Saturday, December 31, 2011

A Day for the Cure in the U.S. Capital

by Mark Hubbard, for LifeLube

It’s sometimes hard to describe what we HIV/AIDS advocates do. Over the years, when I submitted a bio or printed home-made business cards, I described myself as an “independent educator, advocate, and activist.” At the same time, I often commented, “I don’t do politics.” I knew that work needed to be done, but I wanted to focus on what I saw as my strengths – presentations, committees, outreach, etc. “Bring on the prevention education,” I said,“bring on the planning group involvement, bring on the research advocacy – just leave me out of the politics.”

There’s a word for that kind of thinking - denial.

Perhaps the reason I stayed in that denial so long was that we were spoiled. Until the middle of the last decade, any Tennessean who had HIV and was uninsured was eligible for TennCARE, our state’s souped-up, generous version of Medicaid. We never had an ADAP waiting list and nearly anyone who tried to get clinical and support services could get them.

Then the screws were tightened. TennCARE was gradually dismantled and replaced by a much more austere program for which most PLWHA’s are ineligible. Medicare Part D and aggressive management on the part of the state health department prevented disaster, but the future became cloudy. Expanded testing led to many new diagnoses. Tennessee had its first ever ADAP waiting list for a time in 2010 and with the current budget running neck and neck with need we very well could have one again in 2012.

Don’t get me wrong. When particularly threatening issues came up I tried to do my duty by making a phone call or writing an email. During the fight to save TennCARE I showed up at some public hearings and even testified in court. Mostly though, I kept my head down. Then, when the Ryan White CARE Act was up for reauthorization, the community came together to form the Tennessee AIDS Advocacy Network (TAAN). I joined their email list and attended a workshopon how to engage elected officials.

Over time, the truth became self-evident. There never has been and there never will be HIV/AIDS advocacy without politics.

A Challenge

About three months ago a friend and colleague forwarded an email from the Treatment Action Group (TAG) to me. The subject line read: “Scholarship Application: What Would You Do for the Cure? An AIDS community challenge.” Recipients would travel to Washington DC to meet with congressional delegations. They’d stress the importance of cure and HIV and aging research. It seemed like I was just the sort of person they wanted, but it was politics. Scheduling would be a challenge due to a family obligation. I’d been working on a better balance between the personal and the professional, and I’d promised myself not to over-commit. I wrote my friend and told her I probably wouldn’t apply.

I slept on it a couple of nights though, and came to some realizations. I could make my schedule work. I care very much about these two areas of research as did one of my heroes, Martin Delaney.Although I’d met with state officials once or twice, I’d never done so on the federal level. This was an opportunity to grow and I could get past my anxiety about politics. I applied and feel fortunate to be one of about 35 folks selected to speak truth to power about HIV/AIDS research.

We’re a small group, but our diversity is exciting. We’re straight, gay, black, white, yellow, brown, single, married, newly diagnosed, long term survivors and HIV negative allies. We’re ministers, lobbyists, social workers, athletes, prevention and social service providers and our ages range from 20-something to 60-something.

A New Day

On conference calls, we learned that United States National Institutes of Health (NIH) funding, and the corresponding funding for HIV/AIDS research, had been fairly consistently maintained over the years without much need for organized community advocacy. It hadn’t been ideal – with level funding or with small increases, inflation had yielded a 15% decline in buying power over 8 years – but no one had ever really feared radical cuts.

We all realize, however, that it is a new day in Congress. In some ways, it is a scary new day. Many long term stalwart supporters of NIH funding are gone. Some like Senator Kennedy have died. Others were defeated and replaced by individuals who either are simply inexperienced and less than knowledgeable about HIV/AIDS orwho are radical fiscal conservatives willing to indiscriminately swing the axe 360 degrees.

On the Hill


Finally some twelve weeks ago, inexperienced and experienced alike, we arrived in Washington DC. We traveled from 20 different states -from Minnesota to Texas, from New Jersey to Florida, and from points in between to begin our new initiative. We introduced ourselves, shared a meal, and laid plans for the next day’s advocacy on the Hill.

We introduced ourselves as constituents to congressional staffers and discussed the importance of federally sponsored research with them. We talked with pride about the excellence the U.S. has demonstrated in the field and how that manifests in critical work in and for our communities, from the laboratory to the clinic. We reminded them that HIV/AIDS research has led to progress in countless other fields. Although we highlighted the hope and need for cure research and the emerging urgency around HIV/AIDS and aging research, our primary ask was simpler:“Will you please commit to advocating for the highest possible level of NIH funding?”

Were there a lot of immediate, momentous, life changing outcomes? It depends on how you look at it. When it comes to funding, particularly in the current political environment, that’s not a realistic expectation. Just as we know that HIV/AIDS research is a long haul of incremental progress (and regular setbacks), we know that whatever we accomplish with Congress will be the result of patience and persistence.

