Tales from a Twink - A Family Thing

... sometimes families aren't united by blood
but by common values, and are committed to each other.

You can pick your nose.......

by Barbieboy07

[Barbie's bio
visit Barbie's World]

...but you can't pick your family.

We've heard this before, but now I want to expound a bit. Would most of us want to change our family?

Well I know that there are some of us that had no other choice.. It isn't easy coming out to your family, most of us know first hand. Thankfully many of today's parents are past the “shame” of having gay or lesbian kids, mainly because being gay is more socially accepted especially depending on where your parents are from. But what about those parents who are still stuck in the stone ages? The parents that instead of trying to understand their son or daughter, just want to hide them away or worse disown them completely. What happens to those kids?

I am very thankful for the mentoring programs here in Chicago for gay kids and teens, but I think we need to make these programs more accessible to the kids who are in schools all over Chicago and not just select neighborhoods.

Parents, are not always easy to get along with, especially in the years of adolescence. I'm 19 and my mother and I are just starting to try to understand each other. She started a few months ago by asking me why I think I'm bisexual. She had that funny way of putting it, why I “think” I'm bisexual, I then went on to tell her that it's something I've been struggling with a long time (being Catholic didn't help) and bouncing back to all these different labels didn't change the fact that I like girls and boys.

In my earlier years talking about my sexuality was totally out of the question, she ignored the makeup in my book bag and the bra's I hid in my room, or maybe she told herself that they were from my girlfriends (which I definitely had plenty of). Trying to prove to myself that I wasn't “bi” I was just going through a phase and that I still liked girls so maybe I was straight. Nuh huh, definitely bi - especially when I fell In love with an older gentleman, and he showed me the wonders of gay sex, and that there is nothing wrong with being bisexual!

Thankfully she never threatened to kick me out or send me away, not all parents are so understanding. Think of openly gay kids who want nothing more than the acceptance from their families and never receive it.

I looked up the word “Family” on dictionary.com and found a lot of different entries on what a family is defined as. This is my favorite one, “Two or more people who share goals and values, have long term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.” Family is just that, sometimes families aren't united by blood but by common values, and are committed to each other.

The 1990 documentary “Paris is Burning” describes the lives of several drag queens from New York during the AIDS crisis. Pepper LaBeija, “The Legendary mother of the House of LaBeija” said it best:

“When someone has rejection from their mother, their father, their family. When they get out in the world they search, they search for someone to fill that void. I know this from experience because I've had kids come to me and latch hold to me like I'm their mother, or like I'm their father. Because they can talk to me, and I'm gay and their gay.”

I don't think we have “Houses” in Chicago but if we did, homeless gay youth would be a lot better off. When kids leave their homes many of them first go live with a friend or another family member. If and when those resources have been tapped and their friends parents can't keep them any longer, they are left to the streets with the pimps and the gangs. Most of us have seen or heard of the gay male prostitutes that hangout in Lakeview and other north side areas. Most of those guys are my age and possibly younger. There is still hope for these kids to change their risky sexual behavior and become responsible citizens, and it really starts with us.

Most people want to change their life for the better. Especially when they are young, most know that they can do better and feel they are just going through a rough patch. I think the answer lies within the services that some community organizations already offer. Mentoring is extremely important for teens, everyone at one point feels lost or helpless or just needs someone to talk to. I think more of our older LGBT community members should volunteer for youth advocacy programs all around the city.

Teenagers don't need to be babied, we don't need to be forced out in the world without support either, what we need most of all is guidance.

Teenagers don't need to be babied, we don't need to be forced out in the world without support either, what we need most of all is guidance. With guidance we can make our own decisions the right way. I think that mentors should also help kids who are thinking of coming out to their families, the scariest thing I've ever done was to tell my mom. With someone in your corner not only rooting for you, but helping you tell your family in the most effective and non threatening way, I think there will be less gay teenage runaways.

I'm always saying good things about the Center On Halsted, but we need more locations, more spread out in different neighborhoods around Chicago. With more locations we can help kids who really are in need, it isn't fair that the best mentoring programs for youth are only in a select areas in the city. It does however make sense that Chicago's historically gay village has holds the best programs for gay youth, but what about the 16 year old twink living on 147^th and S. Halsted who doesn't have any way to get to Lakeview? Or the 13 year old lesbian living in Cicero? Not only do we need more programs, but we need them to be dispersed evenly throughout the city.

