Cristiano Ronaldo's six-pack makes it clear that being reduced to a quivering jelly of insecurity is no longer just for women.
It may be stretching it a bit to say that abs are the new tits. But they're definitely the new arse. Marky Mark may have started it, but in 2010 we have reached the abdominal crunch, where a male body part is finally being used in the way feminine equivalents have been used for decades; not just to shift product but make an entire gender feel inadequate.
As a feminist I would like to celebrate this blow against the patriarchy. But I can't, because I'm too busy peering at my flab-embossed tummy, feeling sorry for myself. For years it seemed impossible that it could come to this, men were surely too comfortable in their role in the world to feel insecure about their body; they wore the trousers. Now, they wear the underpants.