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Q: I am attending my first IML in Chicago this year and I was wondering if you could tell me more about it and provide any safety tips you have so I can have the best weekend possible!
A: If the smell, feel or taste of leather gets you excited, then keep on reading!
International Mr. Leather (IML) is coming to Chicago May 27-30th and its time to start getting ready! Tickets and packages are still available online and the schedule of events has been posted. Whether this is your 20th IML or a first time experience, it never hurts to refresh the noodle on safer leather sex and some of the hot, hard basics!
Safer + Saner, an organization that provides a range of services targeting individuals interested and engaged in leather sex activities, uses the term “leather sex” to refer to kink, fetish, and BDSM related sexual and play practices. These include (but are not limited to) fisting, watersports, nipple play, bondage, dick and ball torture…and a lot more!!!
IML has all sorts of hot leather activities, parties, and events during the weekend and what will be important to consider throughout your IML experience is the phrase “safer, saner and always consensual!”
So what does this mean exactly?
Even though there is risk attached to some leathersex activities, it’s important to practice as safely as possible. All parties need to take the necessary precautions to prevent psychological and physical damage to themselves and their partner(s). Agree upon a “safe word” to let your partner know if things are getting too intense. Use protective barriers (condoms, dental dams, latex gloves and finger cots) to protect yourself and your partner(s).
All parties need to be in possession of their mental faculties and aware of any risks that may be a part of the activity they are about to experience. For that reason, it’s best to keep alcohol and drugs (illicit or prescription) out of the mix – especially if you’re engaging with people you just met and don’t know well. Be careful of engaging when your guard is down due to loneliness, depression, anger, or other emotional states that may impair your decision making.
ALL WAYS CONSENSUAL
Leathersex encounters are built on trust, pleasure, and mutual exchange. Everyone has limits, so make sure discuss those limits with your partner(s) before the engagement so everyone is on the same page! Leathersex is not rape or abuse! Make sure you have a way to remove yourself from the situation if things get uncomfortable for you.
If you plan on getting in on the action at IML it will be important to keep these basic prevention messages in mind.
• Before he slides his dick in your mouth, make sure there are no cuts or open sores in your mouth.
• Hold off on brushing teeth or flossing for at least two hours before or after oral sex.
• Right before he is about to cum, pull back and let him cum all over your chest to reduce the risk of STD transmission even further. If he cums in your mouth, remember this phrase, “swallow or spit, just don’t let it sit!” Keeping semen in your mouth increases the chance of it coming in contact with an open sore.
• To make sucking dick the safest, place a flavored condom in your mouth and slide it over his dick.
Sex toys can be a fun way to spice up any sexual activity. Remember these quick basic prevention tips as you bust out that whip or dildo.
• If you like having a dildo up your ass, consider using your own toy that only you have used.
• If you want to share a dildo or other toy, slap a condom or other protective barrier on it first.
• Make sure you clean any toy after inserting it into a new partner. Soap and water will work for most sex toys but checking the instructions for each toy will let you know the optimal cleaning method.
• If using toys such as a whip or nipple clamp, make sure to stop before breaking the skin. Setting your limits beforehand and knowing your partners limits will be important.
All about ass
If you love ass, (let’s be honest who doesn’t) remember these tips when fucking, fisting or rimming.
• When fucking, put a latex or polyurethane condom on and add lots of water based lube.
• If you shoot your load inside the condom, hold the base of the condom tightly against your dick while pulling out to makes sure no cum leaks out.
• If you are going to fist fuck, put on long latex gloves and coat them with water based lubricant.
• Oil based lube can be tempting but the oil based lube can hang around in your ass and if you fuck later with a latex condom, the lubricant can damage the condom.
• When eating out ass, make sure that he is clean. If you want extra protection, cover his crack with plastic wrap, a condom cut length wise or a dental dam.
Water Sports (Golden Showers)
• Keep piss away from cuts, wounds and any other openings on the body.
• While taking piss in your mouth is considered low-risk for contracting HIV, there is still a risk of other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and bladder infections.
• Out of courtesy, you may want to avoid asparagus and certain other green veggies before engaging in water sports. Drinking plenty of water or helps dilute the color, smell, and flavor of your urine. Some also recommend eating fruits like pineapple to enhance the flavor!
• When you’re finished, showering/bathing with soap and water is recommended.
There are plenty more tips and sexual activities than the basics I described above so for more information about how to remain safer during other specific sex practices, visit Safer + Saner for some risk reduction tips.
It will provide you with information on Bondage, Discipline, Enemas, Fisting, Watersports, Toys, Wax Play, as well as Nipple, Dick and Ball Play! Do your homework and start slow if you are engaging in an activity that’s new to you. Taking care of yourself and your partner(s) is the best way to keep enjoying yourselves.
In addition to the safer sex tips, here are some other Hot, Safe Leather Sex principles to consider during your IML weekend!
1) Communicate with your partner(s). Let them know what you are into and that are into safer sex.
2) Respect each other’s limits. Setting and respecting limits is a basic part of fantasy sex. Use code words to let each other know things are getting too heavy.
3) Know your body and your partner’s body so you can be careful around cuts, scrapes and other wounds.
4) Learn to talk with your partner(s), develop trust and get tested together. Monogamy is safer sex.
5) Call Howard Brown Health Center at 773-388-1600. Learn more about safer sex, HIV testing, and how to make healthy sex more fun and erotic. It is located on the north side of Chicago and will be represented at IML! Look for us!
For information on some Chicago’s bathhouses, sex shops and bars, I recommended checking out the links below.
List of Boystown Bars
Thank you again for your question and I hope everyone has a wonderful, hot and safe IML 2011!