Like I said earlier, in life, you can pick your nose but not your family, what you can pick are the right people to help you along the way.

Read more of Barbieboy07's Tales from a Twink here.

Making Anal Sex Safer for MSM in the Developing World

The Invisible Men: Gay Men and Other MSM in the Global HIV/AIDS Epidemic is the exciting pre-conference for MSM prior to the 2008 International AIDS Conference in Mexico City (beginning August 3.) It is being put on by the Global Forum for MSM and HIV.

Click here for the pre-conference program.

Dates: August 1-2, 2008
Location: Sheraton Maria Isabel Hotel & Towers
Paseo de la Reforma, 325 Col. Cuauhtemoc
Mexico City, Mexico

International Rectal Microbicide Advocates (IRMA) is delighted to be presenting the workshop - Making Anal Sex Safer for MSM in the Developing World - on Friday, August 1, 12:00 – 1:30 PM.

Speakers:

Jim Pickett, AIDS Foundation Chicago/IRMA (U.S. - and your friendly lifeluber)

Jeremy Wing Kien Kwan, PT Foundation Pink Triangle/MSM Programme (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)

Olanrewaju Onigbogi, University College Hospital (Ibadan, Nigeria)

Dr. Javier Lama, IRMA – America Latina y el Caribe (Lima, Peru)


Abstract:

The notion that gay men and MSM are strictly a Western phenomenon is patently false. Gay men and other men who have sex with men exist throughout the developing world, despite official denial and cultural stigma and shame that results in catastrophically low levels of HIV prevention funding for these communities. Unprotected anal intercourse is an extraordinarily efficient means of HIV transmission, and more user-controlled methods of protection are needed for gay and MSM that go beyond latex, fidelity and abstinence. International Rectal Microbicide Advocates (IRMA) works to advance the research and development of safe, effective and acceptable rectal microbicides for all the men, and women, around the world who engage in anal intercourse. IRMA members from the developing world (IRMA’s 600+ membership hails from 50 countries) will share the latest rectal microbicide research, highlight key finding in the new IRMA report, ‘Less Silence, More Science”, and discuss global advocacy efforts to engage gay and MSM.

Slides for this presentation will be available on the only blog devoted to rectal microbicides in the WWW, after August 1.

Divine

condoms4life.org

Further evidence that HIV-positive men have higher rates of anal cancer

HIV-positive men are at significantly greater risk of developing anal cancer than men who do not have HIV, say US researchers writing in the Journal of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndromes. As HIV therapy means HIV-positive people are living longer, they add, this cancer is posing an increasing problem.

The incidence of anal cancer has increased in the past decade – particularly among some subgroups of the population. It is already known that HIV-positive men - and men who have sex with men - are at increased risk of anal cancer compared to the general population. Now researchers at the John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore have compared the incidence and risk factors for anal cancer in HIV-positive and HIV-negative men who have sex with men.

Read the rest on Aidsmap.

Free Hugs

Free Hugs, originally uploaded by 8-ung.

HIV Transmission under HAART - Lancet Study and the "Swiss Statement"

HIV-Transmission under HAART - Lancet study rather supports "Swiss Statement" than challenging it!

von Pietro Vernazza letzte Aktualisierung 25. Juli 2008

In tomorrow's issue of the Lancet, Australian authors present a mathematical model to calculate the HIV-transmission risk under a HIV therapy. At the first sight it seems as if the calculations question the Swiss statement on HIV infectivity under HAART. However, an exact consideration of the paper rather strengthens the Swiss statement, as the authors of the editorial suggest.

The "Swiss Statement" was an information to Swiss physicians that the Swiss Commission on AIDS-related issues presented issued in January 2008. It said that physicians could inform their patients that the sexual transmission risk to the partner is negligibly low if three conditions were met:

• HIV-infected patient is under a physician controlled antiretroviral therapy with excellent adherence
• Blood viral load has constistently been undetectable (<40cp/ml)>
• no sexually transmitted diseases are present in neither of the partners

The statement also made clear, that it is only the HIV negative partner who can decide for himself whether he/she wants to stop using condoms with the treated partner.

