Thursday, February 4, 2010

The "Work In" - I just came here to tell you I love you

and, when the time comes to let it go... 
let it go.

Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured almost every Thursday on LifeLube --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

“If we all let go of one thing we like, and take instead each other's hand; if we all let go of three minutes each day, and find instead a few perfect words for someone in the house; if we all withhold our judgments for one hour, and reveal during that time one of our own small secret sins; if we all skip the same meal each week, and spend the time together in the park; would we have less or more than what we started with?It is one of the great and pleasing mysteries of life that we gain by giving things up. Instead of grabbing things or demanding from others if we give something up, we leave a space for something new to enter our lives.” 
From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

I feel so blessed that I let go of the sad memories... now I have room to fill up on good ones.

Last week I traveled to Puerto Rico for the first time in my life. I went as part of a delegation from Chicago and New York to show support to the BLGTQ community and to meet the family of Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado, a Latino Gay youth who body was found decapitated, dismembered and partially burned body on a road in central Puerto Rico on November 14, 2009. To ready more about the activism part of the trip read my online article visit the Windy City Times website.

The trip proved to be a test of all the work-ins I have done during my recovery.

Growing up I have huge father issues I avoided facing. I carried around loads of resentments, anger, shame and sadness toward the person I use to call my “sperm donor”. I would always say that that was the only title my father earned. It wasn’t until I was about 1 ½ sober that I started to do some work around these issues. Of course I tipped toed around it them never really doing the work just talking about it. Then I went through the Mankind Project’s New Warrior Weekend Adventure.

Here I learned how to take look at my father issues dead on. I wasn’t until after the weekend and doing much work around those issues with my I-group, an integration group is a continuing support network of men who meet regularly to continue the work they touched on in the weekend. Once I was finally brave enough to face my issues and work them out I was able to let go of those feeling of abandonment, anger, shame and sadness. Letting go took a lot of tears and yelling. The story I told myself was that I finally did it. I finally let go of those feelings and resentments that were holding parts of me back.

I used this trip to my homeland of Puerto Rico as an opportunity to finally see my father after over 30 years. Thanks to Facebook I was already friends with my brothers and sister from dad’s second marriage. This made it easy for me to set up a visit to his house. After an immensely emotional day of meeting with politicians, local community BLGTQ organizations, and the family of Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado, I was not sure I could make the 3 hour trip across island to see my father.

But I knew that I was just trying to come up with an excuse not to see my father.

Read the rest.

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

If you are not sure how to begin your work-in or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at, I will response as soon as I can.

Visit my blog at or to read daily motivations visit

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

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