Black Beyond Boundaries in Philly last Friday

Last Friday at the LGBTI Health Summit in Philadelphia, the morning plenary was titled "Black Beyond Boundaries" and was really exceptional --- every speaker, including the Mayor of Philadelphia was powerful and moving. There was also an incredible performance piece by Zane Booker's Smoke, Lilllies and Jade Arts Initiative. The cream on top of the frosting on top of the cake came via a fabulous speech delivered by Mark McLaurin, the ED of the New York State Black Gay Network. As he has done before, Mark TOTALLY ROCKED the house. Thanks to to him for sharing his speech with LifeLube, printed in its entirety below and worth every second it takes.

Jim

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By Mark McLaurin

Good Morning !!!! First I want to take this opportunity to thank the organizers of the LGBTI Health Summit for making it possible for me to be here- and more importantly- for making the critical decision that a conversation about the health and about the lives of black lgbtq folkz was a topic worthy of a plenary. I was in Cambridge and let me just say………….We are CERTAINLY moving in the right direction. Let me also say that as the Executive Director of the New York State Black Gay Network, the ONLY statewide membership based advocacy organization devoted to a for and the betterment of the lives of black gay men in the entire United States, my talk will unapologetically focus on the needs of black gay men, Others can, should and will talk about the L B T Q members of the black community- I say this because its important, in my view, to always delineate and demarcate on whose behalf and by whose authority you are selected to speak. As a black gay man I find that as I mature as an activist, my moments of outrage are so much less about my explicit exclusion and so much more about my implicit inclusion and so I endeavor, when I speak, NEVER to piss my ownself off- if that makes sense !

That being said………the organizers have asked me to speak about the general state of health among black gay men, touch on the topic of health disparities, outline the need for additional resources and for really substantive collaboration- and end with a charge to the audience, all in the space of 15 minutes.........PAUSSSSSSE………..We shall see !

I must confess that it is a bittersweet moment to be a black gay advocate. On the one hand, there are many promising signs and harbingers and then there is the fact that just a couple of weeks ago- a community gathered to bury a 25 year old black gay man who died from complications of HIV/AIDS- At the end He had CMV and PCP and virtually every other opportunistic infection known to man. Its important to me that you know that this community did not gather in Burundi or Botswana but in Brooklyn, New York. This was not a young man without information of support, He had been a peer educator and worked for one of the larger AIDS Service organizations in the City. This was not a young man who had been exposed perinatally or did not have access to the latest pharmacological interventions to help him in his battle to stay alive- He died ON The ADAP program and literally in the shadow of one of the largest HIV/AIDS research institutions in the world. It is at times like those, as a shell shocked community gathered to comfort and support each other that I began to wonder where had WE failed him ? While on others, we were calling how, exactly, was it- that we passed him by ? If he TAUGHT the information and had access to the services- why couldn’t we save him and since we couldn’t, WHAT, in Gods name did that mean for all the other much less connected kids and what REAL chance did they have ? I struggled with those questions until Friday night here in Philadelphia when I ran into a young man that is here at this conference. I wont point him out and embarrass him but this very conference gave him the opportunity to be reunited with someone who provided services to him as a young person and as we sat and COCKTAILED at WOODYS………….Yeah- I had a few but I KNOW what I heard- He turned to this colleague of mine and plaintively declared that ‘HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR YOU- I WOULD BE DEAD SOMEWHERE IN THE HUDSON RIVER”- I was looking in his eyes when he said it and I didn’t find it to be hyperbole- THAT is how serious it is out here and so I had to check MYSELF. Who the HELL was I to get tired or to question the efforts- After all- Im 33, college educated, come from a loving, accepting family who were able to give me just about any material comfort I could want growing up (and still do). I have never accessed a single youth or HIV related service, I have never performed a single HIV intervention, never had to tell a person they were HIV positive, never counseled ANYONE about ANYTHING- with the possible exception of my good judys about their latest adventure in serial monogamy- In the end- Im a policy wonk and an advocate and I resolved then and there to shut up and wonk and get the hell over myself and advocate- and so here I am !