The authors of the Lancet article from the 26.7.08 (David P Wilson, Matthew G Law, Adnrew E Grulich, David A Cooper, John M Kaldor) analyse potential consequences on new HIV infections if the Swiss statement would be followed. In their mathematical model the authors use the known Rakai partner study as their basis (Quinn et al, NEJM 2000). This work has shown that the risk of transmission is dependent on the virus load in the blood. In this population of approx. 450 HIV-discordant couples the HIV-transmission risk was doubled (x2.45) with every 10-fold rise of viral load in the blood

Simple mathemathical model used
The authors used this factor and computed a linear model in which the transmission risk was extrapolated for very small values of viral load. The transmission risk per sex act was therefore calculated for values of blood viral load around 10 cop/ml. The linear approximation is shown in the figure at right (click on figure for enlarged view). By definition, the transmission risk of such a log-log curve can never be zero. In other words, the authors refuse the existence of a threshhold level, below which no transmission would occur.

Estimation of the transmission risk by anal sex
In the Rakay study, only heterosexual couples were included. To calculate the per contact risk of anal sex among men having sex with men (MSM) for very low viral load values, the authors took the linear model (above) and elevated this curve by the mean difference in transmission risks among heterosexual couples and MSM (factor 20). This "parallel movement" of the risk increases the threshhold problem mentionned above. With this extrapolation, the authors receive highly unplausible values: Based on this calculation, the risk of transmission in one receptive anal contact with a man having only 10 viral copies per ml of blood (i.e. 5 viruses!) would be 1 in 6000. Such a risk estimate is hardly plausible. In the Swiss HIV cohort study (and presumably elsewhere, too) almost 20% of the patients do not use condoms consistently with their steady HIV-negative partner (Panozzo et al).

Reality differs!
In fact, such a high risk of transmission under HAART would be difficult to oversee. After all these years of HAART, we would expect to have documented several occasions of HIV transmision. Many experts as myself have been searching for such unusual cases over many years. As the Swiss Commission clearly stated: the risk is not zero (can never be assertained) but it must be in the range of our normal daily risks and this statement was restricted to situations very specific situations (see conditions above).

Most important risk factor for sexual transmission: Sexually transmitted infections
The mathematical Model presented in the LANCET did not consider one key aspect of the Swiss statement: The most important factor (beside blood viral laod) that increases transmission risk, namely sexually transmitted diseases (STD), namley syphilis, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis and herpes. Such STDs have certainly fueld transmission in the Rakai-Study as well. We know that genital viral concentration can increase 10-fold in the situation. In part, the increased average transmission risk among MSM are a result of the incresed incidence of STDs in this population. The Swiss statement has emphasized the absence of STDs, therefore a caclutlation including the risk in the presence of STDs cannot falsify the Swiss statement.

In summary, it seems obvious, that all the mentioned biases of the mathematical model will increase the risk estimate for HIV transmission under HAART.

Swiss Statement: Distinction, not absolution!
The Swiss Statement was widely misinterpreted by many people who have never read the original paper. The statement is not an "absolution" for HIV-positive indivuduals under fully suppressive HAART. Rather, the statement made a clear distintion of a subgroup of individuals with very limited risk to transmit the virus. Prior to our statement, many physicians have talked in private to their patients and informed them about a the limited risk of transmission under HAART. However, the informations were not openly communicated and to our best knowledge were seldom stressing the importance of the absence of STDs. One goal of the EKAF statement was to stress the importance of STDs and perfect adherence in communications regarding the very low risk of HIV-transmission under HAART. At least in Switzerland, this goal was clearly achieved and the message was well accepted.

The Australian study supports the Swiss statement
In fact, the data presented by Wilson et al. acutally support the Swiss statement as the editorialists (Garnett & Gazzard) conclude. In their commentary, Garnett and Gazzard have calculated per couple transmission risks based on the assumptions included in the Wilson paper (after 100 sexual episodes). Wilson et al. also included an estimate of the effectiveness of condoms. Using these figures, Garnett et Gazzard found that 100% condom use in the absence of HAART was as risky (or even riskier) than having sex without a condom on a fully suppressive HAART (see figure, click on figure to enlarge). In fact, this was exactly what the Swiss statement said: The residual risk of transmission on HAART without a condom was in the same range than having sex without condom in the absence of treatment. Thus, the Australian authors assumptions acutally confirmed the Swiss statement.

Responsible patients are able to decide for themselves
The Swiss statement never assumed a zero risk under fully suppressed HAART but rather stated, that the risk is in the range of other risks in daily life. In fact, the risk of transmission during condom protected sex in the absence of treatment is not zero either, nor is the risk of oral sex (without ejaculation). Nevertheless, oral sex and condom use are widely accepted methods of safer sex.