On the other hand, experiencing the reality that we can – that anyone can - schedule an appointment, walk into elected officials’ offices, and actually be heard, was for some of us a very profound experience.


The Treatment Action Group has expressed its long-term commitment to this project. So have we. We’ve made our start.It’s the birth of a new effort to preserve HIV/AIDS research funding, but beyond that we believe it’s the beginning of an important new effortto help ensure that cure research will expand and succeed.

Being an HIV/AIDS educator, advocate, and activist is tough work. I often feel impatient, angry, sad, frustrated, and burnt out. I mustn’t forget the progress we’ve made and the times of satisfaction, joy, and triumph I’ve experienced. On this first day of 2012, as I enter my 25th year of living with HIV and struggling to fight the pandemic, I remind myself to focus on the one consistent gift all of my work has provided:a sense of hope.

Happy New Year, fellow advocates. Happy New Year indeed!

Friday, December 30, 2011

[VIDEO] How is ZiZi Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!



How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.

Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.

Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 



Youth Activisim for a Better Tomorrow

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Warren J. Blumenfeld

It was a brilliantly sunny, though rather cool, mid-June afternoon in Boston. Banners flying, music blasting, people of all walks of life assembled, reuniting, greeting, embracing, kissing, catching up on lives lived in the space between.

The signal was given with a contagious cheer rising from the crowd, and for the next few hours the streets would be theirs:

Dykes on Bikes revving their engines; shirtless muscled young men dancing to a disco beat atop flatbed floats winding their way down the streets; dazzling drag queens in red and gold and silver; the Freedom Trail Marching Band trumpeting the call;

a black-and-white cocker spaniel wearing a sign announcing "DON'T ASSUME I'M STRAIGHT"; lesbian moms and gay dads pushing strollers or walking beside youth of all ages; Gays for Patsy Klein decked out in their finest country duds, two-stepping down the boulevard;

AIDS activists falling to the pavement of those same boulevards in mock death to expose governmental and societal inaction, which is still killing so many; married same-sex couples walking hand in hand;

Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (P-FLAG) proclaiming "WE ARE PROUD OF OUR LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENDER SONS AND DAUGHTERS";

alongside political, social, and service organizations, business and religious caucuses of all stripes and denominations, and of course, bystanders watching the procession, holding court from the sidelines.

And in the midst of this merriment and this protest, the humorous posters and angry placards, the enormous rainbow balloon sculptures arching overhead, and the colorful streamers and glistening "fairy dust" wafting down from open windows, amid the shiny black leather and shimmering lamé,

the multicolored T-shirts and the drab business suits, came the youth, their radiant young faces catching the rays of the sun, marching side-by-side, hand-in-hand, their middle school, high school, and college Gay/Straight Alliance banners waving exaltedly in this storm of humanity, announcing their entry, their solidarity, their feisty outrage, and yes, their pride, chanting

"Two, Four, Six, Eight, Queer is Just as Good as Straight, Three, Five, Seven, Nine, LGBTs are Mighty Fine;" then, gaining intensity, singing, "Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Homophobia Has Got to Go," and then, as if hit by an all-consuming revelation, shouting, "We're Here, We're Queer, We're Not Going Back, We're NOT Going Back, WE'RE NOT GOING BACK!"

And indeed, they will not go back into those dank closets of fear and denial that stifles the spirit and ruins so many lives. Oh, they will physically return to their schools and their homes.

They will continue to study and play sports, to watch movies, listen to their iPods, and write about their days on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.

Some will most likely continue to serve as community organizers, and some will go on to become parents, educators and political leaders once their school days are behind.

The place they will go to, though, is nowhere that can be seen. It is a place of consciousness that teaches those who have entered that everyone is diminished when any one of us is demeaned; that heterosexism, sexism, and bisexual, intersex, and transgender oppression (as well as all the other forms of oppression) have no place in a just society.

From the sidelines of the parade, beginning as a whisper and gaining to a mighty roar of support: "We are so glad you are here," came voices from the crowd.

"We wish we could have done this when we were in grade school and in college," cried others too numerous to count. "Thank you so much for your courage!"


Read the rest

"Pariah Personals" Coming Out Stories by Youth of Color

via GLAAD, by Amita Swadhin

This week, Salon.com teamed up with New America Media to run a series of coming out stories by LGBT youth of color and LGBT immigrant youth

Titled "Pariah Personals," the series is inspired by the recently released film "Pariah," a coming-of-age story about an African American teen named Alike, who is embracing her identity as a lesbian. 

The film opened today in New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles with positive reviews.

"Pariah Personals" kicked off on Monday with a piece by GLAAD National People of Color Media Institute participant Jamilah King, news editor for ColorLines. King's story focuses on her process of coming out at age 21 to her single mother, fearful of how her disclosure would affect their relationship. 

She states, "Over the years, I’ve come to understand that 'coming out' is more of a daily commitment than a singular event.

