Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-31-2012

Monday, December 31, 2012

Today's Gift

Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, life becomes worth living. And we become grateful. —Beyond Codependency

Wait, and expect good things - for yourself and your loved ones.

When you wonder what is coming, tell yourself the best is coming, the very best life and love have to offer, the best Higher Power and Their universe have to send. Then open your hands to receive it. Claim it, and it is yours.

See the best in your mind; envision what it will look like, what it will feel like. Focus, until you can see it clearly. Let your whole being, body and soul, enter into and hold onto the image for a moment.

Then, let it go. Come back into today, the present moment. Do not obsess. Do not become fearful. Become excited. Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been, all you are, and all you will become.

Wait, and expect good things.
Today, when I think abut the year ahead, I will focus on the good that is coming.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©

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The BEST of Lifelube - "The “Work-In” - First installment!" From Thursday, December 11, 2008

The “Work-In” - First installment!

It will take dedication. You get out what you put in.

Brought to you by Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict(still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned some who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger.

In the GBLTQI community we focus a lot on our outer appearance. How’s my hair? How do I look in this outfit? Does my make-up look good? I’m I too thin, or too fat? We can spend hours at the gym working out without any hesitation. But when it comes to working on our inner being, our soul, we tend to avoid it like the black plague. Many of us don’t even know where to begin.

My hope is that this post will help you figure out how to begin your “Work-In” program. Yes, just like a workout program at the gym, it’s going to be challenging. It won’t be easy. It will hurt like hell at times and will really suck at other times. It will take dedication. You get out what you put in. Lastly, it’s going to take some time to see/feel some results. Patience is a virtue. As a result of all your hard work you will see life in a much different way. You will feel so much better about yourself and the world around you.

Recreating, reinventing or revising who we are is what will keep us stronger than our sorrows; which can lead to unhealthy addictions. I always hear people say “I just want to go back to the way things were and the person I was before I started using drugs or alcohol.” Well I sure the hell don’t want to. What these people don’t realize is that the ways things were, and the person “I” was, is what got us using in the first place.

For most of us in recovery, we were given a second, third, fourth (and so on…) chance at life. Yet we try to do the same things over and over again expecting a different outcome. That, my friends, is the definition of insanity.

Our first lesson is: Accept Change

(Quick Disclaimer: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Only you can. “Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain)

"We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life's morning; for what in the morning was true will in evening become a lie." -- C.G. Jung

Life continually evolves. We’re always moving into new experiences, new possibilities. This constant change unsettles the personality, which finds security in stability. But with life always in flux, that security is an illusion. We experience pain by trying to hold on to things that are not solid.

Life becomes joyful when we can open to the constant flow and ride freely with it. This requires us to let go of the need to control. We need to learn to trust.

"Can it then be that what we call the ‘self’ is fluid and elastic? It evolves, strikes a different balance with every new breath." -- Wayne Muller

"We’re never the same; notice how you’re called to write something entirely different about a topic you responded to weeks or months ago." -- Patrice Vecchione

Personal growth can be a long hard journey. At Higher Awareness you are never left alone. From The Inner Journey (C) Reproductions Permitted: http://www.higherawareness.com

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-28-2012

Friday, December 28, 2011

Today's Gift

I'll walk where my own nature would be leading - It vexes me to choose another guide. —Emily Bronte

We journey across many intersections in our lives. Some may point in two directions, while others lead off in several. Our choice of direction can be difficult, especially when our friends choose a road we know to be dangerous. When this happens, we can choose to go our own way without them. If they begin to tease and taunt us about our decisions, may we remember that they are as scared as we were about their friends' reaction. We are not, after all, living for someone else. If we would be leaders, we can be assured that true leadership comes from following our own directions with confidence that it's right for us, not from fear of losing others' company.

We can let others live their own lives without us, if their direction is not for us. We can walk away with pride, satisfied in the knowledge that we refused to allow other people's fears change our decisions.

How have I gone my own way recently?

From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-27-2012

Thursday, December 27, 2012
Today's Gift

Try not to become a person of success. Rather become a person of value. —Albert Einstein

The marketplace and fashion entice us in countless ways to indulge our individual pleasures. Some say that success will be with the person who follows those seductive beckonings. Even sacrificing long hours by working two jobs to become a financial success or to achieve high career goals can be self-centered activity. It may be time and energy spent seeking power and glory at the cost of time with our family and friends - time for enjoying each other and growing. Sadly, external success leads to superficial pleasure but never to peace within ourselves.

However, when we pursue the values of honesty, humility, and service, we will find enduring self-respect and close friendships. This path provides a genuine experience of life's greatest rewards rather than the glitter of passing excitement.

Today, I will strive toward the greater values rather than superficial successes.