Other risks of daily life are also illustrative: Among 200'000 Swiss alpinists that spend a weekend in the alps, ten loose their lives every year in an avelange. This risk (1:20'000) is socially accpeted and regular insurances cover it without recourse. The Swiss HIV Experts considered it reasonalbe that an HIV-negative Parnter might be informed by the physician about the neglible risk. It was felt that the partners may decide for themselves how to deal with the final residual risk. This is comparable to the alpinist or to the partner who practices oral sex without condoms. They have all been adequately informed about their limited risk.

Other problems of the mathematical model
For the more experienced reader I would like to mention two other problems of the mathematical model by wilson et al. One is relates to the calculation of a cumulative risk (after 100 or 1000 sexual contacts). Epidemiological studies have told us, that the risk of transmission decreases over the duration of a partnershipt. To some extent, an aquired cell-mediated or mucosal immune defense might be responsible for this decline in transmission probability. Very little viral exposure might stimulate the immune defense rather than lead to full-blown infection. A biological fact that was not considered in the mathematical model, where each sexual contact is associated with the same risk. However, biological considereations would rather suggest that there is a threshhold for sexual transmission below which the development of an HIV specific immune response in the partner is more likely.

These biological observations might also play a role in the difference in transmission risk estimates between heterosexual couples and MSM. The higher estimate of transmission risk in MSM might in part also be a result of a higher proportion of parnterships with a shorter duration. In fact, two studies of female-to-male transmission after a single exposure in Kenia and Thailand found a transmission probability that was at least tenfold higher (3-8%) than in established partnerships and in the same range as for MSM. Thus, the risk estimates for MSM used by Wilson et al. might also be based on wrong assumptions.

Source: Wilson et al, Lancet 26.7.2008, 372:314-20
Editorial: Garnett & Gazzard, Lancet 26.7.2008, 372:271-2

Read other LifeLube posts on the "Swiss Declaration."

Bear Magnet

Woof Wednesday

Each and every Wednesday is Wooftacular
Only on LifeLube, your sweet spot on the net

Agustin's Yoga Routine

100% Gay

From the Midwest Teen Sex Show - which we adore more than corn and cheese.

"Let's Take a Glass Together" - The Podcast is Served

UPDATE 7/30 - Chicago Gay Examiner blogger Michael Lehet - a new and wonderful pal of LifeLube and Project CRYSP - attended our forum last week and took copious notes, basically a transcript or "live blog" - capturing pretty much the entire discussion. Check it out.









Last Wednesday (7/23), Project CRYSP and LifeLube teamed up with the Feast of Fools, Sidetrack, the Chicago Task Force on LGBT Substance Use and Abuse* and four PHENOMENAL speakers to put on a community forum addressing our relationship to alcohol - with a wide ranging discussion from how to avoid a hangover, to how to tell when your use may be slipping to abuse, to our collective responsibility to care for ourselves and one another. About 80 folks joined us for a really great conversation - perhaps the first of its kind, but definitely not the last.

Click here for the Feast of Fools podcast. Download it and listen while you work out, work it, work your voodoo, or just work.

Enjoy LifeLube's photo set from the evening.

Enjoy the Feast of Fools' photo set (some of which are featured in this post - thanks Rick and Fausto.)

*For more info on the Chicago Task Force on LGBT Substance Use and Abuse, contact co-chairs Simone Koehlinger or Jim Pickett. The Task Force meets the third Wednesday of every month at the Chicago Department of Public Health (333 South State, 2nd floor), from 4:30pm to 6:00pm, and is open to all. You are welcome to join us at any time. The group also operates a listserv with over 100 members to share the latest in research, news and local events of interest.

'Black In America' renders black gays invisible in coverage of HIV/AIDS

Pam's House Blend calls it like it is.

[LifeLube wants to know this - How in the HELL can you talk about HIV/AIDS in Black America without mentioning GAY PEOPLE? It is precisely this silence, no doubt informed by a healthy dose of homophobia and hatred, that is allowing for our gay black brothers to get infected at rates that rival the very worst in sub-Saharan Africa. Where are the people speaking up, and standing up, for black gay men???]