It’s the resolve to live openly and honestly; an affirmation of self-love that needs to be repeated with nearly each encounter.

For my mom and me, it’s been a commitment to at least start a conversation, and to remember the pride we have in one another."
Tuesday's installment featured the story of Jean Melesaine, a Samoan American who struggled to find acceptance within her family once her parents became followers of the Mormon church. 

Melesaine explains that there is room for her identity within her indigenous culture, stating, "Samoans always had two-spirit people in our culture, meaning people who were in touch with both masculine and feminine spirits.

In Samoa they use the terms 'fafa’afine' (like a woman) and 'fafa’atama' (like a man)."  However, once her family converted, Melesaine did not feel that acceptance any longer. 

She states, "One day when I was 5 years old, someone handed me a youth pamphlet. On the cover were young white people with big smiles, dressed in white.

I started flipping through it and reading the passages. There were two things I learned that moment that changed my life.

One, I now had language, a word for what I always thought I was; and two, that I would not enter the kingdom of God." 

This lack of acceptance led her to engage in acts of property theft beginning at age 7, culminating in a jail sentence two weeks before she graduated from high school. 

Now 26, Melesaine is the associate editor and community organizer for Silicon Valley De-Bug, a media collective in San Jose. She states, "Coming out was always like coming home to myself, and at 26, I’m grateful to finally feel at home and I applaud those who are still fighting to find their way home."


Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-30-11


Friday, December 30, 2011
Today's Gift
Telling the truth is a pretty hard thing. —Thomas Wolfe

Lying can be like sailing choppy waters. The more we lie, the higher the waves get, and the harder the sailing. When we lie, we feel we've failed ourselves and others. We have to work hard to cover up our lies, and the fear of someone finding out is always with us.

If we ask our Higher Power for courage to tell the truth, we can be like the sailboat on a clear and calm day. We can enjoy the small waves and the light warm breeze we've given ourselves. Honesty is a good habit, and is easy. With a little faith in our own worth, we can choose the calm waters' honesty and apply our creativity to new, growth-oriented activities instead of covering up old mistakes.

How can I smooth my waters right now?
From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©
Read more Daily Motivations at http://thework-in.blogspot.com

Thursday, December 29, 2011

[VIDEO] How is Angel Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!



How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.

Tell us HERE. Send a pic and/or a link to your own video.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.

Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 

L.A. To be First City to Mandate Condoms in Porn?

via Queerty, by Evan Mulvihill

A measure that would require actors in porn films to wear condoms qualified to be on the ballot next June in L.A., the adult-film capital of the United States.

The AIDS Healthcare Center collected around 71,000 signatures for the measure, almost double the 41,000 needed to get on the ballot.

Although condom usage is fairly widespread in mainstream gay porn, most major straight-porn companies don’t use them consistently.

Rising tensions about AIDS in the porn industry have reached a fever pitch in the past year: An AIDS scare based on a positive result from star Derrick Burts put a halt on the entire U.S. porn industry this August.

Just a few weeks ago, the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation, a testing center partially funded by the porn industry, was shut down after being criticized by Burts and called a “sham clinic” by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation.

The ballot initiative has its detractors: L.A. City Atty. Carmen Trutanich says she believes the issue is for the state to regulate, not the city or county, and has filed papers saying so.


Read the rest

What it Means to Write a Gay Love Song

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Mark Hamilton

When first asked to write on "what it means to write a gay love song," I thought I'd take a stroll to my neighbourhood café, where I do most of my writing and working, and by the time I'd arrived would have a definitive answer regarding the gay love song as one of the ultimates in queer defiance and political statement. But now that I'm here, I simply don't.

To me, as songwriter, every love song I write is a gay love song. Perhaps it's a weakness as a performer that I can't sing something unless I truly believe in it (otherwise, I'm just too embarrassed), so when I sing of love, I sing only of the kind of love that I know. And that, for me, is always a big gay one.

I'm releasing a new EP of music titled For Paolo, and the title track is a love song I wrote for my Viennese boyfriend. He calls me the colloquial "schatzi," so to his embarrassment I put it in the chorus.

If there's something to do that he thinks is important, he tells me that I "better should," so that's in there, too.

He'd like me to believe he's the shy type and that having his name in the title of a song (never mind as the title of a full EP's worth of music) is a struggle for him, but I can tell he's more than a little chuffed about it.

"How dare he say anything about my song," he told me last night, when a friend who hates pet names said he liked the song except for what he considered an overuse of "schatzi."

So yes, indeed, "For Paolo" is a gay love song of the highest degree. It's got the gay gene. It was born this way.

And yet, despite what I need to believe in order to perform a song genuinely, I can also realize that my songs' genders and sexualities can vanish entirely once they leave my lips and hit the listener's ear.

At some point, everyone has a "schatzi," and it really makes no difference if the one I'm singing to in my mind has a beard and the same private parts that I do.