From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-26-2012

Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Today's Gift

GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time... --Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr

Working today

As we approach a new year, many of us feel fear. We look back on the past and worry about the future. But if we remember we only have today, we can work to make that future better. We have found true friends in our fellowship, and this is a time to be with them.

Am I ensuring a fruitful future by working with all I've got today?

Higher Power, I pray for guidance for today and for freedom from worry about tomorrow.

From the book Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-25-2012

Tuesday, December 25, 2012 Today's Gift

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Wishing you happiness. --Helen Keller

The Holidays

Sometimes, the holidays are filled with the joy we associate with that time of year. The season flows. Magic is in the air.

Sometimes, the holidays can be difficult and lonely.

Here are some ideas I've learned through personal experience, and practice, to help us get through difficult holidays:

Deal with feelings, but try not to dwell unduly on them. Put the holidays in perspective: A holiday is one day out of 365. We can get through any 24-hour period.

Get through the day, but be aware that there may be a post-holiday backlash. Sometimes, if we use our survival behaviors to get through the day, the feelings will catch up to us the next day. Deal with them too. Get back on track as quickly as possible.

Find and cherish the love that's available, even if it's not exactly what we want. Is there someone we can give love to and receive love from? Recovering friends? Is there a family who would enjoy sharing their holiday with us? Don't be a martyr - go. There may be those who would appreciate our offer to share our day with them.

We are not in the minority if we find ourselves experiencing a less than ideal holiday. How easy, but untrue, to tell ourselves the rest of the world is experiencing the perfect holiday, and we're alone in conflict.

We can create our own holiday agenda. Buy yourself a present. Find someone to whom you can give. Unleash your loving, nurturing self and give in to the holiday spirit.

Maybe past holidays haven't been terrific. Maybe this year wasn't terrific. But next year can be better, and the next a little better. Work toward a better life - one that meets your needs. Before long, you'll have it.

Higher Power, help me enjoy and cherish this holiday. If my situation is less than ideal, help me take what's good and let go of the rest.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-24-2012

Monday, December 24, 2012

Today's Gift

Remember …don’t let anyone take away your joy during the holidays. Try to love yourself and allow yourself to be embraced by caring, compassionate people. - Author Unknown

Getting Through the Holidays

For some, the sights, signs, and smells of the holidays bring joy and a warm feeling. But, while others are joyously diving into the season, some of us are dipping into conflict, guilt, and a sense of loss.

We read articles on how to enjoy the holidays, we read about the Christmas blues, but many of us still can't figure out how to get through the holiday season. We may not know what a joyous holiday would look and feel like.

Many of us are torn between what we want to do on the holiday, and what we feel we have to do. We may feel guilty because we don't want to be with our families. We may feel a sense of loss because we don't have the kind of family to be with that we want. Many of us, year after year, walk into the same dining room on the same holiday, expecting this year to be different. Then we leave, year after year, feeling let down, disappointed, and confused by it all.

Many of us have old, painful memories triggered by the holidays.

Many of us feel a great deal of relief when the holiday is ended.

One of the greatest gifts of life is learning that we are not alone. There are probably as many of us in conflict during the holidays than there are those who feel at peace. We're learning, through trial and error, how to take care of ourselves a little better each holiday season.

Our first task during the holidays is to accept ourselves, our situation, and our feelings about our situation. We accept our guilt, anger, and sense of loss. It's all okay.

There is no right or perfect way to handle the holidays. Our strength can be found in doing the best we can, one year at a time.

This holiday season, I will give myself permission to take care of myself.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-21-2012

Friday, December 21, 2011

Today's Gift

Every Christmas I hope for the best but expect the worst. --Adult child group member

As bells ring out and carols echo everywhere, we should not be surprised if our spirits take a nosedive. It isn't that we don't understand the meaning of Christmas, or that we reject it, but rather that the idealized version of what Christmas should be has often times been denied us. We may come to resent the fact that all this good cheer seems to be for other people, not us.

Our experiences may have had little to do with family togetherness around a glowing fireplace, loving conversation, and delighted laughter. Such scenes feel like an affront if there has been no family closeness, perhaps no gifts, and little or no overt love. Of course it's wrenching when our own experience clashes so painfully with advertised reality!

But every day is a chance for new experience. We can choose today to create the good cheer that wasn't created for us. It's too late to change yesterday's disappointment, but, if we choose, we can make this holiday season the one we'll remember.

I have made a conscious decision to leave past Christmases in the past. Today, I will begin to plan a celebration.

From the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-20-2012

Thursday, December 20, 2012
Today's Gift

Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life, not even your own child's. The influence you exert is through your own life and what you become yourself. —Eleanor Roosevelt

Taking full responsibility for who we are, choosing friends, making plans for personal achievement, consciously deciding day by day where we want to go with our lives, ushers in adventure such as we've never known. For many of us, months and years were wasted while we passively hid from life in alcohol, drugs, food, and other people. But we are breathing new life today.