I posted my thoughts about the CNN's two-part, six hour Black in America special over the weekend ("CNN does Black in America 101"). It re-aired several times over the weekend. One of the major issues I had with the program, since a good deal of time was spent on the devastating impact of HIV/AIDS in the community, was the complete invisibility about what it is like to be black and gay in America. It takes a lot of effort to dance around the issue, but CNN did it.

Read all of Pam's post here.

Disgusted???

A long and winding rectal road...

International Rectal Microbicide Advocates (IRMA) chair Jim Pickett penned the following article in the Summer 2008 edition of Thrive, a new quarterly HIV prevention, treatment, and advocacy publication from the folks at ACRIA and GMHC.

Excerpt:

We tend to use sex acts as a way to identify populations – equating gay men with anal sex, for instance. Phrases like “heterosexual transmission” assume we are talking about vaginal intercourse, and actually hide the fact that women and men who identify as heterosexual engage in anal sex. This lack of clarity and honesty in discussing how HIV is transmitted between all types of human beings is troubling. It means that a significant portion of the pandemic often described as “driven by heterosexual HIV infection” could actually be caused by unprotected anal intercourse.

Read the full piece here.

Learn more about IRMA and rectal microbicide advocacy on the IRMA website.

Check out the IRMA report, "Less Silence, More Science - Advocacy to Make Rectal Microbicides A Reality."

secrets of Jackson park

straight guys
told by dale

So i know a lot of you guys may have dated a DL guy. Or knOW somebody who is DL. But I use to be on this website which I will not name just to let you know it is a all gay black website . But anyway the has Bi, DL and Gay. But I never knew they have straight guys yes I said it straight guys. Most of them are looking for sex but very few are looking for a relationship with a guy. Some are married and a lot have girlfriend, even though some admit they do have girlfriends and wives. But others choose to lie, and cheat. Some guys were actually looking for girls not transgender but actually looking for real females on a all gay men site pretty Suspicious if I might say . The thing I don’t get is how in the blue hell can you be straight but yet your seeking sex from the same sex . And the strange thing is that most of all of the so called straight guys are bottoms. Which I would think if your straight and you have a girlfriend I would think that you would be using your wiener half of the time. (ha ha I said wiener get it wiener haha) ok I know that wasn’t funny but I try . But anyway I thought the suppose to be straight guys would be tops. I know a lot of you say hey why complain it’s a lot of hot straight guys we wish that were gay. But I’m not complaining it’s just if a guy wants to be on a gay dating site and if he sleeping with men I’m sorry you are bi. There’s no if and or buts about it. It use to make me mad because I ran in to a lot of these guys and the only thing they wanted from me was sex and maybe money which I never gave up. Ok the sex, but that was a one time thing and I used a condom so don’t panic. But I realize with a lot of these so call straight guys they will be quick to give you their number in a hot ass minute. But some straight guys will treat you like their sex buddy not caring about your feelings or how you feel after the whole sex ordeal. It’s just get up you have to go be for my girl gets home, and to a lot of them it’s all about the Nut. But in some cases a lot of girls like to see their men having sex with Men. And a lot of guys like for their girlfriend or wives to bang them with strap on Dildos. So I guess it’s not that bad of a thing but to me I see it as I just don’t get it. If you like Guys and Girls just call yourself Bi that’s not hard to say. Say it with me straight guys BI not bye like saying good bye and not buy like buying sex as some of you guys might have done. But bi as in bisexual, see you said it now you won a free trip to neverland ranch where Jesus juice is in Michael Jacksons closet right next to bubbles. And if you see bubbles you can tell him he can always come home . So I guess if we didn’t have these straight guys it wouldn’t be fun playing the who’s straight and who’s gay game (which I play that game everyday). So if your so called straight and you like to have sex with the same sex keeping doing your thing, only thing I have to say is that it’s this hot guy who calls me said he was bi I would be super happy.

read more secrets of Jackson park

A Jihad for Love

Devotion and angst play equal roles in the lives of gay Muslims who struggle to remain devout members of a faith that decrees them deserving of being stoned to death. A JIHAD FOR LOVE chronicles the personal jihad, i.e. spiritual struggle, of gays and lesbians desperate to remain true to the faith they love yet forced to remain in the closet or emigrate from homelands including Egypt, India, and Iran, where they are hunted and imprisoned. The heart of the tragic dilemma is exposed in the film’s stark contrast between interviews with subjects including a gay South African imam, a Parisian lesbian couple, and gay Iranian men persecuted for attending a gay wedding, and the harsh dogmatic pronouncements by conservative clerics. In English, Arabic, Hindi, Persian, Urdu, and French with English subtitles

Movie opened in Chicago this past Friday and is screening at the Gene Siskel Film Center through Thursday. Click here for more info.