I've received letters from straight married couples telling me that their first straight wedding dance was to some gay song I wrote for some hot guy on the other side of the planet.

In one case, a couple told me they'd danced to a song that I'd originally written for a straight (sure) construction worker I'd been hooking up with in Calgary a couple of summers ago.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've put more straight love songs on mix tapes for gay crushes than I could ever possibly remember.

It doesn't even matter if he (or she) is singing to a she (or he), because it's the sentiment that gets us through sides A and B to the end of the tape.

I'd argue that love songs, once they come to mean something to you, don't really even have a sexuality anymore. ("The Man That I Am with My Man" by The Hidden Cameras might defeat this rule, but for the most part, for me it seems to stick.)

So, what does it mean to write a gay love song? Pretty much the same as it means to write any song. It means something particular and unique to everyone who listens to it, gay, straight, bi, transgender, or questioning.

And personally I hope all those people like what I've done in tribute to my handsome, homo boyfriend, and would love every guy, girl, guy-girl and girl-guy to make out with their respective partners (or groups thereof) to it and let me know how it goes.


Read the rest

Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-29-11

Thursday, December 29, 2011
Today's Gift

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. —Ralph Waldo Emerson

After we get a new understanding about ourselves we think, "Now I will never have to make the same mistake again!" But our lessons are usually not that easily learned. We have to get them into our muscles and bones as well as our heads. Some of us have to learn how to be kind; others, how to be good listeners or how to stand up for ourselves in many different ways. Every new situation calls on a little different way of knowing, and perhaps we have to fall a few times in the learning.

The most important asset in our lives is the faith to get up again and continue. We must accept our imperfections. Each time we fall and with each mistake we make, we're vulnerable to doubting and losing faith. By rising again, we make progress in our learning and continue to become better men.

Today, I will have faith, even in the midst of my mistakes.



From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men©


Read more Daily Motivations at http://thework-in.blogspot.com

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-28-11

Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Today's Gift

The human heart dares not stay away too long from that which hurt it most. There is a return journey to anguish that few of us are released from making. —Lillian Smith

As the sore tooth draws our tongue, so do rejections, affronts, painful criticisms, both past and present draw our minds. We court self-pity, both loving and hating it. But we can change this pattern. First we must decide we are ready to do so. The program tells us we must become "entirely ready." And then we must ask to have this shortcoming removed.

The desire to dwell on the injustices of our lives becomes habitual. It takes hours of our time. It influences our perceptions of all other experiences. We have to be willing to replace that time-consuming activity with one that's good and healthy.

We must be prepared for all of life to change. Our overriding self-pity has so tarnished our perceptions that we may never have sensed all the good that life daily offers. How often we see the glass as half-empty rather than half-full!


A new set of experiences awaits me today. And I can perceive them unfettered by the memories of the painful past. Self-pity need not cage me, today.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey©

Read more Daily Motivations at http://thework-in.blogspot.com

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-27-11

Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Today's Gift
 
Try not to become a person of success. Rather become a person of value. —Albert Einstein

The marketplace and fashion entice us in countless ways to indulge our individual pleasures. Some say that success will be with the man who follows those seductive beckonings. Even sacrificing long hours by working two jobs to become a financial success or to achieve high career goals can be self-centered activity. It may be time and energy spent seeking power and glory at the cost of time with our family and friends - time for enjoying each other and growing. Sadly, external success leads to superficial pleasure but never to peace within ourselves.

However, when we pursue the values of honesty, humility, and service, we will find enduring self-respect and close friendships. This path provides a genuine experience of life's greatest rewards rather than the glitter of passing excitement.


Today, I will strive toward the greater values rather than superficial successes.

From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men©

Read more Daily Motivations at http://thework-in.blogspot.com

Monday, December 26, 2011

How is Laura Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!



How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.

Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.

Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 



Op-ed: Let Your Money Talk to Help LGBT Organizations

via Advocate, by Jimmy Nguyen, op-ed contributor

I repeatedly hear and see criticism of LGBT organizations and their leaders.

The chatter machine gripes about why the Defense of Marriage Act hasn’t been repealed yet, why transgender persons are not always included in proposed legislation, and even why there is a glut of gay charity summer pool parties.

LGBT people sure like to talk about the work of gay social justice groups; but far too often, they criticize without doing much to help.

While serving on the board of directors for Equality California for the last few years, and while helping support other groups financially or otherwise, I found myself immersed in dialogue about the LGBT rights movement.

I’m all for constructive criticism. No entity or person is beyond reproach, and feedback from the community is always good.

But much criticism comes from people who donate no money to any LGBT group (let alone contribute time to serve).

In 2010, less than 3% of LGBT adults in the U.S. gave money to any national LGBT organizations; the number of donors who gave $35 or more to LGBT non-profits dropped 12%.

These disheartening statistics were reported by the Movement Advancement Project in its recently released 2011 National LGBT Movement Report. (Fortunately, the report found LGBT organizations remain fiscally healthy due to support from other sources.)

