The "Work-In" - 12-step Recovery Myths

by Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube (though he has been on va-k for awhile) --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

12 Step Recovery Myths

Many people hesitate to try 12 step programs or avoid them altogether because of some the myths they hear about them. I have to admit I don’t blame them. Some of the things we hear are scary. Well today I hope to dispel some of these myths. Granted some hardcore 12 steppers may get upset but my aim is not to offend anyone. Trust me I think 12 step program are a vital part of creating a strong foundation for your recovery. It definitely worked/works for me and millions of other people.

In the book Powerfully Recovered, author Ann Wayman put it this way, “Telling people who have little, if any, experience with success, that they can never successfully recover guarantees that many of them will never even try. Insisting that people who already feel powerless must adopt an attitude of perpetual powerlessness in order to let go of their addiction means many of them will refuse to even attempt to work the Program.”


Here are some myth buster from Drug Addiction and Recovery Series - 12 Step Meeting Myths and Realities by Ravi Jaya on February 15, 2009

Myth: Go to 90 Meetings in 90 Days

On the surface, it sounds like there is nothing wrong with this advice right? However, there are a number of problems with following this recommendation. First, what are you going to do if you don’t make 90 meetings in 90 days? Is this unrealistic goal going to set you up for failure? If you make 100 meetings in 90 days, is a monument going to be built for you? What does this goal accomplish? Why the arbitrary number of 90? Is there something special about this number?

While it is good to have discipline while working a program of recovery, this type of discipline will only set you up for failure. As human beings, our lives are incredibly complex where we are balancing time for a job, relationships and family. Sometimes, situations come into our lives where we might miss a meeting or two. And, if you do happen to meet a meeting or two, it is OK as long as you are consistently working the 12 steps and have your own connection to your higher power.

Also, if you are 100 percent reliant on meetings to keep you sober, what is going to happen when you can’t get to a meeting? The answer is that you will probably end up using drugs again. It is imperative that you build and find the tools within yourself and through your higher power to keep you sober.

Myth: Take Your Time to Work the 12 Steps

This is one of the biggest untruths that is perpetuated in our programs of recovery. There is a popular saying, “We didn’t get sick overnight, and we won’t get well overnight.” While it is true that you will most likely not get well literally overnight, you will get well as fast as you work the steps. I knew a man who worked the steps in 15 days, and his spiritual recovery took literally 15 days. Most people do not work the steps this fast, however; there is nothing wrong with working the steps this quickly. In the early days of the 1930’s when the steps were first being practiced, most people did the steps in a few days. Your sponsor would stay on top of you until you were done. That is why we had such high recovery rates back then: people ensured that people who were new to recovery did the necessary work to stay sober, and in fact, the steps were a necessary task to be completed for you to be included in the fellowship.

“If you read Dr. Bob's story, in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, it becomes clear he worked the then Six Steps in an afternoon and evening! (The original six steps contain all f the now 12 – they were broken up to provide more manageable chunks). The founders and old timers knew it was imperative that the addict had to take massive personal action to effect the needed changes. The Steps, including Step 4 are a solid plan for taking the action necessary to recover.” (Powerfully Recovered, Anne Wayman, Second Edition 2000)

Myth: I Have Years of Sobriety and Am Still Powerless and My Life Is Still Unmanageable

The first step of recovery talks about how we are powerless over drugs and how our lives have become unmanageable, and early on before you work the steps, this is true. The original 12 step text, details how we are when we are still getting drunk and loaded, and what happens when we try and quit on our own. These descriptions of us are right on the money and show how powerless and unmanageable we were.

However, the whole point of us working the steps is that we can gain some power in our lives and that our lives can become more manageable again. The first step points out how our lives have become powerless and unmanageable, the second step shows us that we can believe in our own higher power, and then the third step turns the management of our lives over to that higher power that we chose in the second step. After you perform a third step, your life is no longer unmanageable because your life is now being managed by your higher power. Yes, I know that it sounds strange, although after you try it, you understand that it really works.

For more myth busters and a better understanding of what I am trying to get at with this blog post today I high recommend reading Powerfully Recovered, Anne Wayman, Second Edition 2000. Choosing to stop acting out on our dysfunction/addiction take power and will which we all have. RECLAIM YOUR POWER AND WILL!

(Usual disclaimer applies, with emphasis: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

Don’t forget that September is National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month. The 2009 theme, “Join the Voices for Recovery: Together We Learn, Together We Heal.” See what's happening near you RecoveryMonth.gov

Visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to read daily motivations visit http://backtothebasicsplease.com/wordpress

If you are not sure how to begin your work-in or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at thework-in@hotmail.com, I will response as soon as I can.

