Love, AIDS and Aging

Living on golden time

A really incredible, touching, REAL accounting of the toll of AIDS on a long-term gay couple, via The Story [American Public Media].

LifeLube found itself nodding in recognition, holding back tears...

Drugs that combat HIV have prolonged millions of lives. But for some older people, these drugs are also making them age faster.

Larry Gibson and Dennis Golay are in their 60s. They've been together for 27 years, and both have felt the side effects from their medications. Dennis lost his teeth, had a heart attack and developed a humped back. Larry's skull protruded outwards and he's undergone numerous facial injections. Despite their wavering health, Larry and Dennis have outlived 60 of their closest friends.

They talk with Dick Gordon about how they maintain their optimism - and how a pact they made two decades ago keeps them moving forward.

Listen to their story. [you must]

Read Dennis and Larry's article "With HIV, growing older faster."

Learn more about the Desert AIDS Project.

Tranny Shacks: Drag Queens Demand Bailout

"May you live all the days of your life"

Via Ed Negron
Check out his weekly "Work-In", posted every Thursday (usually), right here on LifeLube - your gay, sexy, healthy resource on the net.

Here is today's Keep it Simple mediation. From: "Keep It Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve-Step Beginnings and Renewal", by James Jennings.

I had to pass this on:


Keep It Simple

"May you live all the days of your life" --Jonathan Swift.



Tonight, at midnight, a New Year will begin. None of us know what the New Year will hold. But we can trust ourselves to hold on to the spirit of recovery as we go through the year. As a New Year is about to begin, we can rejoice in our new way of life. We can give our will and our life to our HP. By doing these things, we'll be ready for the New Year.

PRAYER:
Higher Power, I pray that I'll start the New Year safe in Your loving arms. I pray that I'll keep working my program.

ACTION:
Tonight, at midnight, I'll say the Serenity Prayer. I will think of all the others who have read this meditation and who will join me in this prayer. We are a recovering community.



Have a Safe & Happy New Year,

Ed

Chicago: Evening of Cabaret with Dominic Falaschetti

Join the Center on Halsted this coming Monday!


January 5 from 6:00-9:00 p.m. an Evening of Cabaret with Dominic Falaschetti.

Men on Mondays is a social group that meets the first Monday of every month from 6:00-9:00 p.m. at Center on Halsted. Adult gay, bisexual and transgender men are welcome to join a safe and supportive atmosphere for plenty of good food, beverages, music and conversation. $20 includes food and drink.

Forward this on to your friends and invite them to join you.

The Year in HIV/AIDS Treatment/Prevention

via POZ

A new non-nuke, the apparent cure of an HIV-positive patient receiving a bone marrow transplant and the possibility of earlier antiretroviral treatment for all make the top 10 list of treatment research developments for 2008.

Now more than 25 years since the 1983 discovery of HIV as the cause of AIDS, research continues at a steady clip in pursuit of sound prevention strategies, better treatments and—with a little bit of luck—a cure. While 2008 wasn’t exactly a year of earth-shattering discoveries, there were advances, setbacks and a few telltale hints of interesting things to come in 2009.

What follows is a review—including updated insight from some leading HIV activists— of the top 10 treatment research developments that made us sit up straight in 2008.

Read the rest.

Warren - What Matters?

Rick Warren's inaugural prayer is the central front in the struggle for marriage equality in the same way that Saddam Hussein's Iraq was the central front in the War on Terror.

Focus.

- David Quigg, Huffington Post blogger from Seattle
Read the rest of the column.

Woof Wednesday

Every Wednesday

Sieze This Moment

Social Action and Spirituality
Via Sunfire

I’m a member of a YahooI group called Gay Mystics. Recently one of the members submitted a post on the question of whether Obama is an enlightened being. My first thought was that if enlightenment is actually the experience of discovering that you were really enlightened all along, then we all are enlightened beings.

Putting that aside, my own conviction is that if we expect Obama to be an avatar or savior he will deeply disappoint us. If we - and by we I mean all Americans who want peace, political justice, social equality and environmental security - can seize this moment when the forces that have been plundering our nation for their own personal gain have been, perhaps only temporarily, put on the defensive, then we have the possibility of making some progress toward the society and world we seek. We can’t say, “Let Obama do it.” We must put pressure on Congress and the administration to make the changes we need.

Read the rest.

Where does this dude get off?

Hi everyone.

My name is Hudson and I live on the north side of Chicago.

I am a 31-year-old HIV poz gay man. When I tell people my story, they say, “where does this dude get off telling me this, that shit won’t happen to me?” I’ve been negative, attempted to stay that way, but ended up becoming poz. There were steps I should have taken, I didn’t, but now I am taking steps to keep me healthy.

It has always been hard for me to use condoms, but once I found out that I was poz, it became necessary for me to use condoms for me and my partners. Not only to keep those men I slept with safe, but also to keep me safe! I didn’t want to catch anything else!

