanski Center on Halsted Charles Stephens Chicago Chicago Black Gay Men's Caucus Chicago Task Force on LGBT Substance Use and Abuse Chris Bartlett Coaching with Jake Congress David Halperin David Munar Dr. James Holsinger Dr. Jesus Ramirez-Valles Dr. Rafael Diaz Dr. Ron Stall ENDA Ed Negron Eric Rofes FTM Feast of Fun Feel the love... Friday is for Faeries Gay Men's Health Summit 2010 HCV HIV HIV care HIV drugs HIV negative HIV positive HIV prevention HIV stigma HIV strategic plan HIV testing HIV/AIDS HPV Howard Brown Health Center IML IRMA Illinois International AIDS Conference Jim Pickett LGBT LGBT adoption LGBT culture LGBT health LGBT rights LGBT seniors LGBT youth LGBTI community LGBTI culture LGBTI health LGBTI rights LGBTI spirituality LGV Leon Liberman LifeLube LifeLube forum LifeLube poll LifeLube subscription Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano Lymphogranuloma Venereum MRSA MSM Monday Morning Perk-Up National AIDS Strategy National Gay Men's Health Summit One Fey's Tale Peter Pointers Pistol Pete PnP PrEP President Barack Obama Presidential Campaign Project CRYSP Radical Faerie STD Senator Barack Obama Sister Glo Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Susan Kingston Swiss declaration Ted Kerr Test Positive Aware Network The "Work-In" The 2009 Gay Men's Health Agenda Tony Valenzuela Trans Gynecology Access Program Trans and Intersex Association Trevor Hoppe Who's That Queer Woof Wednesday You Tube abstinence only activism advocacy african-american aging issues anal cancer anal carcinoma anal health anal sex andrew's anus athlete ball scene bareback porn barebacking bathhouses bears big bold and beautiful bisexuality black gay men black msm blood ban blood donor body image bottom chubby chaser circumcision civil rights civil union communication community organizing condoms crystal meth dating dating and mating with alan irgang depression disclosure discrimination domestic violence don't ask don't tell douche downlow drag queen emotional health exercise female condom fitness gay culture gay identity gay latino gay male sex gay marriage gay men gay men of color gay men's health gay pride gay rights gay rugby gay sex gay youth gender harm reduction hate crime health care health care reform health insurance hepatitis C hiv vaccine homophobia homosexuality hottie hotties how are you healthy? human rights humor hunk immigration international mr. leather internet intimacy leather community leathersex lifelube survey love lube lubricant masturbation mental health microbicides middle music negotiated safety nutrition oral sex physical health pleasure podcast policy politics poppers porn post-exposure prophylaxis prevention prostate prostate cancer public health public sex venues queer identity racism recovery rectal microbicides relationships religion research safe sex semen sero-adaptation sero-sorting seroguessing sex sexual abuse sexual addiction sexual health sexual orientation smoking social marketing spirituality stigma stonewall riots substance abuse treatment substance use suicide super-bug superinfection syphilis testicle self-examination testicular cancer testing top trans group blog transgender transgender day of remembrance transgendered transmen transphobia transsexual universal health care unsafe sex vaccines video violence viral load writers yoga youtube