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

The "Work In" - The Infamous 4th Step

Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

Series began with Step One January 29, 2009
Click here for Step Two
Click here for Step Three

The 12 Steps: A historic and analytic explanation

[Channeled via 12 Steps Workbook: The Proactive Twelve Steps by Serge Prengel]

Since the beginning of our work-in we have been doing a lot of work, good work to, on our inner self, keep it up. This is the first major effort we’ll make at formal self-examination. Self-examination, and the resulting self-knowledge, is critically important to building our inner strength. It is also a vitally important component of all spiritual disciplines. It’s time to own our shit. In order to move forward you have to own up to your mistakes and stop blaming others for them. Without doing this we are bound to continue to repeat those old mistakes over and over again.

Step 4

I honestly look at the effects of my actions on others and myself.

Original wording (AA):
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Honesty

When things aren't working well, the temptation is to hunker down, feel defensive, and try to prove why what you're doing should work. Of course, this won't magically make things work.

Step 4 is about stepping away from the heat of battle, and taking a non-partisan look at your own actions.

Does it mean that you were bad, and we now have to become good?

No, you're certainly not trying to become an angel (or to convince yourself that you’re one). In fact, if you try to go that route, your life somehow becomes even more unmanageable. All you have to do is try to not be so defensive. That is, try to just face the reality of what you do without jumping to justify it in the same breath. The original 12 steps called Step 4 a "fearless" moral inventory. The fearlessness lies in that you accept to face reality, whatever it is.

Beyond good and evil

What makes this kind of honesty possible is removing the notion of judgment - that is, the potential for blame and shame. Step 4 is about looking at facts - as opposed to adding overlays of judgment and blame onto them in such a way that the facts become obscured.

There is a big difference between being in Criminal Court and doing Step 4:
- In Criminal Court, the rule is for the indicted person to avoid responsibility.
- In Step 4, your goal is to work toward taking responsibility for what you do.

Why would you do that? It is a logical continuation of the leap of faith described earlier. Your hope is that, whatever you find out about yourself, it will be something that you can live with.

This will lead you to eventually get to know your true self - - and that this might turn out to be a better person than you thought you were!

Now it’s time to stop reading and start writing.

Get to work! You have an inventory to write.

To read daily motivations visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to receive daily motivations via email join our Google group Back To The Basics Please .

If you are not sure how to begin your work-in or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at thework-in@hotmail.com, I will response as soon as I can.

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

The "Work In" - Step Three

Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

Series began with Step One January 29, 2009
Click here for Step Two

The 12 Steps: A historic and analytic explanation

[Channeled via 12 Steps Workbook: The Proactive Twelve Steps by Serge Prengel]

I shift my focus, from being fixated on my problems, to seeking a sense of wholeness and contentment in my life.

Original wording (AA): Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power as we understood this Higher Power.

A leap of faith

The Third Step is a leap of faith - but not necessarily religious faith. What is it about?

You decide to put your efforts into increasing your sense of wholeness and contentment in life. This is harder to do than it seems. It feels really scary to let go of the “solution” you think you have. It feels like, instead of dealing with the problem, you’re giving up.

The more stuck you are, the more you feel that the only way out is to try harder doing what you’re already doing. What enables you to let go is the hope that it will work out. As you feel more whole and satisfied with your life, you will be in a better position to deal with what now seems impossible to change.

Transformation

As you progressively let go of your fixation on your problems and your usual ways of dealing with them, you’ll notice how you tend to tighten up -- how much you want to control things -- when you're faced with something new. Noticing this, you're in a better position to start to relax this tension.

You start noticing how you tend to have knee-jerk reactions to certain situations - how it happens so fast that you weren't even conscious that there was any possibility of doing anything different. Noticing this, you become more aware that you have a choice of how to react in these situations.

Little by little, you discover that your range of reactions is much broader than you were accustomed to. You broaden our sense of who you are. Compared to how you used to be, it feels like you have been touched with something greater than yourself.

Indeed, you have expanded beyond the more limited part of you that you used to think was all of you.

My thoughts:

“…turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power…” does not mean to sit on your ass and wait for your higher power to make things happen for you. If you need a job but don’t look for one, guess what, you will not get one and it’s not because your HP doesn’t “will” you to have one. Now if you are doing the leg work you’ll get what you need. When you “turn it over”, “it” means the outcome not the problem. Your “Higher Power’s will” is the outcome of your actions or inactions. We can’t predict or control the future we can control our part in the present.

To read daily motivations visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to receive daily motivations via email join our Google group Back To The Basics Please .

If you are not sure how to begin your work-in or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at thework-in@hotmail.com, I will response as soon as I can.

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

The "Work-In" - Step Two

Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

Series continued from January 29, 2009
The 12 Steps: A historic and analytic explanation

[Channeled via 12 Steps Workbook: The Proactive Twelve Steps by Serge Prengel]

If you have been paying attention to The Work-In you’ll notice that I talk about letting go of crap that doesn’t serve you in a positive way any more. Here is another way of letting go. As I mentioned in an earlier post I love this mantra, “I release and I let go.” Repeat it over and over. Say it with some rhythm. Give yourself a little music therapy.