It’s been a struggle, but I am proud to say that every time I have had sex in the past two months I used a condom. It most definitely wasn’t easy. There were some fine men out there that didn’t care that I was poz, but I couldn’t risk harming them or me.


[Do you want to share your story with LifeLube? What do you do to stay healthy - physically, mentally, spiritually, and/or sexually? What does "healthy" mean to you? How do you find intimacy - friends, lovers, fuckbuddies? Where have you struggled? What works for you? We would love to publish your pearls, right here, so contact us!]

Study: Rejected Gay Youth Face Negative Outcomes

Suicide attempts, drug use higher among those
whose families don't accept them

via U.S. News and World Report

Gay young adults whose families rejected them when they were younger are more likely to have histories of unprotected sex, illegal drug use and suicide attempts, new research suggests.

The findings don't prove that a family's negative reaction to a child's sexuality directly causes problems later in life. But it's clear that "there's a connection between how families treat gay and lesbian children and their mental and physical health," said Caitlin Ryan, a clinical social worker at San Francisco State University and lead author of a study released in the January issue of Pediatrics.

Read the rest of the article here.

To learn more about issues facing gay, lesbian and bisexual teens, check out information from the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.

The "Work-In" - the holidays are not always merry

During this time of the year many people slip into depression. Some slip from their recovery.


Brought to you by Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict(still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned some who can love and be loved (love you Patrick), turned blogger.

Check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.


So did you let some stuff go during the week? If you did, great; if you didn’t, I understand. It’s easier said than done. It takes some practice. So let’s do one together. Yep, that’s right, me and you and everyone else reading this.

Now think of something that you have been carrying around for a while. It doesn’t have to be earth moving. Ok, I’ll model it. I gave someone a gift last weekend and I didn’t get the response I was looking for.

I am angry because that ungrateful S.O.B. didn’t even say thank you, JAG-OFF.

I’m still holding some anger and resentments toward this person.

Now it’s your turn. I’ll wait for you to think it through (playing on-hold music.) Alright, take a deep breath because I can feel you percolating. You’re doing good.

Let’s do the visualization technique:

Imagine that the feeling is tingling, wiggling, and twisting in your hands. Feel the energy of that feeling or feelings in your hands, give it a color, shape, or sound. Now see yourself releasing it. Drop it, throw it or blow it away. Just let it go. Watch it fade away into the distance.

Ah, I feel much better now, don’t you?

During the “Holiday Season” we pick up a lot of stuff. During this time of the year many people slip into depression. Some slip from their recovery. This is because our inner selves are usually at full capacity going into the season. We all know what happens next. We go on overload mode and start overflowing with emotions.

Please, if you are going in any of those directions - go to a 12 step meeting (see links below), call your doctor, a friend, a priest, shit, call an enemy. Reach out!!!!

Do your "Work-In"; go back and reread my first two posts.

Go back to step 5 from last week, ask yourself, “Can I let go of this feeling?" Realize that you are not your feelings and they are not holding on to you. It is the other way round; you are clinging to them.

The choice is yours.

I will end with the email I got today from the Hazelden listserve.

“There are no riches above a sound body, and no joy above the joy of the heart."
--Anonymous

Holidays are a wonderful and exciting time of year - a time to enjoy snowflakes falling, company coming, and presents. Sometimes we find ourselves concentrating solely on the wrapped presents and forgetting about the presents of the heart. With God's help, we can begin to notice such things as the hug from a brother or sister, the laugh of a grandparent or the hand-drawn card given to us by a friend. All of these wonderful presents and more are ours for the taking; we need only to see beyond the wrapped packages. It is then we will fully experience the joys of the heart.

How many gifts do I see around me right now?

From Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.”

Happy Holidays!


Useful Links:

Alcoholics Anonymous Official Web site

Co-dependents Anonymous

Cocaine Anonymous main website

Crystal Meth Anonymous main website

Crystal meth info on the LifeLube mothership

Sex and Drugs info on the LifeLube mothership

Find AA meetings in Chicago and the burbs

Find CA meetings in Chicago

Find CMA meetings in Chicago

Narcotics Anonymous main website

Find NA meetings in Chicago

Sexual Compulsives Anonymous
Find other SCA fellowship in Chicago

GayAlcoholics.com

New Town Alano Club

Sex Addicts Anonymous find meetings

Steps Study
12 Step History and Practice

Monday Morning Perk-Up: A bit premature

Brought to you by Pistol Pete

First Openly Gay Racehorse To Compete Sunday

"He can no more change the fact that he's gay than he's got four hooves."

Feel the Love...

[Sister Glo is an HIV educator, gay men’s health advocate, and member of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in Seattle. She is drawn to sparkly objects and believes that glitter and the transformative power of love in action are necessary to gay men’s health and wellness.]

Delight

Sister Glo shares her glittery gems of love
or LifeLube, each Friday.
Click here to read them all.

"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."

- Alexander Smith

Friday is for Faeries

Every Friday

Kick the Habit - with Howard Brown - in 2009!

Tired of trying to quit smoking on your own?

Join Chicago's only LGBT smoking cessation program for a New Year's Special and quit for good!

