Gay Kid = Happy Kid?

It isn't wrong to identify as a gay person, but we should also acknowledge that being gay is not a personality. Sexuality is a part of our individuality, but it doesn't make us who we are. Our life choices and ambitions make us who we are.

by Barbieboy07

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It isn't easy starting a new school, it's even harder when your gay and sort of an outcast. There is one break that gay kids starting at a new school have over straight kids. Being “gay” has been so glamorized due to television and YouTube that it is a crutch many kids use to gain acceptance in social circles.

We are so much more than our sexuality, but because of the need to feel accepted, we allow ourselves to be grouped together with some of the unrealistic gay personalities in the media. I'm not saying that being the stereotypical gay kid is always a bad thing, what I am worried about is how and when do kids finally break away from that persona, if they ever do at all. We are more than gay, we are men with talent and dreams and we've got to let our friends, our family, and the public know that.

The gay kid, is a lot like the class clown. They are both attention seekers, doing things to make a scene or get a few laughs. Putting themselves in situations or confrontations that could have been avoided simply by being themselves and not acting out. It's so much easier being the gay kid in school rather than being the outcast. Gay men especially, we can move right up the social ladder after we come out of the closet, as long as we act “our role”. Girls and gay men have always had a strong alliance, and that really shows in high school, unfortunately the main reason girls are attracted to gay men is because of the stereotypes that gay men are all fashionistas and gurus that can help them with makeup or give them advice about boys.

Unlike the nerd who has his computers and a bright future going to IIT, the jock with his football scholarship, the “gay kid” just has his subscription to Vogue and is always there to say something cute or sexually explicit instead of pursuing their own life's goals.

In reality, gay men in high school are going through even more problems and confusion than straight woman are, and can't really offer the foresight and advice that young woman long for. After high school is over, and everyone from the different clicks go there separate ways what happens to “the gay kid”. Unlike the nerd who has his computers and a bright future going to IIT, the jock with his football scholarship, the “gay kid” just has his subscription to Vogue and is always there to say something cute or sexually explicit instead of pursuing their own life's goals. Being gay doesn't mean we are here to be a straight girls best friend, or mentor, it doesn't mean that we all want to work in fashion and paint our nails and go shopping every weekend, it means we are men who love other men, thats all.

There is so much more to us than being gay, and by introducing your friends as your “gay friends” you really set up false impressions to other people. By false impressions I mean giving someone the idea that your friend is “gay” by societal standards. Being compared to public gay faces like Carson from Bravo's “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” or Jack McFarlane from NBC's “Will and Grace” really is detrimental for young gay kids trying to find an identity.

Many of us are more mature enough to know that there are many types of gay men, not just the fairies that are portrayed on TV to get the ratings of middle aged woman. Some kids that don't know that, may subconsciously think that the only kind of person they can be is what is depicted in the media. That they should be a florist, or a hair stylist or work in fashion simply because of their sexual orientation.

I don't think all of us have this problem, but for the queens out there (like myself) it isn't easy getting that “guurrl” out of your voice.

The problem is that soon their sexual identity becomes their only identity, and it isn't easy to get out of that persona for everyday life. Going to an interview is stressful enough, without worrying if you might come off as gay to your employer. We have all thought about it, and even though we've got anti-discriminatory legislation for the workplace, does that really matter in an interview? I don't think all of us have this problem, but for the queens out there (like myself) it isn't easy getting that “guurrl” out of your voice. More important than finding your sexual identity is discovering your own identity, one day finding our own voice and becoming the person you were always meant to be; and not conform to the personality you think you should be.

What we really need to focus on instead of trying to fit ourselves into groups or adhering to certain stereotypes is finding out what we really want to do with our lives, and find hobbies that can turn into something finite.

The other point is correcting our friends, letting them know that introducing us as their “gay friend” doesn't speak on our character, our personality or our profession. I can't tell you how many of my own friends did this to me without even knowing it. They didn't do it on purpose they just didn't know any better. It isn't wrong to identify as a gay person, but we should also acknowledge that being gay is not a personality. Sexuality is a part of our individuality, but it doesn't make us who we are. Our life choices and ambitions make us who we are.

Focusing on our goals, separating ourselves from the stereotypes that we used to hold onto to gain acceptance, that is real growth; growth from within.



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