Free Hugs

Free Hugs, originally uploaded by Glow*.

Crystal meth, sexual desire, and sexual shame

via gay.com

Dear Gay Sexpert, I am a recovering meth user. My rehab experience was really helpful, but very anti-sex. To be honest, the best sex I ever had was on crystal meth. Sobering up has trashed my sexual desire and I am fearful that sex will never be the same.

Answer snip:

Almost every treatment program supporting people to stop using crystal also requires them to be sexually abstinent. It's clear that sex can be so dramatically enhanced by crystal, it's very hard to pull the two apart. But all too often sexual activity gets stigmatized as being part of the destructive chemical itself, and, as a sexologist, I begin to recognize something out of whack in the approach to helping meth users recover.

Read the whole thing.

Check out all the Chicago resources on crystal meth here, on the LifeLube mothership.

Cyber Rudeness

We thought this item from Shotworthy was, um, worthy of our sharing it with you. Good manners, after all, are really a must, don't you think?

Related:

Read the LifeLube post and listen to the Feast of Fools podcast "Driving Tips for Sex on the Superhighway" - a LifeLube forum on gay sex and the internet.

Read internet guru Stephan Adelson's LifeLube interview.

Commentary about the world of sex, online.
By CyberRogue

CYBER RUDENESS

I was in one of the Gay.com San Francisco chat rooms the other day when an altercation erupted in the room over a racist comment one guy had made. He didn't think was racist, but many of the other men in the room did. It was hard to tell if the guy who'd made the comment was actually as immature, ignorant, and bigoted as he seemed, or if he was just trying to childishly provoke discussion (it was probably a little of both), The one thing he certainly did succeed in doing was focusing much of the attention in the room on himself, and starting a prolonged free-for-all about racism and the lack of manners that many men display online.

What is it about the Internet, or being online, that makes it so easy for guys to be rude when posting? It's not even clear if guys purposely intend to be so offensive in their posts, or if they just fail to apply the same rules of etiquette for interacting with others that they hopefully use offline, but the end result is the same regardless of whether or not the actual intent is to truly be offensive.

Case in point - how guys express their sexual desires, interests, attractions, and/or wants and needs online. There's a positive and a negative way to communicate what kinds of partners you're interested in meeting or fucking. So why do so many guys choose to do it in a negative way. For instance, if you're not into men of color, or only men of certain races/ethnicities, why not say it in a way that doesn't offend the men that you're not interested in. Particularly since some guys will ignore you even if they're not a part of the racial/ethnic group that you offensively rejected because they find the manner in which you indicated your sexual interests offensive (not to mention a red flag of insensitivity).

Read the rest on Shotworthy.

Q. What are the most common symptoms associated with STDs for men?

A. First of all, remember that some sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) cause no symptoms, and when symptoms do occur, they often go unrecognized. Many people with STDs have no symptoms—none! So you can be infected and even infect someone else without knowing it.

However, there are some common signs to watch for. The symptoms listed below are tricky, as they can show up anywhere from two days to a couple of months after initial exposure to the disease. Sometimes symptoms can show up as much as several years after the initial STD infection.

If you have any of these symptoms or think you have been exposed to an STD, contact a healthcare provider.

Take note of any:
* sores, bumps, or blisters near the mouth or genitals
* burning or pain during urination or a bowel movement
* flu-like symptoms including fever, chills, and aches
* swelling in the groin area
* discharge from the penis or ass
* pain in the testicles

[thanks to Howard Brown Health Center for this info]

"In my book, getting guys together for softball, movies, or boardgames is HIV prevention"

Our friend Trevor Hoppe weighs in on social marketing for gay men.

Social marketing has long been a controversial topic in San Francisco, the country's "ground zero" for testing out new HIV prevention strategies and tools. Unfortunately, complicated conversations about the role it plays our lives as gay men rarely happen -- most LGBT organizations here have already made up their mind about its role in our community.

