by Steven van L.Three is not always a crowd and there doesn't always have to be a third wheel. When handled well, a threesome can be a fun way to get some physical exercise. Steer clear of bugs and rudeness and a hot time can be had by all.
And Buddy Makes ThreeThere are different ways for a threesome to come together. If you are a couple looking for a third to entertain, the online cruising for him would go much the same as for a regular date. State your intentions in your profile or in the message that you send to guys you like. When cruising out in the real world together, the connection will likely be made first between one of the couple and the potential third. After some initial flirting, be sure to make clear that the only option for hooking up at this moment is a threesome. If you sense doubt, drop the topic. A threesome is only fun if there is real chemistry all way round; there is no point to it if the new guy is struggling through sex with you if he really just wants your boyfriend or vice versa. It's worth asking directly beforehand if he likes you both pretty much equally. If the person is hesitant to join just because he is shy or it is new to him, try to stay in touch and see if he warms to the idea. And if the potential third is someone you already know pretty well, only go for it if you are sure your suggestion won't make things awkward if he turns you down.
Should you be single but have a fuckbuddy, you can of course also look for a third together, much in the same way you would if you were an actual couple. If you're going out and committed to finding a third for a threesome that night, don't be rude by hooking up separately. Take a number for later if you meet someone interesting who just wants you solo. Should you be in the middle of a hot date and decide together to add a third, chat rooms and people who are online looking for sex 'right now' are your best options. Don't settle for someone who doesn't quite match both your wants because you are hell-bent on the idea; good 1-on-1 sex is much better than a bad three-way.
If you are hunting solo and looking for a couple, online is - again - the easiest way to find them. There are quite a few there who are open about looking for the occasional third, on profiles and in chat rooms. Hunting in clubs or even at sex parties can be tricky, as you will often not be sure that the two hot guys you see together are also bedding each other. However, you can always chat up one and just see if it turns into a threesome or a 1-on-1 encounter. Of course, if you see two guys actually having sex at a sex party and they don't turn you away when you join them, that is also an instant way to a threesome.
Safety FirstGoing straight to the house of a couple you have never met before is ill-advised. You will - after all - be outnumbered by strangers in private. Meeting up for a drink beforehand will give you a better idea of who your suitors are and will also make clear if there really is chemistry all way around before the clothes are off and things get embarrassing. Letting a friend know where you are going is always a good idea. If that is embarrassing or impractical and you are going out from your own house, at least leave a note around with the address you are headed to, so the police knows where to go looking for the body if you disappear.
For a couple, concerns are more likely to be centred on personal possessions: if two people are looking for a third, it will often make the most sense to meet at their own place. Don't invite people over who look shady or addicted, no matter how hot and exciting they appear to be. Always make sure that things of value are out of sight and close the doors to rooms with the good stuff. Keep an eye on your guest to make sure he doesn't wander off to parts of the house which are off-limits.
Even if the couple normally doesn't use condoms together, it is the most polite that everybody uses condoms for fucking during the threesome. It's more safe and hygienic, not only for the guest but for everybody, as threesomes tend to be more dynamic - with more switches in positions and roles than during most regular sex sessions. Keep an optimistically large supply of condoms at hand, as you will have to put on a new condom anytime you switch from one guy to the other. If there are multiple rounds of orgasms planned for the threesome, take a quick shower and a pee in between, to start out fresh and clean again.
Using any kind of drugs that are bad for your immune system or that befuddle your brain is an especially bad idea when having sex with more than one person at a time. Unless you are with people who have proven before that they care about your well-being, you can't be sure that in the heat of the moment nothing dangerous will happen. If you are concentrating on sucking one of the guys, for instance, you have to stay alert enough to notice if someone tries to slip inside you from behind without putting on a condom first. Everybody should be watching out for each other and themselves. Should the others not respect your boundaries; leave immediately. If a threesome has you worrying about the consequences for three months afterwards, until you get tested, it wasn't worth it.