If the LGBT community wants progress toward full equality, the other 97% of us need to financially support the organizations that fight our fights.

With the holiday season and tax year-end upon us, now is the perfect time to contribute and let your money talk for you.

Why don’t LGBT people give money? Let’s debunk the most common reasons I hear.


Read the rest

GMHC on Needle Exchange Funding Ban

via Advocate, by Neal Broverman

Congress removed funding for syringe exchange programs in the budget they passed last week and the Gay Men's Health Crisis say that was a big mistake.

Federal funding for needle exchanges, which studies show reduce HIV transmissions, was removed during the tenure of George W. Bush; it returned when Barack Obama took office.

But the Republican-controlled House has worked repeatedly to remove the funding since then and they were successful last week.

"New York City experienced a 78% decline in reported HIV infections among intravenous drug users since syringe exchange became available (from 1990 to 2002) - supported by state and local funds," according to a press release from the New York-based GMHC. 

GMHC CEO Marjorie Hill calls Congress's ban on federal funding extremely shortsighted.

"How do you get to zero new infections when you let ideology stand in the way of using existing proven tools to reduce the rate of HIV infection," Hill said in the release.

"It is hypocritical that Congress would allow this retrograde policy to be put back into place. It is especially reprehensible that this step was taken during the 30th year of the epidemic when, as stated by the federal government, the tools exist to end the spread of HIV.

This action, along with the decision to wastefully spend taxpayer dollars on disproven abstinence-only education demonstrates a clear lack of commitment by Congress to seriously confront HIV."


Read the rest

Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-26-11

Monday, December 26, 2011
Today's Gift
 
You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called present. -Shifu: Kung Fu Panda
 
As we approach a new year, many of us feel fear. We look back on the past and worry about the future. But if we remember we only have today, we can work to make that future better. We have found true friends in our fellowship, and this is a time to be with them.
 
Am I ensuring a fruitful future by working with all I've got today?
 
Higher Power, I pray for guidance for today and for freedom from worry about tomorrow.
 
From the book: Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

Read more Daily Motivations at http://thework-in.blogspot.com

Friday, December 23, 2011

How is Matt Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!



How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.

Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.

Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 

'LGBT' Transforming into Alphabet Soup?

via Huffpost Gay voices, by Chris Tina

LGBTQIAAP: lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, allies, and panseuxal

Really? Are we trying to communicate a message or create alphabet soup?

As a newbie to the LGBT community, I felt it was my responsibility to learn the history and understand how we came to be where we are and how I can help move us forward.

These are the majority of acronyms and definitions (based on GLAAD's glossary of terms), even with some disagreement within our community:

•Lesbian: a woman whose enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction is to other women. Some lesbians may prefer to identify as gay, or as gay women.

•Gay: the adjective used to describe people whose enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attractions are to people of the same sex (e.g., a gay man, gay people).

•Bisexual: an individual who is physically, romantically, and/or emotionally attracted to men and women.

•Transgender: an umbrella adjective for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. The term may include, but is not limited to, transsexuals, cross-dressers, and other gender-variant people.

Transgender people may identify as female-to-male (FTM) or male-to-female (MTF). Transgender people may or may not decide to alter their bodies hormonally and/or surgically.

•Queer: traditionally a pejorative term, "queer" has been appropriated by some LGBT people to describe themselves. However, it is not universally accepted even within the LGBT community and should be avoided unless quoting or describing someone who self-identifies that way.

•Questioning: the adjective used to describe people who are unsure of their sexual orientation.

•Intersex: the adjective used to describe a person whose biological sex is ambiguous. There are many genetic, hormonal, or anatomical variations that make a person's sex ambiguous (e.g., Klinefelter syndrome). The term "intersex" is not interchangeable with or a synonym for "transgender."

•Asexual: an individual who is not physically, romantically, or emotionally attracted to others.

•Ally: a person who is not lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual, or pansexual but who supports the LGBT(QQIAAP) community.

•Pansexual: a person who is attracted to others without taking gender or biological sex into account.

Even in our own community, we are not clear on all the acronyms that represent us. If I, as a person in the LGBT community, am having a hard time understanding and knowing all the acronyms sprouting up every other month, how can we honestly expect mainstream America to understand?

Our message is supposed to about unity to obtain equality, although we cannot even communicate a clear and consistent message.

I believe that we are doing ourselves a disservice by expanding our acronym for every micro group instead of projecting a simple and understandable message of equality for all.


Read the rest

Queer and Immigrant for the Holidays

via HuffPost Gay Voices, by Erwin de Leon

The holidays are meant to be a time of merriment and family, but so can it be disappointing, even depressing, for some.

This time of the year can be especially hard for immigrants who are separated from dear ones overseas.

Many seek the company of compatriots to recreate festivities and meals that evoke their countries of origin.

Most turn to their ethnic congregations for services consistent with their values and traditions.