One wouldn’t know it from perusing the pages of Ebony, or the New York Times or…..THE ADVOCATE. One could remain completely unaware in the midst of a gander at the websites of the NAACP, or People for the American Way or even……….the Human Rights Campaign…….but Black Gay Men are in real trouble, on a variety of fronts. Young black gay men continue to experience higher rates of incarceration, report a greater number of and longer periods of being homeless and report higher rates of depression than similarly situated adolescents and young adults among any other population. It’s a miracle that we know this given the appalling dearth of research being done among this population but I assure you, ‘Tis true. Service providers in my coalition from Bed-Stuy to Buffalo from Red Hook to Rochester continue to report an ever increasing need on the part of young people for an ever increasing number of services to address an ever more complex set of presenting issues in their lives. All of this need is occurring in a static governmental funding environment that rarely increases in dollars and NEVER expands the kinds of services it will support- All of which spell disaster for young people.

You may not have known it from watching last week’s star studded Centers for Disease Control roll out of the new “AFRICAN AMERICAN HIV INITIATIVE” in Atlanta, GA. You would not have heard it from the Nancy Wilson or Usher or any of the other super stars that were invited to “summit” on the state of HIV/AIDS in the black community last week- but the black community passed an alarmingly foreboding milestone the day before. For the first time, since surveillance has begun on the HIV/AIDS epidemic, black MSM have now overtaken all other risk categories as the lead risk category for black men, overall. While this has LONG been true of men in virtually every other racial/ethnic group since the beginning of the epidemic, the fact that it is now true for black men CAN, MUST and WILL represent a real sea change in the way the larger black community talks about HIV/AIDS in its midst- some good and some bad- and we must be ready for both.

The old adage is that when America catches a cold, black folkz get pneumonia. Given the disparate impact of a whole host of health conditions on black men, there can be little question that that is true. Black gay men, however, as a result of the homophobia of the black community and the racism in the mainstream gay community, unlike straight men, often do not have a figurative “home” in which to climb under a blanket and drink some chicken noodle soup and ride out the storm. Witness- if an ostensibly straight black little boy in rural Alabama gets called a “nigger” at school- still an all too frequent occurrence (and certainly not just in Alabama) he can go home where his community will embrace and support him. His parents will tell him that its just ignorance and its no reflection on his own inherent worth and he very likely will attend church on Sunday where his Pastor will tell him that he was fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of his God and that will give him sustenance and comfort for the next time………but what if hes gay and gets called a faggot ? (an all too often occurrence). Its VERY unlikely that he can go home and share this with his mother, lest he raise her suspicions or even if he does and she is understanding, its even more unlikely she will feel comfortable sharing it with his father- who is even less likely to understand and even if they do deal with it as a family unit- They STILL probably belong to a church where the Pastor sees him as some alien abomination wholly outside the vision of God and hence the protection of the community and so………..he sits silent. But maybe as he grows older he wants to get the hell out of Alabama and live his life and be who he is- but WHERE- Is he genuinely welcomed and treated as an equal in the Castro or Chelsea or even Montrose in Houston- or does the community there either ogle or objectify or completely ignore or marginalize- depending on his physicality ???

Is there a gay community center where he is comfortable in his southern,black skin- Is there a “QUEER” youth group where he can be who he is (AND MEMO TO YOU- ITS PROBABLY NOT “QUEEEEEEER”)- Im thinking not. It is THIS boy for whom we must find a way.

In the midst of all of this- even in the HIV/AIDS and LGBT arenas- black gay men continue to be marginalized. Black Gay Men, when considered at all in the context of HIV/AIDS are only considered in the context of the extent to which they represent a “bridge” to HIV transmission in black women. This only contributes to the feeling of being silenced. Who wants to be the one that gave the mythical “DL” brother the “bug” that he passed onto the church going woman- Me, personally, ID RATHER BEEEE THE DL BROTHER- Do you see how this works ???

