Quite the contrary. Asking someone to get tested with you when the other person has given themselves to you and feels connected with you, has complete trust in you, is a way to crush all the excitement of a new relationship. It is asking you to go against all the feelings of trust and love that two people feel when they surrender to each other when they start feeling as though they are the only two people in the world. Another example of this would be if the beloved asked you to add their name to your bank/checking account. Imagine, for a moment, that the two of you are naked and all hot and sweaty, and one of you says, let's add each other's names to our bank and checking accounts. Just feel the room suddenly getting cold and uninviting. Same with asking someone to get tested with you. Some people have had that exact experience.
> Then don't ask, "Let's get tested together." Don't ask, "Let's get tested together before having sex."
Nope, the previous explanation above has been what's happened with guys who have expressed an interest in me. They run in panic assuming I've actually GOT AIDS because of making the suggestion to get tested together.
> So, what can we do?.. we could get rejected for asking, "Let's get tested together before we have sex". How do we stop the sexually transmitted infections that are passed around?...
It turns out that many years ago I found someone who would do the testing together thing. Those who ran away, I suspect, had their own problems and similar irrational reactions that likely caused whoever they ended up with to crash and burn. Dealing with reality in that way means you are unlikely to be able to manage less severe life situations.
FYI - if you are the troll that continues to post comments with links and no text - and the same message over and over on this thread - you will notice that you are not getting your comments posted.
> Put your politics into your erotic practice and get tested together. Nothing is sexier than trust :)
ReplyDeletehttp://vegundity.wordpress.com/2010/01/11/something-vegan-and-sexy/
>
Quite the contrary. Asking someone to get tested with you when the other person has given themselves to you and feels connected with you, has complete trust in you, is a way to crush all the excitement of a new relationship. It is asking you to go against all the feelings of trust and love that two people feel when they surrender to each other when they start feeling as though they are the only two people in the world. Another example of this would be if the beloved asked you to add their name to your bank/checking account. Imagine, for a moment, that the two of you are naked and all hot and sweaty, and one of you says, let's add each other's names to our bank and checking accounts. Just feel the room suddenly getting cold and uninviting. Same with asking someone to get tested with you. Some people have had that exact experience.
> Then don't ask, "Let's get tested together." Don't ask, "Let's get tested together before having sex."
ReplyDeleteNope, the previous explanation above has been what's happened with guys who have expressed an interest in me. They run in panic assuming I've actually GOT AIDS because of making the suggestion to get tested together.
> So, what can we do?.. we could get rejected for asking, "Let's get tested together before we have sex". How do we stop the sexually transmitted infections that are passed around?...
ReplyDeleteIt turns out that many years ago I found someone who would do the testing together thing. Those who ran away, I suspect, had their own problems and similar irrational reactions that likely caused whoever they ended up with to crash and burn. Dealing with reality in that way means you are unlikely to be able to manage less severe life situations.
> That testing together thing makes it harder to have sex with somebody, harder that somebody I meet would say, "Together? Okay, let's do it."
ReplyDeleteBecause just suggesting getting the test together derails the urges to just go ahead and DO IT!
FYI - if you are the troll that continues to post comments with links and no text - and the same message over and over on this thread - you will notice that you are not getting your comments posted.
ReplyDelete