The "Work In" - Suck it up and drive on soldier!

Trust me, I hate change just as much as the next person but we have to let go of the crap that doesn’t serve us in a positive way any more.

Brought to you by Ed Negron, former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned clean & sober, turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned blogger.


Last week I talked about accepting change. I started with this topic because in order to reap the benefits of your "Work-In" you must first be willing to change many of your ways. Our way of thinking about ourselves is one of, if not, the most important change.

Trust me, I hate change just as much as the next person but we have to let go of the crap that doesn’t serve us in a positive way any more. I say “in a positive way” because everything we hold on to serves us in one way or the other, be it positive or negative. We hold on to the past because we are still getting something out of it or wish we could change it. It may be a cry that was not answered, a lonely childhood, or that lover who left. We wanted to feel safe, wanted, and needed. We play the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” game with ourselves. Well it is time to accept the fact that you “didn’t” and “can’t”. The past is just that, “the past.” You can’t change it. What’s done is done.

When I was in boot camp the drill sergeant engraved his favorite phrase into our minds, “Suck it up and drive on soldier!” I’ve grown to really love that phrase.

The past is not holding us. We are holding it. Now it’s time for us to take some steps to start letting go. It’s time to face our fears, mistakes, and resentments. But wait! It’s not going to be all gloom and doom. It’s also time to revisit our accomplishments and joys; you know the “good ole days.” We must honor the good with the bad. We have learned from both.

Steps to Letting Go of Your Past:

1. Write, talk, draw, paint, or otherwise tap into your thoughts and memories. Letting go of your past means honoring your memories.

2. Focus on whatever is troubling you about those memories. Don't try to run from them or hide from them. Allow yourself to feel the full intensity. Feel the sadness, anger, fear, joy, laughter. Marinate in these feelings for awhile. It’s ok.

“Change is what happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the
fear of letting go.”-- Chuck Gallozzi

3. Share your real feelings; confess if it's appropriate. Letting go of your past means expressing your emotions. If you have to deal with your mistakes, then own up to your shame or guilt. Apologize and ask forgiveness if you need to.

“Letting go of your past means being vulnerable.”

4. Ask yourself, “How is this feeling serving me today?"

5. Then ask yourself, “Can I let go of this feeling?" Realize that you are not your feelings and they are not holding on to you. It is the other way round; you are clinging to them.

6.Now ask yourself, "Am I willing to make the choice to let it go?"

7. If /when you are ready to let go of the feeling try something like:

- writing the feeling or feelings down on a sheet of paper. Then take the paper outside somewhere and burn it. Release your hold on it into the universe. (BE CAREFUL! Don’t go burning down the house or yourself. Please, no forest fires either.)

- or you can also try this visualization technique: Imagine that the feeling is tingling, wiggling, and twisting in your hands. Feel the energy of that feeling or feelings in your hands, Give it a color, shape, or sound. Now see yourself releasing it. Drop it, through it, blow it away. Just let it go. Watch it fade away into the distance.

I know all this may sound cheesy but give it a try.

Don’t knock it till you’ve tried. Keep in mind it will be difficult and feel awkward at first. The more you practice letting go, the easier and better it will feel.

(Usual disclaimer applies: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Only you can.)

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

P.S. If shit ever comes up for you that you can’t handle, and it will, seek professional help. You don’t have to try to figure life out on your own. Also, please check out some of the resources on the LifeLube mothership - Sex and Drugs, Crystal Meth, Spirituality, Relationships and Emotional Health.

And read more "Work-Ins" here.