Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Don't Assume - Make your Relationship Agreements Explicit and Specific

via our aussie friends, acon

Relationship Agreements are the agreements that people make in regards to the sex they have inside and outside of a relationship. All relationships have agreements about how we live and operate in the relationship including things like whether you separately or together, how much time you spend together and what you do with that time, how you operate financially, who cooks, who cleans and what you watch on TV. The agreements below are specifically about the sex people choose to have. This includes sex with each other and or sex with other people.

There is no one relationship agreement that fits all people or types of relationships.

All relationships are different and there fore so are the agreements we need to make. The relationship agreements you had in your last relationship may not be a good one for your current relationship. Indeed your relationship agreement may change throughout your relationship. Your relationship agreements must be based on what you and your partner want and feel, not what other people are saying or doing All relationships have a relationship agreements, not just open relationships. Exclusive relationships have a relationship agreements, that is, they agree to only have sex with each other It may sound trite, but assuming you are monogamous is not an agreement; it is an assumption, and those assumptions may be incorrect. So talking about your agreement is the best way to avoid misunderstandings.

Basically, Agreements need to be clear and spoken between both of you.

They must be agreed to by both of you. One partner suggesting an arrangement and the other not agreeing is not an agreement. Don’t feel harassed or coerced into agreeing to something that you are not comfortable with as you will often only regret the decision. If you are unsure about something you can continue to consider it, read up on the issue, or trial it to see if it is want you both want or if it will work for your relationship.

Relationship agreement’s need to be specific and detailed. They should outline the type of sex that is allowed, with whom, where, when, safety considerations like safe sex, and alcohol and drug consumption, and other conditions that suit your relationship.

Read the rest for other things to consider.

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