Indian, gay -- and fearless
Southeast Asians find pride in being queer
By TEENAZ JAVAT, SPECIAL TO SUN MEDIA
When Rahul and PJ met in Brampton, they knew they were meant for each other. Having immigrated with their families to the GTA 15 years ago from the conservative heartland of North India, they have similar cultural backgrounds. That also meant that they both came from deeply traditional families, which had scant tolerance for gay men. For Rahul and PJ (both go by their first names), it was love at first sight.
"I have passed that stage of being a closeted gay a long time ago," PJ says.
"In New Delhi, where we used to live, I used to get sick to my stomach when almost everyone who was anyone had taken it upon himself or herself to get me married," he says. "My family used to line up brides-to-be from matrimonial advertisements asking me to pick one."
Together for more than eight years, the pair had few places to go to as a gay couple in Brampton. "Brampton being the quintessential Little Punjab of Ontario, wherever we went we would bump into someone from back home," PJ says.
"After a while we had to explain ourselves. Some times, these explanations led to interrogation sessions at kiosks in malls, so we were quite fed up. We really needed a place to party and to just chill out," says PJ.
That is when the seeds of Mela were sown. It all happened one rainy Saturday afternoon in May 2002. A few friends were at PJ's place when they hit upon a plan to hold a fun night for queer south Asians in the heart of Toronto's gay district.
Mela is Hindi for country fair. Every 28 days, on the night of the full moon, by the light of powerful hurricane lamps people from nearby villages in rural India meet at the maidan (fair grounds) to sell their wares. A rudimentary midway is set up for kids and villagers to have a good time meeting and greeting everyone, as well as selling their wares.
"This coming together was what inspired us to name our club Mela. Since we wanted it to be a place for queer south Asians to party, we added on the prefix Queer Indian. We had just hit upon a plan and decided to put it to effect ASAP," says Rahul.
So Rahul, PJ and two other friends, Bugzy and Rajat, came together, pooled their skills and Queer Indian Mela was born.
"It is a place for south Asian queer men to come and have fun. We make it a point to advertise it as such so that straight people, and persons from all ethnic backgrounds who are also very welcome, come knowing fully well as to what is in store for them. No surprises here," says PJ.
At the first Mela, 50 people showed up and organizers were a little disappointed by the turnout. Now, six years later, more than 150 patrons can be found attending any given Mela night at Gladaman's Den (formerly Pinocchio's) on Yonge St. The Mela is held there the second Saturday of every month.
It is a magnet for gays, bi-sexuals, lesbians, trans and crossdressers. In addition to dancers gyrating to hot Bollywood music, the Mela also has a slew of regulars who attend to watch the song and dance performances by Chandramukhi, Maya and Reshma (not their real names). These dancers are all men by day, but at night they transform into sultry Bollywood look-alikes.
In addition to the monthly Mela nights, Queer Indian Mela has an active agenda during Pride week and in 2006 won for best community float. The next project is doing a play called Devdas on Church Street, a musical love story with a modern twist.
"However, not everybody wants to have his or her name associated with us. The south Asian community is very homophobic, so recognition at that end is a painfully slow process," say Rahul. "We are a bunch of proudly gay men. We want to be what we are. Hence, a lot of Desi and Indian newspapers have shunned us as their advertisers do not want to be associated with a bunch of Indian gays."
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