Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Peter, do you have any advice as to how to "resensetize" my penis?

[Peter Pointers is here 4 YOU, as a service to LifeLube readers - whatever question you may have regarding sexual healthy, physical health, mental/emotional and spiritual health - ask him. He will find the answers you are looking 4. Below is a recent Q&A you may be interested to read.]

Question: I am having serious issues achieving orgasm during intercourse. Its never happened and I've been sexually active for 2 years. I can achieve orgasm through masturbation by myself, but during intercourse, whether bottoming or topping, I just can't do it. Do you have any advice as to how to "resensetize" my penis?

Answer: Thank you so much for your question. It sounds like this is a bit of a frustrating situation for you!

To help you out, I talked with Dr. Braden Berkey, Psy.D., the Director of the Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Institute at the Center on Halsted and a private practice psychologist. He went about this issue very methodically – as if he’s come across it before (read: he has, you are not alone). This is more common than you may imagine.

The problem isn't in your penis; it is in your head. You are most likely thinking way too much during sex. Guys often experience this during their first sexual encounters or following a particularly devastating criticism of their performance. But, sometimes we just get into a state of mind that we can’t seem to shake every time we try having sex.

The trick is to take the focus off the destination and enjoy the journey. You can do that a number of ways… but it all comes down to letting your mind go. Start with massages, staying focused on the sensations you are experiencing - accepting them as they come without evaluating them. As you move into foreplay and sex, watch for any critical or distracting thoughts seeping in. It will take time to re-train your brain to turn off, so be patient.

It is also possible that there are deeper issues attached to ejaculating. If this is the case, it may take more work. Exploring this with a well trained and understanding therapist may be worth the time. Let me know if you need help finding a medical provider or therapist that is qualified to help you out!

Be Well,
Peter Pointers
Friend Peter on Facebook

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

select key words

2007 National HIV Prevention Conference 2009 National LGBTI Health Summit 2011 LGBTI Health Summit 2012 Gay Men's Health Summit 2012 International AIDS Conference abstinence only ACT Up activism advocacy Africa african-american aging issues AIDS AIDS Foundation of Chicago anal cancer anal carcinoma anal health anal sex andrew's anus athlete ball scene bareback porn barebacking bathhouses bears big bold and beautiful Bisexual Bisexual Health Summit bisexuality black gay men black msm blood ban blood donor body image bottom Brian Mustanski BUTT Center on Halsted Charles Stephens Chicago Chicago Black Gay Men's Caucus Chicago Task Force on LGBT Substance Use and Abuse Chris Bartlett chubby chaser circumcision civil rights civil union Coaching with Jake communication community organizing condoms Congress crystal meth dating dating and mating with alan irgang David Halperin David Munar depression disclosure discrimination domestic violence don't ask don't tell douche downlow Dr. James Holsinger Dr. Jesus Ramirez-Valles Dr. Rafael Diaz Dr. Ron Stall drag queen Ed Negron emotional health ENDA Eric Rofes exercise Feast of Fun Feel the love... female condom fitness Friday is for Faeries FTM gay culture gay identity gay latino gay male sex gay marriage gay men gay men of color gay men's health Gay Men's Health Summit 2010 gay pride gay rights gay rugby gay sex gay youth gender harm reduction hate crime HCV health care health care reform health insurance hepatitis C HIV HIV care HIV drugs HIV negative HIV positive HIV prevention HIV stigma HIV strategic plan HIV testing hiv vaccine HIV/AIDS homophobia homosexuality hottie hotties how are you healthy? Howard Brown Health Center HPV human rights humor hunk Illinois IML immigration International AIDS Conference international mr. leather internet intimacy IRMA Jim Pickett leather community leathersex Leon Liberman LGBT LGBT adoption LGBT culture LGBT health LGBT rights LGBT seniors LGBT youth LGBTI community LGBTI culture LGBTI health LGBTI rights LGBTI spirituality LGV LifeLube LifeLube forum LifeLube poll LifeLube subscription lifelube survey Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano love lube lubricant Lymphogranuloma Venereum masturbation mental health microbicides middle Monday Morning Perk-Up MRSA MSM music National AIDS Strategy National Gay Men's Health Summit negotiated safety nutrition One Fey's Tale oral sex Peter Pointers physical health Pistol Pete pleasure PnP podcast policy politics poppers porn post-exposure prophylaxis PrEP President Barack Obama Presidential Campaign prevention Project CRYSP prostate prostate cancer public health public sex venues queer identity racism Radical Faerie recovery rectal microbicides relationships religion research safe sex semen Senator Barack Obama sero-adaptation sero-sorting seroguessing sex sexual abuse sexual addiction sexual health sexual orientation Sister Glo Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence smoking social marketing spirituality STD stigma stonewall riots substance abuse treatment substance use suicide super-bug superinfection Susan Kingston Swiss declaration syphilis Ted Kerr Test Positive Aware Network testicle self-examination testicular cancer testing The "Work-In" The 2009 Gay Men's Health Agenda Tony Valenzuela top Trans and Intersex Association trans group blog Trans Gynecology Access Program transgender transgender day of remembrance transgendered transmen transphobia transsexual Trevor Hoppe universal health care unsafe sex vaccines video violence viral load Who's That Queer Woof Wednesday writers yoga You Tube youtube