Music Therapy is the clinical and evidence-based use of music interventions to accomplish individualized goals within a therapeutic relationship by a credentialed professional who has completed an approved music therapy program. (American Music Therapy Association definition, 2005)

"Step Two"

I'm willing to let go of my usual ways, in the hope that this will help me see things from a broader perspective.

Original wording (AA):
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Letting go

In Step One, you realized the absurdity of clinging to "solutions" that don't work. Why then do you still cling to them? Probably because it feels somehow safer to have a "solution" (even one that doesn't work) rather than no solution at all.

Step Two is about letting go of these useless "solutions" to make room for new ones. Now, of course, there is absolutely no guarantee that you will find a solution that works. There's a big difference between hoping that things work out, vs. expecting and demanding that they do. It is quite possible that your fears will turn out to be realized. But, even then, you can keep the hope that there’s still potential for happiness, even after your fears are realized. In other words, Step 2 is about letting go of the old, narrow sense of who you are because it doesn't work (even though you somehow believe it should work)...

A new perspective

There once was an actor who couldn't use his voice the way he wanted to. At some point, he decided to stop trying so hard to make the sounds he wanted happen. Instead, he started paying close attention to how he made sounds - not just his voice per se, but also the movements of his body. He seemed to have lost his original focus on the voice as he kept experimenting with the movements of his body. But eventually he discovered that he now had an even better command of his body and voice than ever before. So he didn't just go back to the stage; he started teaching his method of movement to the public - it's known after his name, as the Alexander method.

Feeling stuck as a starting point

This story shows the difference between acknowledging your stuckness vs. falling into a spiral of despair. When you hit a really difficult spot, you probably start to feel overwhelmed. You convince yourself that there's nothing you can do about it or about anything else... You start to believe that you are doomed...

This is not necessarily true. Alexander's first step was to take stock of reality - the way things were, he simply couldn't be an actor any more. He was powerless in that sense. But he didn't jump to the hasty conclusion that all was lost. He stayed in the simple reality of observing what was happening. He kept trying to move consciously, focusing his attention on the mechanics and feelings of making movements... He used his energy to deal with the specific problems at hand instead of using it to generate predictions of hopelessness and doom.

Alexander's story is hardly unique. Way back from antiquity, there are examples of people who have overcome major obstacles through conscious attention. For instance, Demosthenes, born a stutterer, became one of Greece's most famous orators.

I don’t share too many alleluia moments. I do want share this great song.

Release and I Let Go

-- Music & Lyrics by Michael Beckwith & Rickie Byars (Eternal Dance Music [BMI]) © 1993

I re-lease and I let go,
I let the Spi-rit run my life.
And my heart is op-en wide,
Yes, I’m on-ly here for God.

No more strug-gle, no more strife,
With my faith I see the light.
I am free in the Spi-rit,
Yes, I’m on-ly here for God.

I re-lease and I let go,
I let the Spi-rit run my life.
And my heart is op-en wide,
Yes, I’m on-ly here for God.
No more strug-gle, no more strife,
With my faith I see the light.
I am free in the Spi-rit,
Yes, I’m on-ly here for God.
I am free in the Spi-rit,
Yes, I’m on-ly here for God.

To read daily motivations visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to receive daily motivations via email join our Google group Back To The Basics Please .

If you are not sure how to begin your work-in or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at thework-in@hotmail.com, I will response as soon as I can.

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

The "Work In" - First Step

Brought to you by Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday on LifeLube --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

The 12 Steps: A historic and analytic explanation
Series continued from January 29, 2009

First Step

Last month I decided to share this series I received some time ago. It breaks the 12 Steps down in a totally different way then how we are used to hearing it. Yes, I know, and I’ll say it again, the 12 steps aren’t for everyone; but it does work for many. I will run this series on the last Thursday of each month. So mark your calendars now. For those of you that are like me and just can’t wait a month for the next episode, you can get your very own copy of this series in a printable ebook of ‘The 12 Step Workbook” - just click on the book to the left.

“I realize I'm stuck. It makes no sense to keep trying to solve my problems with "solutions" that aren't working.”

Original wording (AA):
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

Codependency:
We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Generic version:
We admitted we were powerless over things we believed we should control -- that our lives had become unmanageable.

A new beginning

Somebody once said: If the only tool you have is a hammer, you try to solve everything by hammering.

Well, if the hammer is not solving the problem, it may very well be time to try something else.

The problem is, you may feel that the hammer really should be working… that it will actually work if you just try a little longer… There’s nothing wrong with persistence. But Step One introduces another consideration: accountability.