The world offers us, daily, the opportunity to participate in the adventure of life. It offers us the opportunity to share our talents, our special gifts with those with whom we share moments of time.

We are becoming, every moment of time. As are our friends. Discovering who and what we really are, alone and with one another within our experiences is worthy of celebration.

I will congratulate others and myself today.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-19-2012

Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Today's Gift

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. --Winston Churchill

As we grow spiritually, we naturally become more generous. It's a quality of a well-developed person. Rather than being anxious over whether we will have enough - and rather than hungrily seeking more and more - we become more openhearted. We feel more abundant within ourselves and find that our spirit of generosity even adds to our own abundant feelings. Where we see a need, we help out.

A generous person doesn't need to shower others with material gifts. The most precious gifts are things such as paying attention to others, respecting them for who they are, and giving our time. Often a material gift is a symbol of the good feelings in a relationship. In our generosity, we also learn to receive others' gifts to us with humility and respect.

Today I take pleasure in my spirit of generosity.

From the book Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-18-2012

Tuesday, December 18, 2012Today's Gift

Love one another, but make not a bond of love. --Kahlil Gibran

Love doesn't demand; love compromises. It doesn't possess; it frees. Love doesn't gloat; it praises. Love makes friends of strangers. It softens our rough edges and strengthens our assets. Knowing we're loved inspires us and invites forth our best effort. Offering our love humbles us and cultivates an inner joy.

Never, in the name of love, should we direct another person's life, but instead let's celebrate the choices made by someone dear, even when they run counter to our own desires. We are each blessed with a destiny, unique and necessary to the others in our lives. We must be allowed to travel our paths to fulfillment.

Let's free one another and know real love.

From the book Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-17-2012

Monday, December 17, 2012

Today's Gift

Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain loving one another. —Erma Bombeck

The most precious time we will ever have we give away by doing volunteer chores to help others get more out of life. There is no material wage for this kind of work, but a host of emotional rewards. The height of volunteer giving is doing an act of kindness or love so quietly that none but ourselves will ever know we had a part in it.

What great humility this can bring to us, who live in a world where selfish people often insist on credit for all their deeds - often things they had nothing to do with.

All we need do is think of all we have received without deserving it or asking for it. By taking part in the giving end of life, we find the true wealth of our own generosity.

What secret gift can I give today?

From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-14-2012

Friday, December 14, 2011

Today's Gift

Each day comes bearing its gifts. Untie the ribbons. —Ann Ruth Schabacker

Today will be filled with surprises, big ones and small ones, like the gifts at a birthday party. Maybe we'll see a friend we haven't seen for a while. Or we'll find something we thought was lost. Whatever happens today will be special, and is meant to help us grow in just the right way.

Growing up doesn't always feel easy. We're expected to be more responsible and thoughtful of others. We're expected to be honest about our feelings and needs. If we're angry or scared, we need to tell someone. Sharing our secret about being afraid relieves us of the fear, and we feel lighter, happier, like after opening a special gift.

When I receive today's gifts, will I stop to appreciate them?

From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-13-2012

Thursday, December 13, 2012
Today's Gift

Sometimes a small thing you do can mean everything in another person's life. Never get tired of doing little things for others, sometimes those little things occupy the biggest parts of their hearts. - Unknown

Giving

Don't be afraid of giving.

For a while, we may need to back off from giving as we learn to discern the difference between healthy giving and caretaking, which leave us feeling victimized and others feeling resentful.

This is a temporary spot.

To be healthy, to do our part in this spiritual way of life, to be part of the endless cycle of the Universe, guided by our Creator, we need to give and receive.

Both parts are important.

What is healthy giving?

This is a fine lined behavior each of us must seek to understand for ourselves. It is giving that feels good and does not leave us feeling victimized.

It is giving that holds the giver and the receiver in high esteem.

It is giving based on a desire to do it rather than from a sense of guilt, pity, shame, or obligation.

It is giving with no strings attached. Or it is giving based on a clean, direct contract.

Whether it is giving our time, efforts, energy, comfort, nurturing, money, or ourselves, it is giving that we can afford.

Giving is part of the chain of giving and receiving. We can learn to give in healthy ways; we can learn to give in love. We need to keep an eye on our giving, to make sure it has not crossed the line into caretaking. But we need to learn to give in ways that work for us and others.