But the LGBT movement is, quite frankly little better- When the LGBT Health movement expresses a desire to MOVE ON from HIV/AIDS-that’s fine- but you better know who you are moving on from- When the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association holds conferences in Miami resort hotels and has two or three work shops on PODIATRY (its apparently terrrrribly taxing on feet to party all night and walk on hot sand all summer) and NEAR silence on HIV/AIDS- you better know what that means for my comfort level in being part of a coalition.

My fear, however, is that I have painted an overly grim picture of the lives of black gay men. It is not so- When the final history is written- the record will reflect incredible innovation and awe inspiring determination and a whole lotta joy- allll in the face of unspeakable tragedy. We have not, by and large, been defined by or even had much time to notice what we did not have- we have been too busy building an alternative structure. We didn’t have, often times, culturally competent shelters for black gay youth- so we invented the House and ballroom community. We did not have- for the most part- ASOs that understood the unique HIV prevention needs of black gay men so we built agencies like COLOURS and MOCHA and POCC out of our living rooms. We didn’t have- in most instances- bars and clubs that were particularly inviting to us or played music that we liked so we had house parties. We did not have- in far too many instances, people to take care of us as we grew sick and died and we created our own network of helping hands. These are things that you must know about us if we are to work in coalition together.

Don’t get me wrong, I sense, on the part of many activists in this movement, an earnest desire to build a formidable and just movement among LGBTQ people, I would not be here if I did not- but we cant get there from here without a really good understanding of some of the ground rules. I have to say that your inclusion of the PBGMLC as a part of this conference and as lead organizer of this plenary speaks loudly and clearly about the bright prospects for the future. We really do have so much more in common than separates us- and, in my view, we genuinely cant be successful without each other. There are actually far more rules for engagement than I have time to speak about today- but herez just a couple.


A- Let us take the lead on confronting the latest anti gay absurdity from the latest jack leg African American preacher the media decides to focus on. It makes many of us viscerally uncomfortable when activists who don’t look like us aggressively attack someone many in our community of origin, would consider a leader. There is a role for you to play, Help our nascent organizations get the word out, Help pitch friendly media onto doing a story on those of us on the ground, As a concession Ill even let you call this posture of ours internalized homophobia under your breath but let us take the lead.

B- Work WITH us on prioritizing the agenda- Understand that as important as all of the issues are- black gay men are not going to come to the table with an agenda that emphasizes Gay Marriage of DP benefits over HIV/AIDS- Understand the fact that, by and large, black gay men are not as “OVER THE TOP OUTRAGED” by instances of discrimination in the workplace or the public square because, quite frankly, we have grown a bit used to it- Don’t interpret that as us caring less, it just gets expressed differently.

C- Don’t demand that we fit into the larger community’s closeted versus “out” either or set up. “Coming Out” is not always something that black gay men can relate to- Many of us go IN and OUT of the closet depending on the mood, our surroundings, the context or even the weather- It doesn’t mean that our instances of not being OUT necessarily equal instances of being CLOSETED- or that my instances of not being vocal stem from a deep seated internalized oppression paradigm the community always seems to have at the ready- sometimes its just not wanting to wear that particular hat that particular day. The burgeoning growth of the black gay pride movements puts the lie to the notion that we are any less comfortable in our own skin- it is imperative that it be understood that we can, must, should and WILL be allowed to DO IT OUR WAY !

Im going to close here - I promised fifteen minutes and I want to hold to our promise but I want to thank all of you again for being such a patient audience and the organizers of this conference for having us here- I want you to know that Im leaving this place with a much greater sense of optimism about the future of the movement and a much greater determination to stick in there and do the hard work that needs to be done to create a progressive movement to sweep across this Country and make us ALL better. I believe it was Ben Franklin who said that “We must all hang together or we will most assuredly hang separately” and so it is !

Thank you and God Bless !