Coming to TermsThere are certain things that should be explicitly discussed before committing to a threesome. Most importantly: make sure that everyone is on the same page about the use of condoms and drugs. Also have some idea of what will be expected of you in the threesome. If you are a top, it could be unpleasant to end up in bed with two other tops who had just assumed you were an eager bottom. You don't have to draw out a script for the rest of the night, but have an idea about what is on the menu and what isn't (rimming, fisting etc.). And don't let yourself be talked into doing something you don't really want to do. If you are a couple going into a threesome, it is especially important to set rules for what is allowed with the third partner, to avoid hurt feelings and fights afterwards - or even during.
Emotional MinefieldsJealousy between boyfriends has sunk many a potentially hot threesome. A lot of people like to think they are liberated and cool, only to find unexpected bad feelings bubble up when they see their boyfriend getting busy with someone else. There is nothing wrong with that of course, but it does mean you might want to stay away from threesomes or only have them with people other than your boyfriend; people you have less of an emotional connection to. No matter how horny you are, keep an eye out for signs that your partner is unhappy during the three-way. If you do not, he will likely make you regret it afterwards. Should things starts to derail, either finish up quickly or just stop and politely ask your guest to leave because it's not working out. Try to avoid dragging the guest into your drama.
If you are the guest, make sure to divide your time equally between both of your hosts, even though you will almost always fancy one a little bit more than the other. Back off if you sense you are crossing a boundary that was set between the others. And bask in all the attention you will get from both men as the newcomer.
Applying for Positions
A threesome gives you an opportunity to experience sensations you normally couldn't. You will have more than the usual amount of mouths, butts, hands and dicks at your disposal. Here are a few options you can put on the checklist.BookendsWhile the bottom is getting topped, doggy style for instance, he can suck the third man's cock. The tops can kiss each other during this or just enjoy the hot visual of what the other top is doing. The bottom will feel at least literally fulfilled. The tops can swap positions and if there are two or more versatiles, roles can be exchanged as desired.
Pile-upThree men op top of each other or standing or crouching behind each other; the one at the end fucks the guy in the middle, who is simultaneously fucking the guy up front. The middle position is perfect for a versatile guy, but it can be hard to find a good rhythm and maintain it.
Suck-CircleThree guys (or more, for that matter) lie down in a circle, so that each guy has their face right at the next man's crotch. Suck until bored or cramping.
Under the BridgeWhile one top is fucking the bottom with the legs over his shoulders, the third party stands over the bottom, one foot on each side, and has the top suck him off. It gives the bottom an interesting view of the clenching butt of the guy standing over him and it is a complex dynamic for the guy who is doing the fucking, while choking on a dick.
Seventy (69+1)While two of the three are busy in a 69 position, the third party tops whichever butt is more convenient or appealing.
Double-dickingThis one is for the out and proud power-bottoms: taking two dicks up the butt at the same time. It may be quite a stretch unless you are a regular fistee, even with two medium-sized dicks. The tops can lie down crotch to crotch and push their dicks together to form one major challenge for the bottom. Alternatively, the bottom can sit down on the lap of one of the tops, face to face, after which the top with the longer dick slides in from behind. This gives the second top more opportunity to thrust. Make sure that the condoms don't rip from rubbing up against each other and use lots and lots of lube.
Top Dog or Bottom BoyIf you have fantasies about being a real stallion, topping tons of men on one night, or of being on the receiving end of a gangbang, a threesome can give you a taste of that on a small scale, with less risk to your health. This fantasy is best discussed beforehand, so that you get treated like the expert top or bottom you want to be. The power play does not only extend to the actual fucking; as a top, for instance, calling the shots or having two guys on their knees sucking you can already be a kick. Be sure you have the stamina and skill to pull off your chosen role though, since two people are counting on you.
VoyeurLying back and just watching two people have sex right in front of you can be really hot, so feel free to take a little break and observe the action. While some men get jealous seeing their boyfriend or fuckbuddy have sex, for others it's a turn-on. Just make clear to them that you are not feeling left out and try to be smooth about re-entering the fray.
Steven van L. is a 33 year old Dutch writer living in Amsterdam who is currently working on a string of articles which will hopefully be turned into a book someday. Surprisingly, he is a virgin. No, really.
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