Today, Higher Power, guide me in my giving. Help me give to others in healthy ways. Help me give what feels right, what feels good, what feels clean, and what I can afford.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-12-2012

Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Today's Gift

If I am to be remembered, I hope it is for the honesty I try to demonstrate, the patience I try to live by, and the compassion I feel for others. —JoAnn Reed

Each of us hopes we are leaving a lasting, positive impression on those we befriend and maybe even those we encounter by chance. Having others speak well of us provides the strokes that are often necessary to our "keeping on" when difficulties surface. What we sometimes forget is that we are responsible for whatever lasting impression we leave.
Our behavior does influence what another person carries away from our mutual experience.

We may have left unfavorable impressions during our using days. On occasion, we do yet. However, it's progress, not perfection, we're after. And each day we begin anew, with a clear slate and fresh opportunities to spread good cheer, to treat others with love and respect, to face head-on and with full honesty all situations drawing our attention and participation.

As I look forward to the hours ahead, I will remember that I control my actions toward others. If I want to be remembered fondly, I must treat each person so.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-11-2012

Tuesday, December 11, 2012Today's Gift

Occupation is essential. —Virginia Woolf

Having desires, setting goals, and achieving them are necessary to our fulfillment. There is purpose to our lives, even when we can't clearly see our direction; even when we doubt our abilities to contribute. Let us continue to respond to our opportunities.

Many of us experienced the clouds of inaction in earlier periods waiting, waiting, waiting, hoping our circumstances would change, even praying they would, but taking no responsibility for changing what was in our power. Inaction caged us. Stripped of power, life held little or no meaning. However, we've been given another chance. We have a reason for living, each day, even the days we feel hopeless and worthless.

Maybe we are without a goal at this time. Perhaps the guidance is not catching our attention. We can become quiet with ourselves and let our daydreams act as indicators. We have something essential to do, and we are being given all the chances we'll need to fulfill our purpose. We can trust in our worth, our necessity to others.

I will remember, I must have a part to play. I will look and listen for my opportunities today.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-10-2012

Monday, December 10, 2012

Today's Gift

We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. ― Steve Maraboli

Empowerment
You can think. You can make good decisions. You can make choices that are right for you.

Yes, we all make mistakes from time to time. But we are not mistakes.

We can make a new decision that takes new information into account.

We can change our mind from time to time. That's our right too.

We don't have to be intellectuals to make good choices. In recovery, we have a gift and a goal available to each of us. The gift is called wisdom.

Other people can think too. And that means we no longer have to feel responsible for other people's decisions.

That also means we are responsible for our choices.

We can reach out to others for feedback. We can ask for information. We can take opinions into account. But it is our task to make our own decisions. It is our pleasure and right to have our own opinions.

We are each free to embrace and enjoy the treasure of our own mind, intellect, and wisdom.

Today, I will treasure the gift of my mind. I will do my own thinking, make my own choices, and value my opinions. I will be open to what others think, but I will take responsibility for myself. I will ask for and trust that the Divine Wisdom is guiding me.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-7-2012

Friday, December 7, 2011

Today's Gift

Uncertainty, when accepted, sheds a bright light on the power of intention. That is what you can count on: not the outcome, but the motivation you bring, the vision you hold, the compass setting you choose to follow. -- Joanna Macy

When the Time is Right

There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering.

We can get through these times. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources.

Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse.

It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say, "I don't know," and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none.

While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim.

Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever.

Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-6-2012

Thursday, December 6, 2012
Today's Gift

Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. —William James

Before Orville and Wilbur Wright ever flew the first airplane at Kitty Hawk, they believed flight was possible. They had a picture of it in their minds. The first step in creating anything is to be able to picture it in our minds. If we can picture it as a possibility, we can work to make it happen.

When we were small, we dreamed a thousand dreams about what could happen in our lives. Anything, even magical things, seemed like they could happen, and our world was full of visions. That part of us that believes wonderful, magical things can happen is still in us. It may have been beaten down for a while, but it is still there waiting to help us seek the wonderful, lovely, and good things in life.
Which of my dreams can I work toward today?

From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©

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Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-5-2012

Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Today's Gift

It is a long baptism into the seas of humankind, my daughter. Better immersion than to live untouched. —Tillie Olsen

We have each had days when we preferred hiding under the covers, avoiding life at all costs. And in times gone by, we did just that, sometimes too frequently. What we didn't always know, and what we still forget on occasion, is that we have a ready and willing partner who will join us in every pursuit.

The more fully we commit ourselves to one another and to all our experience, the closer we will come to the very serenity we long for. Serenity accompanies our increasing understanding of life's many mysteries. It's easy to cheat ourselves out of the prizes any day offers us. Fear fosters inertia, leaving us separate, alone, even more afraid. But we have an appointment with life. And our appointment will bring us to the place of full understanding, the place where we'll be certain, forever after, that all is well. And that life is good.

Today's appointments are part of the bigger plan for my life. I will face them, enjoy them, and reap their rewards.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey©

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