[Terry is the author of "Dancing with Tina"]
Films about meth, books about meth, news articles, whatever...at times they can really get to a person who was once there. Sort of like Tina Turner when she commented about her own movie, "Why would I want to see it?....I lived it."
But... it's a necessary part of recovery since reliving the past can wake me up again and again to what I need to stay away from. I was there, I lived it, I've moved on....BUT..... I have to go back occasionally in my mind via writing, movies, the news... simply because if I don't, there is the danger of forgetting and making those same mistakes again.
Jay Corcoran, the director of "Rock Bottom", has done a necessary service to the gay community with this film, which details the meth abuse of seven gay men in New York City over a period of two years. Harsh to some, terrifying to others, REALITY to many I've known...the film captures moments I'm surprised Jay actually got on film. When I was doing the drugs I said many of the same things these men did, but I would never have stated them so honestly to an outside documentary film maker! He must be either incredibly easy to relate to or the subjects have some type of emotional exhibitionism. Perhaps they just needed to talk to 
an outsider honestly in order to wrap their heads around what they were doing? They seem to be just as honest while sober as when high, so I couldn't chalk those moments up to the "Chatty Kathy" Syndrome most meth users exhibit.
Although Jay said his film was not accepted for the Reeling: Chicago Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, I can't figure out why because it is certainly worthy of it. Maybe folks are still too scared to face the realities of meth onscreen, but I find that hard to believe, in this modern day age of reality tv and sensationalism. The film was finished two years ago, yet it just now got a premiere showing in Chicago on June 19th at the Center on Halsted? There is something very wrong with that scenario and I hope Jay can get more publicity and coverage since the film deserves it.
Much like the film "Meth", Jay's movie consists of on-camera interviews with users, sometimes high, sometimes not, but always with emotional candor. There is not as much "on-screen" drug use as in "Meth", but in many ways "Rock Bottom" is actually darker and more realistic, to me. Both films have a place in our community, but Jay's film hit me harder than the first one, perhaps it is just due to the space I am in now compared to when I saw the other.
There is so much pussy-footing around regarding meth nowadays. Some people glamorize it, some think it so dark they won't even talk about it. Everyone is going to have their own opinion on such a serious, political subject. I know, since I've had people claim my own memoir was "airing dirty linen" but any young kid who tries meth in a bathhouse or during an online hookup is going to eventually encounter these dark scenarios. Some perhaps more than others, but it is a common truth. Looking the other way because of "morals" or "fear" is bullshit. "Rock Bottom" doesn't glamorize OR avoid the issues, it simply places them out there and allows the audience to make up their own minds.
Jay said some people have gotten on his case about the film, which is a realistic, non-judgmental series of interviews weeks or months apart. The truth is the truth, and if someone WON'T listen to how sex revolves around gay meth use, then they have no business even talking about the subject. Gay Meth abuse is two addictions wrapped around and feeding each other. In conversation Jay made no apologies for the content of his film or his take on it all.
Triggers, lies, death, wastage, barebacking, denial....these are all discussed in "Rock Bottom" and to a current or former user they are going to bring back memories. To a novice or an outsider, they may shock, but it isn't "shock" for "shock's sake", it's to educate.
Education is a key component, to me, in drug abuse activism. Stories such as those told in "Rock Bottom" are ones that need to be told. Jay gave these men a forum and I certainly think he's made a difference by doing so.
Yeah, I lived it, but "Rock Bottom" helped remind me of a place I do NOT want to go back to...and that's a good thing.
While I respect the scenerio and truth of the film it is always critical to realize all film, as well as all other anecdotes, are only telling a small portion of the truths out there.
ReplyDeleteMost of the criticism I have heard about this and other drugs kill type films is that they focus on one part of the spectrum of responses to drug use -- usually the use -> abuse -> die experience and not what may be even the most common scenerio with all drugs - use -> continue living -> use again sometime.
Maybe this bias is more clear if you can imagine a movie made of only positive experiences with drugs -- obviously just as much a distortion.
The ultimate question is how to reflect all truths while denying none -- in other words, being respectful of your fellow humans?
In effect, telling a story like it is the only truth is horribly disrespectful to those who have other realities. Appreciating people as they are with their loves/hates, strengths/weaknesses intact is the only path I know to a better world... Peace, Dan
I think Dan makes an excellent point. When I thought my crystal use was getting to be too much (~twice a month), I made a conscious decision to cut back. Now I do it maybe one every 3 or 4 months. I'm to the point where people offer me crystal and I say no. I absolutely don't deny the addictive and destructive power of the drug - I've seen too much to even pretend to claim otherwise, but people are capable of moderate use of the drug. There is a balance between the extremes of no drug use and full blown addict.
ReplyDeleteI think the last guy in the clip comes closest to showcasing that balance, but even with him there's a whiff of "he's as good as dead" in the air.