Queer immigrants, like any other newcomer, can find the holidays tough. But it can also be doubly hard for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender immigrants, as they feel left out not only by the mainstream but by their own families and ethnic communities, which tend to be conservative and unwelcoming of openly LGBT individuals.

"My blood family and I had a contentious relationship due to my political involvement teemed with my sexuality and gender identity," said K, who identifies as queer, transgender, and of Philippine descent.

"Due to this, I was kicked out, homeless, and estranged as a young person from my blood family. This has incited displacement, a painful sense of mobility, and an instability that show itself during holiday time."

Tania, a community organizer at the Immigrant Youth Justice League and coordinator for the LGBTQ Immigrant Rights Project at the Association of Latino Men for Action, says her family has come around.

They are more comfortable with her being out, and she is able to bring her partner home for the holidays.
She nonetheless feels a great loss at this time of the year.

Tania is undocumented. Her parents brought their family over from Mexico 18 years ago when she was only 10 years old.

It is important for her to describe herself as without papers. "That's really an important part of my identity because it's something that has been true for me for most of my life," she said. "It's something that has affected every aspect of how I live."

"It's really difficult to listen to people's plans of traveling at this time to a country where I can't go even if I wish I could," she admitted.

She sorely misses her extended family and laments the fading ties.

"I've lost touch with my family in Mexico, my cousins, my grandparents," she said. "When I talk about Christmas and New Years and Three Kings Day as being family time, it really has only been my immediate family, my mom, my sister, my dad, and myself, plus the few friends and chosen family that have also gathered around us, both from the LGBT community and the immigrant undocumented community."

Many queer immigrants spend the holidays with "chosen families," usually others who share their gender orientation and identity and their struggles in America.


Read the rest

Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-23-11

Friday, November 23, 2011
Today's Gift

... [To] take something from yourself, to give to another, that is humane and gentle and never takes away as much comfort as it brings again. --Thomas More

We take different kinds of pleasure in giving. Perhaps the purest is the gift to a child so young it doesn't really know who the gift came from; the pure joy that the teddy bear or pull-toy produces is our regard, unmixed by any expectation of return.

When children get older, we want something back from them: gratitude, respect. The gift is less pure. When lovers exchange gifts, their pleasure is often tinged with anxiety: Did I give more than I got? Did I get more than I gave? Or with power: He'll always remember where he got that shirt; she owes me something for the fur jacket.

To friends and relations our gifts reflect many things: our appreciation of their lives, our shared memories, our prosperity. We tend to give in a spirit of self-expression.

Perhaps the closest we can come to a pure gift is an anonymous one; a gift of volunteer work, of blood, or a contribution to a charity. Such a gift which can never be acknowledged or returned by those it comforts can heal our spirits when they are wearied by too much ego.

The gift of myself can be a gift to myself.

From the book: The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg
 
Read more Daily Motivations at http://thework-in.blogspot.com

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Come Home to Yourself for the Holidays

via Huffpost Gay Voices, by John-Manuel Andriote

The four little words "home for the holidays" pack worlds of meaning and sentiment. They may evoke warm memories of dazzling decorations, family gatherings, gift exchanges, holiday parties, and way too much food.

But for too many LGBT people, "home for the holidays" means anxiety, drama, and stress from families that may not accept them.

Those of a certain age (full disclosure: I'm 53) can find that this season brings up difficult memories of loved ones taken from us cruelly and prematurely by AIDS and other causes.

Missing our friends at this time of year can underscore our grief for the lives we started to build in our younger years with friends and colleagues we expected to know our whole lives, who are now gone.

For some of us, HIV/AIDS has had such a profound impact that it has made us reassess our lives and make big changes. For me, my own 2005 HIV diagnosis sparked a very real midlife crisis.

After I was able to be more rational and knew I wasn't likely to get sick or die in the near future, I chose in 2007 to return to my hometown of 40,000 in eastern Connecticut. I'd spent 30 years "away," living in big cities: Boston, Chicago, New York, and 22 years in Washington, D.C.

It's an understatement to say I never expected to live in Norwich again. But time, and a changed perspective, can make a man think about "home," and even his old hometown, in surprising new ways.

Longtime activist David Mixner writes in his new memoir, At Home with Myself: Stories from the Hills of Turkey Hollow, about coming to grips with turning 60 and finally letting himself process the impact AIDS has had on him.

For Mixner, dropping out of his busy life for a while, like a modern Henry David Thoreau, gave him the perspective he hadn't been able to gain in the midst of his whirlwind of activity.

For three years, in a mountaintop house perched between two peaks in a town of 10 full-time residents two and a half hours from Manhattan, Mixner kept company with animals, birds, the moon and stars, and, most importantly, himself. In Turkey Hollow, fully living life came to mean something different for Mixner.