It’s not enough to just say: I believe it will work one day if I just keep trying. You need to set goals and deadlines. Not for the sake of putting pressure on yourself… but in order to face the reality of what is happening.

Step One is looking squarely at reality. If what you’re doing is not working, you acknowledge that. When you do, you are left with a feeling of emptiness – you don’t know what to do, or even whether there is a solution. It can be really scary. Surprisingly, the emptiness allows you to make room for new, unexpected ideas.


Will these steps work for me?

Self-knowledge is helpful when you want to make changes in your life. The "proactive 12 steps" will help you gain self knowledge. This, in turn, will help you make the changes you want.

But don’t just take my word for it. Keep track of what’s happening. Periodically ask yourself whether you are making progress. This means that you need to give some thought to how you will define and evaluate progress.

What if you’re dealing with addiction? When people say that the “twelve steps” helped them deal with addiction, they do not mean that they just read the steps. They credit twelve steps meetings and the peer support they provide. Even peer support may not be enough. If your habits are endangering yourself or others, you may need to see a qualified professional or go to a rehab program.

The first step is about facing the reality of your situation. It makes no sense to keep trying to solve problems with "solutions" that can't work. Whenever you realize this, you need to look for a different approach.

In other words, the first step is not just the beginning of this process. It is an attitude. It is about staying grounded in reality as you keep track of your progress.



To read daily motivations visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to receive daily motivations via email join our Google group Back To The Basics Please .

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."
President Barack Obama - 44th President of the United States of America 2009

The 'Work-In" - Today's Number is 12

Brought to you by Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured Every Thursday [USUALLY] on LifeLube --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.


The 12 Steps: A historic and analytic explanation

I received this series from someone a while ago. It breaks the 12 Steps down in a totally different way then how we are used to hearing it. I know the 12 Step programs are not for everyone, although they do work for millions of people. Some people say that applying the 12 Steps to other aspects of their life, not just addiction issues, has helped them to change their life. I am not here to sell the program to you. I just thought I would share this series that I enjoyed. Happy Reading!

The 12 steps make up the defining recovery process of those belonging to Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.). Bill Wilson and Bob Smith first developed them. Together Wilson and Smith developed a program to help alcoholics recover. This included working the 12 steps, and then later assisting other recovering alcoholics to practice the 12 steps.

Since writing the 12 steps in the A.A. “Big Book,” as it is termed, the steps have been somewhat adapted to recovery of other forms of addiction. Narcotics Anonymous uses 12 steps almost identical to A.A. Others may use a modified 12 steps program to recover from gambling, sexual addiction, or to quit smoking.




The 12 steps must initially be worked step by step. The first step is admitting one has a problem and recognizing that one is powerless to fix that problem. The second step is believing that a higher power could help restore one to sanity. Next the alcoholic turns the problem over to the higher power in Step 3.

A higher power does not have to mean God. The phrase is a higher power, as we “understand it.” Thus many atheists and agnostics are able to work the 12 steps without having to embrace a form of organized religion. How much the higher power is a religious figure depends very much on each individual A.A. group.

Some groups are very religious, and may end an A.A. meeting by saying the “Our Father.” Other groups forgo this. Almost all A.A. meetings end with people holding hands together, and at least observing their fellowship as a group. The group itself can be the higher power.

Step 4 is a difficult one, where one takes a moral inventory of oneself. This means recognizing faults, behaviors, and patterns that lead one to drink. A sponsor usually guides this step.

Step 5 takes the moral inventory further. One must acknowledge and admit one’s faults, confess them to a higher power, and also to a person. Usually the sponsor acts as a confessor in this case.

Step 6 is a statement of readiness to a higher power, and to perhaps a sponsor. One recognizes again, as in Step 2, that a higher power can remove one’s faults. Step 7 then asks the alcoholic to “humbly” ask the higher power to remove faults.

In the 12 steps, 8 and 9 are active steps. One acknowledges wrongs one has committed to others and asks their pardon. Step 9 specifically calls for restitution to be made, where possible, to those one has harmed.

Steps 10 and 11 continue the process of moral inventory and of closer connection to a higher power. Step 12 is another very active step in which one commits to helping other alcoholics.

People in A.A. continue to work the 12 steps, perhaps for a lifetime. Some find they have sufficiently recovered to only attend meetings occasionally. Others find they need regular meeting attendance to remain committed to recovery. Additional study groups may be offered on each of the steps. There are also books that elucidate each step in further detail, which may direct study groups.

Working the 12 steps is an intensive and committed process. It has been found effective however, and many people owe their recovery from active alcoholism to working the 12 steps and to the philosophy and support of A.A.

To read daily motivations visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to receive daily motivations via email join our Google group Back To The Basics Please .

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."
- President Barack Obama - 44th President of the United States of America 2009