I was thrilled to receive an invitation several weeks ago to sit on a panel of speakers, all asked to engage critically with social marketing and its relationship to queer health. "Bus Stops, Billboards, & You: Campaigning for Queer Health" took place last Thursday, but was unfortunately not covered by San Francisco's local LGBT newspaper. I wrote in with the following letter to help spread the word, but they didn't publish it (was I too sassy in the opening?). But you can read it below - enjoy!

To The Editor:

I’m happy to report that last Thursday’s community forum at the LGBT Center, “Bus Stops, Billboards, & You: Campaigning for Queer Health,” was a resounding success. While Bay Area Reporter staff did not attend, their absence did not prevent a thoughtful discussion exploring the past, present, and future of social marketing as a tool for promoting queer health.

Many challenges remain for community leaders and public health officials who turn to billboards in their quest to promote healthy behavior. As several panelists at the forum noted (including myself), there is a history of these ads being received as promoting more than just positive change, but also prejudice and hostility. While their defenders assert that these campaigns were designed with the help of the populations they intended to represent (whether it be HIV-positive men or young black men), this does not seem to preclude their potential promote racism, homophobia, or pozphobia.

Further, as a panelist I encouraged attendees to resist relying on formal organizations to “do the work” of community building and HIV prevention. I noted that anyone in the community who feels left out or isolated at community events or even at the bars should take matters into their own hands. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing – going to movies, playing “Dungeons and Dragons,” or playing Canasta – whatever it is, there are at least a dozen other folks in this town who’d be happy to join you. This should be the kind of health promotion that is most encouraged; the kind that never involves a billboard or the words “HIV” or “meth.” In my book, getting guys together for softball, movies, or boardgames is HIV prevention.

As we move forward, let’s hope that public health officials resist pointing fingers at us and telling us how naughty we’ve been this past year. And let’s hope that they realize that spending 100s of thousands of dollars on billboards cannot produce substantial change in our communities. The real change happens when we come together – as a community – and support each other as friends, lovers, and perhaps even as D&D-loving, Canasta-philes. I meet far too many gay men in San Francisco who feel terribly isolated. This, to me, is the greatest challenge we face for the future. With a creative mind, we can all do our part to help.

Trevor Hoppe
Graduate Student
University of Michigan

Friday is for Faeries

LifeLube is faerie-lish - every Friday
Your sweet spot

Taking a Glass at Sidetrack - Community Forum on Alcohol Draws 80

UPDATE 7/29/08
Click here for the freshly loaded Feast of Fools podcast.

Approximately 80 absolutely delightful people participated in the "Let's Take a Glass Together" community forum held last night at Sidetrack (July 23, 2008), thoughtfully examining the role of alcohol in the LGBT community - on the individual level, organizational level, societal and structural levels.

Click here for our flickr photo set.

The event featured a dynamic panel Tom Andrika - bartender manager from Minibar, Paul Davis - bartender from Sidetrack, researcher David McKirnan, Ph.D., and Lisa Rivitz, LCSW, CADC of Howard Brown Health Center. The event was hosted and moderated by the fabulous Feast of Fools who taped the proceedings for an upcoming podcast.


Sponsors of the evening included yours truly - the gay, sexy, health website and blog - LifeLube, Project CRYSP (more than crystal prevention, promoting healthy community), and the Chicago Task Force on LGBT Substance Use and Abuse. Simone Koehlinger, of the Office of LGBT Health, pulled the whole thing together flawlessly. Special thanks also to Sidetrack who worked their magic to ensure a seamless evening.

LifeLube here thought the event was very engaging, and would love to hear what YOU have to think about the proceedings. The big take away message for us was that the LGBT community is strong, resilient and healthy - and when we are confronted with alcohol abuse in our lives, or the lives of our friends and lovers, many of us have the courage and the capacity to address the problem directly. This is not to say that all is hunkydory in the LGBT ghetto - let's toss a few back and and toast to our good fortune... It's more that, ya know, despite the negative messaging coming our way from all corners, including our very own, we really do care about ourselves, each other, and have found loving, creative ways to provide the support and services we all need.


This is only the beginning of the conversation. We would love for you to comment here on what you found interesting at the forum - or not - and what YOU think the community should be doing on every level to make sure we foster healthy, non-abusive relationships with alcohol. All are welcome to share - whether you were with us at Sidetrack last night or not.

And stay tuned to this space - we will share media coverage of the forum, and let you know when the Feast of Fools podcast is uploaded.

So, comment, check out the other pix, and keep talkin'.