Tuesday, July 14, 2009

How is Pete Subkoviak healthy?

Oh, I’ve done all the regular ole health stuff like working out, taking in copious amounts of sleep and trying to eat lots of veggies, but that stuff never really made me feel healthy, because I was never happy with myself. Being healthy didn’t really come until I became comfortable with and confident in whom I am, realizing that being unique and independent is a good thing, and standing out in this world works to one’s advantage.

I don’t fit into traditional boxes, and for a long time I felt this was my greatest weakness. I thought (thanks in good part to a Catholic upbringing!) that I needed to be “normal” to lead a happy and successful life and that faulty belief hampered me for a very long time. I’ve always been very masculine, but as a transgender man I’ll never fit some people’s definition of male, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I have a hint of faggotry in me. And even worse, I had a lot of good stuff to offer: I’m humorous, reasonably intelligent, and an aspiring do-gooder. All this would go to waste, I assumed, because conventional wisdom held that I was abnormal.

It’s only lately that I’ve come to this conclusion: fuck that! I’ll never be totally male or female, gay or straight, but I know what I am and what I’m not. I am a man and I am bisexual, and there are people out there that will hire me, befriend me and love me as is. And so it turns out the faulty beliefs I held were the only thing holding me back from the true happiness, healthiness and great possibilities of life.

-- Pete Subkoviak

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