via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Robert Levithan
Young is good. Older is less good.
On Facebook few people put their year of birth. For online dating sites, not to mention hookup sites, there is such pressure to lie that those of us who tell the truth are odd men out.
When I post my age as 60, men think I'm somewhere between 64 and 75. Again, why do we lie about our age?
Ageism, yes. Internalized ageism, as well. Internalized prejudice is when we operate out of a learned prejudice about something we are: I have been exploring my own internalized homophobia, anti-Semitism, and AIDS-phobia, however subtle or overt, for years.
I lead workshops where we have looked at our internalized prejudice, such as racism, classism, and genderism.
How do we know when we are operating from internalized prejudice? When we try to "pass" without cause.
When we are living in the belief that what we are is less than what other people are; when we have bought into other people's prejudices (which do exist) and perceive danger even when it doesn't exist.
There are situations where honesty about my sexual orientation, my HIV status, or my religious heritage could get me killed.
I would lie or hide if my life were at stake. However, often I observe "passing" behavior when there is no danger.
Most of us will not suffer harm if we are honest about our sexuality or our age. We do, however, suffer psychically, from constant denial of the truth about who or what we.
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