You'll get:
Support from a trained smoking cessation counselor
Free 7-week snoking cessation program
Free nicotine replacement therapy patches
$25 for survery completion

In return we ask that you:
Attend all 7 sessions
Complete program surveys
Groups forming now!

Reserve your space, learn more.

"Sex Pigs" - for the Adventurous HIV+ Dude

Fabulous guide from our friends in Australia - for piggy HIV+ gay men who want to be dirty AND healthy.


Click here for an interview on The Body with a social marketing and education expert who worked on this campaign

Woof Wednesday

Every Wednesday

Butt Plugs for the Mantle

via BUTT

Tony Regazzoni is a young sculptor who makes sculptures inspired by sex, nightlife, and fetish objects. He’s been living in Paris for the past 2 years. Tony’s latest work is a series of imaginary butt plug sculptures made in enamelled clay. He has a show currently running at the Galerie ACDC until December 24th, and another coming up in the new year.

BUTT: Where did you go to school?

Tony: I was a student at the Dijon’s Art School in Burgundy and then I had a post-graduate at the ECAL, the art school of Lausanne in Switzerland.

How did you get the idea to do sculptures of imaginary butt plugs?

I wanted to create my own collection. I’m fascinated by the forms and colors of butt plugs - they’re like minimal art sculptures. All my sculptures are inspired by real butt plugs. I just changed some details and proportions.

Read the rest.

“My name is Harvey Milk, and I’m here to recruit you”

That’s a war cry, if I ever heard one.

A Roadmap for Community Organization and Mobilization - Harvey Milk

by Alex Hillmanof Dangerouslyawesome

Over the weekend, I sat down to watch Milk, a documentary about the life story of Harvey Milk as the first openly gay public official.

The story of Harvey’s work for the gay rights movement is inspirational in itself. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be going into the details of that here since I really, really want people to go see the movie.

What I do want to mention is the importance of Harvey’s technique for tactically inspiring, motivating, organizing, and mobilizing a community to action and making things happen. I really think that four step process, in cycles, is a powerful technique and worth reflecting on. And that’s why we’re here, right?

Read the whole thing here. (And you should! It's dangerously awesome.)

Chicago - Gay Latino Men and Allies - Please Join Us 1/28/09

Please RSVP for “Hermanos de Luna y Sol – Addressing Stigma and Promoting Community Involvement as HIV Prevention for Latino Gay Men.”

The FREE community forum for Gay Latino Men and their allies, at La Estancia in Chicago, features Dr. Rafael Diaz of San Francisco State University (above left), Dr. Jesus Ramirez-Valles of UIC (above right), and a performance by Nuestro Tambo.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009
La Estancia 2753 West Division, Chicago
6pm – light refreshments
7pm – presentation and discussion, followed by Nuestro Tambo

Click here to check out the flyer.

Space is limited for this FREE event. You must RSVP.

Click here to RSVP online today.

Call 312-334-0939 to RSVP by phone.

Blog about it – everybody welcome!

Butt Puppets Help Us With the "Crappy Parts" of Being Poz

BeOneCity.com presents CALL ME JOE a five part web-series (cut into one video, below) exploring gay dating and HIV disclosure with irreverent humor and a butt puppet“Call Me Joe”



When and how to tell a date, or perspective sex partner you’re positive is a nerve wracking, stomach-churning crisis every HIV+ person faces. “Will they freak out?” “Will I get rejected?” “How can I tell a stranger my most private fact?”

CALL ME JOE follows Dave (David LeBarron) as he falls in love with his new boyfriend Joe and puts off telling him about his HIV status until it may be too late. In an R-Rated Muppet twist, the role of Joe is played by a moon: (Yes, a man's butt with googly eyes.)

Beonecity.com hired the irreverent and HIV positive writer/performer David LeBarron to tackle the problem of creating dialogue about status disclosure through humor.

"Disclosure is pretty much the crappiest part about being positive, I mean besides the other crappy parts," David laughs, "so I wanted to create a piece that would make people talk, or possibly reference as a segue into their own status."

Monday Morning Perk-Up: Holiday Edition

Brought to you by Pistol Pete

Happy Holidays Folks!

Global Orgasm for Peace - Sunday!

Cum right on time...



WHO? All Men and Women, you and everyone you know.

WHERE? Everywhere in the world, but especially in countries with weapons of mass destruction and places where violence is used in place of mediation.

WHEN? December 21st, at 12:04 Universal Time (GMT) - Click here for YOUR time. Chicago boys, plan to get busy a little before 6:04am.

WHY? To effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spiritual energy.

Learn more on Global Orgasm.

Feel the Love...

Down with the bureaucracy

Sister Glo shares her glittery gems of love for LifeLube, each Friday.
Click here to read them all.

"What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork."

- Pearl Bailey


Sister Glo is an HIV educator, gay men’s health advocate, and member of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in Seattle. She is drawn to sparkly objects and believes that glitter and the transformative power of love in action are necessary to gay men’s health and wellness.