Kaijson Noilmar, Legacy Project Director at the HIV Vaccine Trials Network (HVTN), shares his ideas for a 2009 Gay Men’s Health Agenda. Kaijson is also affiliated with the National Black Gay Men's Advocacy Coalition and the National Black Gay Men's Network.
A celebration of gay men and their achievements in full color
A great deal has been stated about the necessary agenda items for a Gay Men’s Health Agenda for 2009. Some leaders have provided a colorful critique of times past, of what is missing, what should have been, while
others pointed direction toward what Gay Men’s Health can be, what it includes, what can be enriched and still others innovative and energy propelling action items. We get it all – where have we been, where are we and of course where are we going.We are wonderfully healthy, courageous, inspiring, imaginative, gracious, patient – still there is pain, anguish, sadness, depression and sickness – but really where do we go from here? The GMH Agenda must include the ability for gay men to communicate, with themselves, each other and the collective.
Organic & Flexible Communications
The GMH Agenda for 2009 must incorporate an intertwined dialogue that traverses conversations between a man and his partner, small groups, the college classroom, conferences, published papers and, and, and…and back again to a gay man and the conversations with himself. We should be able to talk about our lives in their entirety – there is so much of this life to celebrate individually, in partnerships and the collective; the joy of love, friendship, bonding, sexuality, coming out, status, of leadership and of champions – of course too there are global / broad scope / world view issues of colossal proportions that require attention and need to be addressed such as drug and alcohol addiction, depression, suicide, marriage, children, polygamy or a broader more conceptual viewpoint – spiritual, emotional, philosophical, physical, mental, communal, social economics and the list goes on – but I propose we need to care for one another at the core level of the self and our being, learning about who we are as wonderful and beautiful gay men – extending beyond being comfortable within our own skin towards a celebration of all of what we are, of who we are – past, present and to come; with our character defects holding hands with ever-growing changing strengths. From an understanding of the self – an appreciation of love for all of me – I can better see the we –and better be able to be a contributing member of our community.
As a continuation of exploring self and therefore connecting with others a complete growing changing gay man is… and example conversation might be one around sex:
How we define ourselves, sexually? What is healthy sex? Are there cultural or communal norms around sex? Is sex beyond savage lust or the composite of a dreamy love scene – is it… Whatever it is, that is what sex is. Perception rules! Abound in conversations around sex are power, race and a juxtaposition of conscious unconscious negotiations for them both with the value of self laying at times as a doormat, folded neatly or shoved in a fearful anxious rush into a compartmentalized space. I recently read a piece that clearly illustrated one of these points by a radical faerie by the name Middle.
There's a human impact I've encountered first-hand - men and boys who feel their willingness is a commodity to be traded against their perceived shortcomings: age, ability, cock size, weight, femininity, HIV status. Where there vulnerable or clueless pursue fantasies fueled by glamorization of risk with little or no brotherly support, unhappy results range from name-calling to seroconversions, addiction, and worse.Again a dialogue, a safe space for conversation, truthful and real, courageous and difficult, guided and open - conversations about gay men and sex RAW and unplugged with, for and by gay men from the adolescent to the mature, youth to elder, are necessary.
Once an understanding of the self has begun in combination with an open mind toward growth, change and improvement , a healthy dialogue among many men can create gay men’s health as celebration of gay men and their achievements, represented in full color!
[Click here to read previous input into the 2009 Gay Men's Health Agenda. Please feel free to comment there - or you could send in a full post of your own here. We will be happy to publish it! The feedback we've received will be featured in the closing plenary of the upcoming National Gay Men's Health Summit - starting this Saturday in Seattle - and will be a means of moving the community forward in the new year around issues that are important to all of us.]
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