Instead of carousing on Fire Island and late-night dancing with younger friends, it now had more to do with quiet pleasures like watching an eagle soar from a cliff. "After a lifetime I was at home with myself," he writes.

As it did for David Mixner, home has taken on new meaning for me since I gave up my "big-city" life. For me, home isn't a particular house, though it is an area of land, with its own geography, history, and lore.

We New Englanders feel deep ties to our rugged landscapes and take pride in the independent and resilient Yankees who have gone before us into the "history" that surrounds us in our old houses, town greens, and graveyards.

Home is my family, the people I've known my entire life. We are similar in the ways families are similar, but we are also very different in important ways, too.

Somehow we have managed to stand with each other through the best and worst times for more than half a century now.

And home also has come to mean being at home with myself. For years, I was embarrassed about my lifelong interest in plants and flowers; it seemed so "gay." Now I live in a place, back where I began, where men farm and garden and talk about it with knowledge and pleasure.

I was shy about the fact that I have loved to cook since I was a kid. But I've always been told I take after my grandfather John, who owned a restaurant and was known as a terrific chef. It's not unusual for Greek men to cook, but when I was a younger man, I wasn't yet ready to embrace that part of my heritage.

So "home for the holidays" has new significance for me. It means not just a special place or people I love who also love me. Now it means embracing the life that has been given to me, and the man I was made to be. Home, as they say, is where the heart is. Home is also in the heart.

It seems to me the longest, most difficult journey in life is the search for our true home, that accepting and safe place "somewhere over the rainbow."

Yet when we find it, the place where dreams really do come true, it can look so different from what we ever imagined. And we realize it's been inside of us all the time, waiting for us to discover it and, finally, come home to ourselves.


Read the rest

DePaul's first openly gay student president


While he was growing up in a traditional Italian Catholic household, unexpected story lines about gay and lesbian relationships would occasionally crop up on television shows his family had sat down together to watch.

 “It always seemed to be a point of discussion among our parents that it was wrong,” Alfano, the middle of three children, said.

“Either the channel would be changed or it would get upsetting to watch, uncomfortable for everybody.”

Alfano, in secret, was more upset than any of them, even on the verge of taking his own life.

He was afraid those things at the very center of his world — family, faith and hockey — would reject him if and when the truth of his own life came out.

Today, Alfano has put those worries behind him as the first openly gay student body president in DePaul University's 113-year history, a double major law school hopeful who, in his free time, is a standout forward for the Chicago Gay Hockey Association men's league.

The past several years have been what Alfano, now of Lake in the Hills, calls a “continuous journey” of self-discovery that has tested the bonds of friendship, faith and family.

When Alfano was an eighth-grader at Maria Goretti Catholic School in Schiller Park, he first began wrestling with the idea that he might be gay.

As he came to terms with those feelings over the next few years, he felt compelled to keep everything bottled up inside.

The former captain of the Huntley Raiders varsity hockey team, he was aware of homophobic attitudes that existed both on and off the ice.

“I don't have any family that are out, and I didn't have any really good friends at high school that were out,” he says.

There was no playbook for this sort of thing, he says.

In fall 2008, two months into his freshman year at DePaul, Alfano decided to tell his best friend at home that he's gay.

“She took it incredibly,” he said. That positive reaction helped give him the courage to tell other close friends the news a few months later over Christmas break.

With his family, however, it's taken more time. Alfano told his parents this summer, the most difficult part of his coming-out process.

“My family has embraced it better than I expected,” he said. “It's definitely hard with Mom and Dad. They're still embracing it and accepting it fully.”

His parents were unavailable to comment for this article.

His older brother Peter — who Alfano says has been very supportive — has not returned calls seeking comment.

Catholic doctrine teaches that “homosexual desires” are not in themselves sinful, but acting upon them is.
“I do think being both raised Catholic and coming out has shaped how I view (my faith),” Alfano said.

Right now, instead of identifying himself as a Catholic, he says he's focused on aspects of different religions, a “more holistic view of humanity,” if you will.

While he praises Catholic social teaching, and its respect of “inherent human dignity,” he also admits it's “hard to support an institution which in some way is oppressing you as well.”

Yet, struggles with faith haven't stopped him from success — or acceptance — at DePaul University in Chicago, the largest Catholic college in the country.

Alfano will graduate in June with a double major in international studies and political science.

Alfano, who officially came out to the world on Oct. 10 — National Coming Out Day — says he didn't make an explicit note of being gay during his campaign for student body president.

“My campaign was really focused on the students and the voices of students,” he said.

He says students, as well as the school administration, have overwhelmingly supported him.

In a written statement, assistant vice president Robin Florzak called Anthony's decision to speak about his sexual identity a “courageous personal decision.”

“Anthony is a remarkable young man and student leader, and we hope that his candor helps other young people facing these issues to feel comfortable discussing their orientation with family and friends,” she said.


Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-22-11

Thursday, December 22, 2011
Today's Gift

There isn't enough darkness in all the world to snuff out the light of one little candle. —Anonymous

Our lives can be like a battle between darkness and light. The darkness might be in our moods when we wake in the morning with feelings of despair. Then we can turn to the light of a prayer for openness: "God help me feel your love and acceptance." The darkness is there when we are tempted to take advantage of a clerk who gives us too much change. Perhaps we tell ourselves, "Everyone does it, it won't matter if I do."

Then the light comes as we remember that this program demands rigorous honesty, and each choice for honesty promotes our growth. The darkness may be when someone we care about is hurt or in danger, and we think, "I have to step in to prevent bad things from happening." Then we turn to our Higher Power for strength to stay in the relationship, but not control it.

Today, I can take a leap of faith by choosing an action and accepting that one small choice for the light makes a difference - even in all the darkness.


From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men©


Read more Daily Motivations at http://thework-in.blogspot.com

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-21-11

Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Today's Gift

You can feel only your own feelings, not another person's.

Having empathy for those we love, and being able to share their joys and sorrows, is part of our nature as warm, caring human beings. Taken to an extreme, however, too much empathy can mean that we lose our boundaries as emotionally separate individuals. When that happens, nobody wins.

We're responsible for our own feelings. If we're too deeply involved in another person's emotional state, we may not be truly aware of our own feelings. If we take on someone else's response to a situation, we lose our own in the process.

In any situation, particularly one that is highly charged with negative emotions, we need to maintain a sense of self. If we allow ourselves to be swept up in the anger, fear, grief, or despair of someone close to us, we become less capable of giving help and support. Emotional maturity is one of the goals of recovery. We progress toward it as we differentiate how we feel from how another person appears to feel.

I can respect the feelings of others without making them my own.

From the book Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

Read more Daily Motivations at http://thework-in.blogspot.com

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Ed Negron's Daily Motivation 12-20-11

Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Today's Gift

Give to the world all that you have, and the best will come back to you. —Mary Ainge De Vere

When we share something of our own with a friend, it gives both of us a special feeling. Generosity blesses the giver as much as the receiver. Sometimes we feel selfish, wanting to hoard all our treats or treasures. But when we secretly hide them away, we cheat even ourselves from enjoying them.

Giving love and friendship to others works in just the same way. When we express love and kindness to others, we feel more love toward ourselves. Though we may not understand just how it works, we can be certain it does. The more of anything we give away to others, the greater our own rewards will be.


How can I practice generosity today?

From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©

Read more Daily Motivations at http://thework-in.blogspot.com

Monday, December 19, 2011

[VIDEO] How is Shaggy Healthy?

This "How are you healthy" story was filmed as part of a series featuring various youth from the Broadway Youth Center (BYC) who agreed to take part in our campaign.

The BYC is a program of Howard Brown Health Center and our community partners, offering comprehensive services to youth, ages 12-24 including a safe space for young people experiencing homelessness.

As you will see, these fabulous folks do not hold back when telling their stories, enjoy them, learn from them, and check back to see new BYC-generated video blogs in the weeks to come!



How are you healthy?
Please join the hundreds who have shared their tips.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here on LifeLube.
Gay men and all allies welcome to participate.

Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign

 

Op-ed: The Legacy of the Bush War on Gay Iraqis

via Advocate, by Melanie Nathan, op-ed contributor

With the lowering of the American flag, finally off Iraqi soil as it returns home to the United States, and the ecstatic familial greetings of soldiers returned, the Bush Iraq War is over.

It may always be regretted by LGBT  Iraqis. They have suffered alongside all Iraqis, not only as a result of the vanquished Saddam Hussein regime, nor only collaterally from American bombing that comes with the brutal nuances of that particular war, but also because of adversity imposed by being “outed” by militias, and because of brutality by religious fanaticism that has taken hold of post-Saddam Iraq.

While none will debate the imperative demise of Hussein, many Iraqi gays may well have preferred that brutal reign to what they have since faced.

With the war, quiet non-disclosure and occasional homophobic targeting gave way to a voracious endeavor by lawless militias, and they unleashed violence against gays in unprecedented fashion.

Trillions of dollars, blood, limbs and lives are all part of the mayhem that provides the context for this added persecution.

Gay Iraqis had to run, and they are still running. One estimate cited by Gay Middle East says that more than 700 LGBT people have been killed since the U.S. led invasion, with thousands more suffering violence, discrimination and abuse on a daily basis.

Dan Littauer, executive editor of Gay Middle East, told me, "While under the dictatorial regime of Saddam Hussein’s secular Ba’ath party, LGBTI people lived under an unwritten rule akin to a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, but in post-Saddam Iraq, this has become nearly impossible.”

LGBT Iraqis fled in multitudes to Syria, Turkey, Jordan, Lebanon and other countries, now only to be caught up in local revolutions that have caused them further risk and at times violence.

Read the rest


Iraq's unwanted people from Gay Middle East on Vimeo.


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