Yo Obama – I’m really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but Morgan Tsvangirai totally deserved this year’s Nobel Peace Prize.
Let’s be honest, much like Taylor Swift, people like you. I don’t know a single woman (or man for that matter) who wouldn’t marry you in a heartbeat. You make people feel all fuzzy and optimistic, and because of it they will eat up you recycled rhetorical bullshit. Yes, much like ‘Romeo and Juliet,’ your speeches are bubblegum pop politics at its finest so let’s face it: you ain’t done shit son.
So you were the most peaceful man in 2009? Hmm, if by peaceful, you mean didn’t constantly threaten antagonistic nations, some of which may have biological or nuclear capabilities, then yeah man, you did aight. But what say you of ending war, famine, genocide, and the like? And let’s not forget about the apparent immunity you’d like to give for Bush era personnel responsible for torture, rape and indiscriminate killing. Pledges to get out of Iraq in 2011 if commanders give a go ahead is a far cry from action. And Afghanistan, well I’m not even gonna touch that shit storm.
Now, take Mr. Tsvangirai, Zimbabwe’s newest prime minister. Much like Beyonce, Tsvangirai worked his ass off (though not literally, as with Beyonce). In the late 1990s, Morgan Tsvangirai emerged as a political challenger inside Zimbabwe. Once a miner, Tsvangirai headed the country's largest trade union for a decade, but growing dissatisfaction in the country spurred the formation of a movement opposing Zimbabwe's autocratic president, Robert Mugabe. From 2002 to 2008, the Mugabe regime arrested and tortured him several times; he also dodged a few assassination plots too. Still, he was able to barter a deal to share control of the country with his adversary, ending a violent and bitter era of political unrest in Zimbabwe. Plainly stated, Tsvangirai took a risk and acted, imperiling life and limb, not just political capital. I fear you, Barack, are not willing to do either-lest you hurt your chances for re-election (lord knows what kind of platitudes you've got in store for the gays this weekend).
Being good does not mean abstaining from being bad. I think I can speak for most of the world in saying that we’re glad you’re not George Bush, but you ain’t Gandhi either. Peace will not come from words or symbolic gestures, but from risk, movement, and sacrifice. You’ve done a good job telling everyone, “Our bad,” and I have no doubt that you want the world to be a better place. The problem is that while your words and visions for the future paint a very pretty picture, aspiration without action is tantamount to failure. Buck up, son, and act, and don’t you ever for a second get to thinking your irreplaceable.
Let’s be honest, much like Taylor Swift, people like you. I don’t know a single woman (or man for that matter) who wouldn’t marry you in a heartbeat. You make people feel all fuzzy and optimistic, and because of it they will eat up you recycled rhetorical bullshit. Yes, much like ‘Romeo and Juliet,’ your speeches are bubblegum pop politics at its finest so let’s face it: you ain’t done shit son.
So you were the most peaceful man in 2009? Hmm, if by peaceful, you mean didn’t constantly threaten antagonistic nations, some of which may have biological or nuclear capabilities, then yeah man, you did aight. But what say you of ending war, famine, genocide, and the like? And let’s not forget about the apparent immunity you’d like to give for Bush era personnel responsible for torture, rape and indiscriminate killing. Pledges to get out of Iraq in 2011 if commanders give a go ahead is a far cry from action. And Afghanistan, well I’m not even gonna touch that shit storm.
Now, take Mr. Tsvangirai, Zimbabwe’s newest prime minister. Much like Beyonce, Tsvangirai worked his ass off (though not literally, as with Beyonce). In the late 1990s, Morgan Tsvangirai emerged as a political challenger inside Zimbabwe. Once a miner, Tsvangirai headed the country's largest trade union for a decade, but growing dissatisfaction in the country spurred the formation of a movement opposing Zimbabwe's autocratic president, Robert Mugabe. From 2002 to 2008, the Mugabe regime arrested and tortured him several times; he also dodged a few assassination plots too. Still, he was able to barter a deal to share control of the country with his adversary, ending a violent and bitter era of political unrest in Zimbabwe. Plainly stated, Tsvangirai took a risk and acted, imperiling life and limb, not just political capital. I fear you, Barack, are not willing to do either-lest you hurt your chances for re-election (lord knows what kind of platitudes you've got in store for the gays this weekend).
Being good does not mean abstaining from being bad. I think I can speak for most of the world in saying that we’re glad you’re not George Bush, but you ain’t Gandhi either. Peace will not come from words or symbolic gestures, but from risk, movement, and sacrifice. You’ve done a good job telling everyone, “Our bad,” and I have no doubt that you want the world to be a better place. The problem is that while your words and visions for the future paint a very pretty picture, aspiration without action is tantamount to failure. Buck up, son, and act, and don’t you ever for a second get to thinking your irreplaceable.
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